Welcome home, stranger!
In case you are wondering, I won’t be online as much for the next few days.
My computer desk will miss me, and my chair will be empty and lonely more than usual.
John will be home sometime early Wednesday for the first time in 3 weeks.
It’s good to have your best friend and baby daddy home again. I’m going to soak it up a bit.
Scratch that. A LOT.
*****
FYI: Don’t forget to keep checking out Photo Bliss – the Photography Column @ Blissfully Domestic. Great posts and amazing photos are publishing there daily. The first installment of my personal water photography series starts Wednesday at noon (CST). Hope you like it!
She was right, the not pretending thing makes you cry.
Recently I saw
a very dear friend two times
before she would move.
At the first visit
we pretended she was not
packing while we talked.
She was not putting
her kitchen into boxes
while we drank coffee.
While I gazed at her
new baby boy, she was not
five days from leaving.
While we lamented
our inability to
attend Blogher (*sniff*),
I was not thinking
that soon I’d be unable
to just visit her.
At the last visit
We had lunch and took photos.
We said, “goodbye.” Hugged.
Photo by Meredith
It’s sad when a friend
that you cherish moves away,
but means you were blessed.
And now she is gone.
I am done with pretending.
I’ll miss you, Alli.
Photo by Meredith
I think I left my heart in Austin, TX.
Because every time something reminds me of the time when I lived there, my chest aches.
I miss you, Austin.
I miss the friends I made there. I miss the guy for whom all food is Mexican. I miss the redhead with the unruly toddler who asked me, “did you smell my toot?” I miss the die-hard bargain shopper who loves all things lemon and tea. I miss the guy who showed me “too many colors!” I miss the kitchen ninja who made my hair become strands of many hues. I miss that lovely blonde girl who autographed my boobie. I miss the unruly, late-night-TC-eating, prankster. I miss she of the ripped skirt. I miss them all.
I miss hating, loving, and being challenged by my job. I miss my bosses, my employees, and my customers. (I also kind of don’t miss my bosses or my customers. There were moments, okay?) I miss late night floor changes that made me want to rip my face off, followed by late night drinking with co-workers, where I generally laughed what was left of my face off. I miss being late to work, because it meant I had a schedule. I miss being a part of the outside world.
I miss Pastor Jeff and his Hawaiian shirts. I miss how he looks kind of like Phil Jackson, but in a cuddly, teddy bear way. I miss being a greeter at church and holding the door for people. I miss the feeling of being in the place where I was baptised.
I miss our large dog in the backyard who used to chew pieces of our house off when he got bored. I miss the way he was over 100lbs, but The Mexican, at 5lbs, was in charge of him. Because he was a gentle giant. I miss how when we first got them both as puppies, they drove me crazy until I thought I would rip all my hair from my head. I miss the way they used to play together and bring me endless joy.
I miss giggling like a school girl, but then kind of throwing up in my mouth a little, as we passed by Hippie Hollow on our way to other spots along Lake Travis. I miss playing at the lake all day and then sipping a margarita on the deck of The Oasis. I miss feeling sun drunk and heady, sitting on that deck, set into the side of the cliff, as I stared into John’s eyes while the sun set over the water right below us. I miss the way they used to ring the bell right at the moment the sun slipped below the horizon, and how everyone in the whole place clapped.
I miss celebrating the sunset with strangers.
I miss living in the house we owned together… young, careless, stupid. I miss late-night partying and reckless behavior. I miss deciding to sleep until noon, just because it felt so cuddly in his embrace. I miss going out just for doughnuts at 2am if we felt like it. I miss taking my youth for granted. I miss being carefree.
I miss my garden. I miss being able to dig up whatever part of the yard I damn well pleased and plant anything my heart desired there. I miss the lime tree I planted just so that I’d never have a Corona in my hands that lacked a lime. I miss living where a lime tree would actually thrive.
I miss Taco Cabana. Whataburger. Kerbey Lane. CHUYS. (I would kill a man with my bare hands right now for that creamy jalapeno dip.)
I miss this guy quite a lot:
I miss bare-foot weather 361 days of the year and more blue skies with puffy clouds than you can dream.
I miss the way you look, the way you feel, and who I was when I was with you, Austin.
I could go on, but what’s the point, really?
I miss you, Austin.
I wonder if you miss me.
Haik’ave you seen mah baby daddy?
Almost one month now
since I quit taking The Pill.
I am healing well.
Gone back pain and ache!
Bye-bye to dragging fatigue…
Hello, Libido! 
No more strange crying.
And flat affect is replaced
by more steady joy.
Now I am just sad
because my very best friend’s
on the road again.
Good thing I have my
very own munchkin to keep
me laughing all day.
Still, this lil’ momma
sure is ready to see “her
baby daddy” soon!
Haiku most humble.
My husband has been
home for well over a month.
No shows on the road.
When he is touring
on a regular basis,
he is gone a lot.
Left here in our home
with son and dog to care for,
cope alone, I must.
I develop a
routine and a rhythm of
life that we stick to.
When my love comes home,
he totally disturbs that.
I get frustrated.
Like a true cooter
I take for granted effort
from him to help out.
I see the things that
bother me more starkly than
those which show his love.
There’s pee on the rim!
You didn’t check his diaper!?!
Pick up your gross socks!
But if I stop and
check in with my heart and think,
I realize this:
Whenever he’s gone,
there are very important
things that we will miss.
You know you want to nibble him.
Theme for January 5th, 2008: “Delicious”
What could be more delicious to a Mommy than the sweet days gone by? The dwindling memories… stirred by photos…
…of a first-day-on-earth fuzzy face…
…or a shiny, new baby-belly-button?
How about a chubby baby cheek…
…a pair of tiny, delicate fists…
…or those little, tender footsies?
I almost weep when I revisit these. He is tender… sweet.
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