Giving up carefree toilet time? Yeah, it’s worth it.

So, there are clearly plenty of posts on this website where I whine and complain about the things that Braden does that drive me nuts. Heck, he even stepped in and gave you his outline of The Plan, and anyone reading that can see that the first couple of years can be just a little bit stressful on a parent at times.

And, well, it may even seem like I complain about stupid things, like when I said that some days he seems to pee on every inch of carpet, and it makes me tired… but, um. I’m the one who lets him run around naked, right? I mean, if you scan comments on that post, you can even see how well some unknown, uncuntactable, I mean, uncontactable ”momma” set me straight on that. (Me still not know how use diapers. What diapers are? Diapers food? *bangs rocks together*)

But, as per all the complaining, do I mean to dissuade others who have not yet reproduced from doing so?

That depends. If you’re the idiot who cut me off in traffic the other day, then YES.

Yes, AND? You should experiment with juggling sharp knives near your crotch. Just to make sure.

(Honestly, I could probably give you a long list of people who I think shouldn’t reproduce, but for the sake of time, we’ll call that a post for another day, right?)

For EVERY thing that Braden does that makes me want to run straight off the edge of a cliff (while stabbling myself repeatedly), there are about, ohhh, eleventy-fafillion (and that’s a damn lot) things about him, and being a parent in general, that simultaneously make me sad I waited so long to be one and multiply my joy by infinity.

Infinity is more than eleventy-fafillion, just in case anyone’s counting.

He makes me LAUGH. More than anyone else I know!