Lazy douche goes to Ultimate Blog Party, Nashville.

Have you heard of The Ultimate Blog Party by 5 Minutes for Mom?

Probably so, because you are all much smarter, more hip, and in the know than I.

I hadn’t heard about it until my lovely friend Mrs. Fussypants invited me to the physical version of one going on here in Nashville.

No offense to 5M4M, it’s just that I never know what the hell is going on anywhere until someone clues me in.  I’m a super idiot spazz braindead moron cutting edge on-the-fly kinda girl like that.

That didn’t even make any sense. But let’s pretend like it did.

Point? I’m heading over to Malia‘s house Monday evening, where the Nashville Ultimate Blog Party is being held, to embarrass myself at yet another internet-related IRL Event. And I’m forcing my husband to come with me, because I heard there MIGHT be a LITTLE wine there and if there is? I get to have some. And that means he gets to drive.

Sarcastic Mom does not endorse drunk, buzzed, or tipsy driving.

Get thy drink on safely.

You know, what I really meant to say is that if he didn’t come with me, I’d miss him a lot and be miserable. Yeah, that’s it.

And I didn’t just correct myself for fear of losing frequent foot rubs and after-dinner dish cleanup by the hus.

And by the way, it’s also totally not just so he can babysit Braden while I blab and gab and act like a super doof.

Really. It’s not.

Our bond is thick and dear and we cannot bear to be apart for even short periods of time.

Yeah. You don’t even believe me, do you? You damn people have gotten too smart.

So, Monday night I get to leave the house in the evening (*gasp*), possibly have a drink, hang out with other bloggers (score) and listen to the lovely Leslie Mills perform.

I hear tell that we are supposed to be prepared to be interviewed, so I’ll be washing the bottom of my shoes on the off chance that I’ll be sticking one of my feet in my mouth.

You laughed when I said “off chance.” Seriously. Stop being so damn smart.

This post really was the dumbest way to virtually introduce myself to anyone visiting from the UBP, but hey, might as well make it clear from the get-go that I am clueless, moronic, lazy, irresponsible, and can’t be expected to follow rules.

By the way, apparently there are prizes to be won if you follow all the rules and post something/link in by March 27.  Or something like that.  I got a bit confused.  I think you have to comment on at least 832 blogs to enter.  What?  I don’t remember, but it sounded cool.  For people who have energy and are not Big Fat Lazy Douches.

Just give me my wine, and I will be okay.