Taking the heart road.

Sometimes Braden (now age 4.5) asks me how to say things in Spanish. I go to this website and we enter words and then we learn now to say them together. He especially enjoys the feature where you can actually listen to a pronunciation of the word. Unfortunately, however, he gets really frustrated when we encounter a Spanish word with an “r” in it, and he can’t say it exactly the same way. I’ve tried to help him learn how to roll his r’s, but he hasn’t been successful yet.

Today he asked how to say “tree” in Spanish. The answer is “arbol.” He became very frustrated about the sound of his r’s again. I began encouraging him to keep trying, but he just kept telling me, “NO, because I CAN’T do it.” This prompted me to launch into a long discussion with him about how you have to keep trying when you can’t do something the first time, rather than giving up, if you really want to learn it. I even gave him examples from my childhood.

(I totally went through torturous and seemingly endless trials in front of the bathroom mirror to learn how to roll my tongue. I was going to be damned if my brother could do that and I could not, and refused to believe the BS idea everyone was feeding me that it’s a genetic trait and you can’t do it unless you inherit that. IN YO FACE, FALSE POP SCIENCE.)

Braden indicated he didn’t agree with my sage advice about trying and learning. So I told him that he can take a slightly easier path and trust my advice, or he can be stubborn and take the hard road through life. He considered this for a few moments, and replied, “I think that instead, I am going to take the heart road, Mommy.”

Me: “What?”
Braden: “I’m going to take the heart road instead.”
Me: “Oh? What is that road like?”
Braden: “It has lots of heart patterns on it. Red ones and pink ones too, and I like them. And lots of heart rocks. And heart shaped trees.”
Me: “How does that make you feel?”
Braden: “It makes me feel so happy.”
Me: “And where does this road lead?”
Braden: “It leads to everywhere you want to go. And there are stars racing in the sky.”

My friends, the heart road is paved with red and pink heart patterns, strewn with heart rocks, and lined with heart shaped trees. It will make you feel happy, stars will race in the sky overhead as you travel, and it leads to “everywhere you want to go.”

I guess being happy on “the heart road” is better than being miserable while struggling to learn rolling your r’s in the long run, huh? This kid kind of totally disarms me every damn day. And he really has no idea how brilliant these things he says really are.

I’m still a firm believer in trying for the things you desire, but I’m glad to have someone in my life who reminds me it’s not always a bad idea to voluntarily take the heart road.

I only teach him the most important things.

And if you don’t think this is important, you wouldn’t fit in around here at all.

And I fart in your general direction.

Awaiting that PLOP of fabulosity.

Elmo, Big Bird, & Cookie Monster are my latest allies in The Great Potty Training Challenge.

Braden is so good at peeing on the toilet when he’s naked. I mean, seriously, I never thought I’d be writing these words about anyone, but:

I am SO proud of the way he hops on that pot and pees!

I’ve watched him progress from a potty in the living room to the toilet that’s off the kitchen near the garage. He’ll stop playing (!!!) hold it while he runs all the way there, move a stool over, put the potty ring on the toilet, climb up, hop on & slide back, and then let the stream go.

It is the best hissing sound I’ve ever heard (so far).

We’re working very carefully right now at getting him to be just as good at it when he’s wearing pants.

Some days are good. Other days? We’re swimmin’ in Peed Up Pants, Yo.

And, just in case you were wondering?

Good Things To Swim In:

• Water
• Beer
• Wine
• The Ocean
• Money (A La Scrooge McDuck)

I was going to say Jello, but enough to swim in would be enough to drown in. Yeah.

Note To Self: Save the Jello for the super awesome, fun Naked Wrestling with girlfriends at our slumber parties.

Bad Things To Swim In:

• Vomit
• Unpaid Bills (Speaking from experience here)
• Booger Pies
• Warm Spit
• Peed Up Pants, Yo

We are making strides, but it is bumpy and sometimes ugly. It is as if having anything on his butt is a signal to him that it’s okay to let’er rip.

We have been calmly and lovingly letting him know that we have other expectations, and encouraging small steps towards the final, desired behavior at all times.

Simultaneously, we’ve been talking to him about how FREAKING AWESOME WONDERFUL GREAT AND FABULO-TASTICAL it is to “put your Poo-Poo in the toilet!!!!!!!!1″.

And can I just say, that on the day that he pulls down those pants and drops a log into the porcelain throne, it will be the most FABULOUS PLOP I have ever heard.

I think I might cry a tear when it happens.

Or do some Naked Jello Wrestling.

One step closer to being free of Doodie Duty.

The potty has moved
slowly across the first floor
towards the bathroom

for a short time now,
and yesterday something cool
happened in that room.

A certain little
boy ran in, looked around and
chose the higher stool.

He WANTS to pee on
the toilet now and can do
it all by himself!

Now if we can just
address this annoying thing
called “shitting in pants.”

19 Months

Dear Braden,

I really should have written you this letter allll the way back on May 16th.  That was when you turned 19 Months old.  That was when you officially crossed over the half year away from 2 mark.

However, I have been playing the avoidance game with my letter to you concerning your 19th Month.  I have really wanted to write it, but every time I thought I just might get to it, I found something else to do instead.

I’m sure this is somehow related to the sorrow that is attached to my other memories from that time period.  I am very sorry about that, son.  I want you to know that my pain will never be more important than you.  Sometimes, though, I just need a little (or a lot of) time to work through it.

Thank you for helping me do that.

What I really owe you right now is your 20th Month letter (which you will have by next week), but I can’t bring myself to write it without adressing the month I let slip by, first. 

And while I won’t have a truly complete letter for you about your 19th Month without torturing both of us, I do want to give you some highlights…

You used to say, “aba” or “arpa” for “airplane.”  I made the mistake of telling you that they are “up in the sky.” 

 

Now you gaze up into the sky at the planes flying by overhead… and call them “gite!”  It’s maddenly adorable.  I’m sure you’ll straighten that out at some point.  That, and your tendency to call fans and lights “esh-wheet!” because whenever you pointed to the ceiling fans/lights and said, “liiiight!”  I said, “That’s right!”  So, your non-”r” pronouncin’ self calls them all, “esh-wheet!” now.  No one ever accused me of being the best mother out there.  Forgive me?

Another weird word thing you started doing during this time was calling both bears and dogs, “Meat.”  And I SWEAR, this one was not my fault!  You started off calling dogs “ogg-ogg” and bears “bit” (that whole inability to pronounce “R’s” thing).  For some reason, one day, you just decided they were both “meat.”  While it is kind of gross, it’s also really funny.   Especially the way you hold off the “T” whenever it’s on the end of a word.  “Meeeeeeaaaaaaaaaa……TTTT.”

In an interesting addition to your exclamations, you started screaming, “I DID IT!” every time you put one of your bath-toy ABC letters on the bathtub wall.  I didn’t even know kids your age could use, “I” appropriately.  It’s obvious you’re a genius.

Aunt Karleigh visited this month, and she found a different way to play with the letters.  She’s obviously also a genius.

On the health front, we finally gave in and ordered an allergy test for you.  We’ve avoided it previously because of the sticking you with needles thing, and the MONEY thing.  In the end, we just needed to know for sure that we weren’t wrong when we assumed you were able to eat the foods we were feeding you. 

There’s something about being your Momma that makes “guessing” when it comes to your health a really crappy seeming and unacceptable thing to do.  You were cleared of all allergies.  We were able to give you all the foods you love again, and after completing a simple (yet huge – a full half) reduction of your liquid consumption, your bowel movements have become manageable instead of liquid hot magma.

Chalk (“CHOT!”) has been a huge obsession.  You are IN LOVE WITH chalk (and crayons).  I have begun to worry that if you could, you would BE chalk (or crayons).  But, I kind of love it that you love that stuff.  I see me in you when you love stuff like that.  Let’s hang out a lot, okay?

Oh yeah. We’ve been putting you on your potty to pee for months. Generally, you start peeing, and then we put you on it to finish. We’re proud every time.

Then, you did this:

And you didn’t pee… but DUDE, you sat on the thing all by yourself! I WAS SO EXCITED. If you only knew how happy that kind of thing makes me!

 

I am never disappointed in my desire to watch you learn. You never stop!

You’ve been interested in your and our “eyes” for some time, but you experienced a Face Parts Explosion this month. You now point out “Eyyyyye!” and though you don’t say it, also ears and nose when questioned.  I’m so proud of you, Face Parts Boy.

 

In so many ways you are learning, growing and discovering. Every Single Day.

Always exploring.

Always questioning.

Always looking for something new.

Always eager to solve the problem.

Always studying the details.

 

And as I watch you do all of this?  Over and over again I already face a hard realization.

Every day, with every step you take, you are taking one more step away from me.

And while I loathe that idea with all of my being…

I hope with all my heart that I’m preparing you well to leave me behind some day.

 

Love,

Momma

 

 

Braden James University

My son astounds me every day with his beauty.

How is it possible that this person came out of my body?

I have 2 degrees, a BA and an MA…. spent yearsandyearsandyears in school with my nose in books…. and I have learned more in the past 11 months than I ever did in a classroom.

My son reminds me of how important it is to laugh, sing, play, and love. What better lessons in life are there than these?