Posts Tagged Memories
A year.
Posted by Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom in Mental/Emotional, Miscarriage on December 9, 2009
A lot of times I walk past it on my way to do other things without even thinking.
Most days I can pass by it at least once without noticing it there.
Every day I look at it and think of how empty it is.
I’ve thought about taking it apart and putting it in the garage, where I will not see it as often, or be tempted to picture him there.
I’ve stood before it crying because it isn’t being used.
I’ve wondered why it remains in my home even though I don’t think it will ever have use here again.
I contemplate whether it is unhealthy. I worry that it means I’m broken.
I’m not ready for it to go anywhere. I’m not entirely sure what that means. I know what you think it may mean. It’s not that. I’m just not ready.
I know that at some point I will be. And then I will do it myself, and it will be okay.
But for now it stays.
There is a crib in my hallway. It is wooden, and lonely, and it just waits and waits for a someday that never was.
It’s been a very long year.
A little extra help holding on.
Posted by Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom in Photography, Photohunt on June 13, 2009

Today’s Photohunt Theme is “Lock”
My memory is shoddy; part of the reason I take so many photographs is so I can remember.
Memories are the treasures that we keep locked deep within the storehouse of our souls, to keep our hearts warm when we are lonely.
–Becky Aligada
And so this is why I keep snapping, to retain these truths of my own experience. To freeze in time where I’ve been and what I’ve seen. To hold onto a little bit of… everything. Sometimes, one needs a little help holding onto certain memories.
Others, of course, stick to us without effort. Life is funny that way.
The things we truly love stay with us always, locked in our hearts as long as life remains.
–Josephine Baker
Did I mention that the chocolate cake was AWESOME?
Posted by Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom in Giveaway, Love, Parenting on May 11, 2009
It’s not hard to make the people who mean something to you feel special.
But it can be easy to forget to do it regularly. I know that a lot of people don’t like Mother’s/Father’s Day because of the excessive commercialization. I’m not really bothered by that aspect of it – that the days are advertised and talked about just means I’ll remember to send something to the woman who spent hours playing in the sun with me, and the man who taught me how to love a garden.
That’s quite alright with me.
Yesterday, John let me play outside without worry, as he took care of household duties. I mowed the lawn and played with my flower beds. I watched him and Braden play together, talking of birdies and such. It was really lovely. (The chocolate cake I got to cram into my facehole last night wasn’t bad either.)
I can’t say I didn’t spend considerable time off and on thinking about things related to Mother’s day that are sad and which have no emotional or logical resolution that I know of right now. Things related to what is and what is not, what could have, would have, should have been. For myself. For others.
But I also spent a lot of time being aware of what I have and being grateful.
And, you know, eating that chocolate cake. Layered with chocolate mousse. *drool*
And while I enjoyed my day, I knew that there was a photo magnet and card from Snapfish in my mom’s hands, and the same for John’s mom. I know that even if I’m too much of a distractible, lazy douche to let them know every day, at least right now those two moms know I appreciate them.
I have a few things stashed away for June 21 (Father’s Day), too. Snapfish also helped with that. And there’s a $50 giveaway over here from them you can enter to get a jump start on your gifts, too. You can thank me later. (With Chocolate Tall Cake from Ruby Tuesdays. Just, you know, if you were wondering. IT’S GOOD.)
Once more, for good measure.
Posted by Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom in Haiku, Mental/Emotional, Poetry on March 20, 2009
Long time readers will
remember the story of
our last, moldy house.
What a trial that was!
We have been in this new home
for a whole year now.
I could never say
thank you enough times to those
who helped us get out.
To all of you who
stepped in to help us move then
and are still around
I want you to know
that I think grateful thoughts of
each of you often.
And now we’ve got a
whole year of new memories
in a better home.
So much has happened
in this year that has now passed.
It’s remarkable.

March 2008………………………………………………………………………………………………………….March 2009
So, once more I say
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you all
Thanks so very much.























you said