It’s for me, even if I don’t know why.

Feeling pretty peaceful today. I watched a creeped out movie last night by myself (Dead Silence) which is something I like to do (watch creeped out movies, not by myself, particularly). Somehow, I made it through the night. Usually, I end up imagining only 5 less than 1,074 ways I’m going to die the night after I watch something like that alone. Seriously, don’t watch crap like The Ring or The Grudge by yourself. Or be by yourself ever again after you watch them. (Kids in the house don’t count, they’re worthless during a ghost or demon attack.)

I digress. The main point being pushed aside by my blathering is that I slept really well last night. My fingers never touched my keyboard after 9:30pm – a rarity. Woke up this morning and listened to Braden playing in his room (in his crib) until he sounded the cranky “Come Get Me NOW” alarm. Then I stripped him of PJs and we went downstairs for breakfast. Some days I just let him run around while he eats instead of sitting at the table. I know, bad eating habits and all that (blah blah blah bahl). It’s the exception rather than the norm, so I don’t buy that bunk.

He’s been running around naked, laughing his little dimples into a frenzy over Teletubbies, and shoving banana chunks, wheat chex, and rice milk down his little throat. He ran over to the television screen a while ago, pointed (so close he was touching it) and said, “weeeeehhhhdddd!!!” He was right. It was completely red, with the red Teletubby standing in the middle of it. He’s been showing an intense interest in letters, numbers, shapes, and colors lately. I don’t push it, but I answer all his questions. And I kind of stand back, observing his brilliance, then reinforcing his enthusiasm. It amazes me, makes me proud. Of course, I’m also proud every time he announces, “aaahhhrt!” (fart) and “buuuhhhp!” (burp)

I dropped onto the couch after eating my granola bars and drinking my coffee, to continue watching him parade around in laughter at these odd, annoying, little colored creatures dancing around on my television screen. Braden’s sick right now, so he’s a bit more snugglie than usual. He ran over to the couch, flashed his dimples at me, and then crawled up and inserted himself into the empty space on my torso, pressing his face into my chest. I watched him while he watched TV. And I felt so lucky.

Here I am, laying on this couch with a full belly, and I get to touch his soft skin. I get to look at his adorable face, and kiss his sweet cheek. He wants me to hold him close. And I get to. Other than John (when he’s here) I’m the only one who gets to enjoy Braden’s sweetness in this way. I’m the only one who gets to hold him in an embrace like this, savoring his sweet smell, knowing that he loves me.

I’m the only one (most of the time) who gets to see him doing things like this:

I’m the only one who gets to see his cute and funny little dances this morning, and receive his hugs full of love and confidence. For that, though I see no reason why I deserve it, I am infinitely thankful.

No snark today, folks. Just blessings for your Friday. Here’s hoping your week wraps up pleasantly.

Till death do us part. Or bubble baths.

John is home! He arrived home Sunday afternoon.

Which is AWESOME because I am officially handing this:

… over to him for the next few days.

(And yes, I know it’s cute on video. I hate you. Shut up. If you want a more realistic effect, make sure your speakers are set to maximum volume. In fact? Make them go to 11.)

And I will be doing this:

Cause I stink.

What are you doing this week?

Approaching the dark path…

Once he reached it, he looked at it for a moment, and said, “Cool.”

“Approaching the dark path” and he’s as cool as the proverbial cucumber.

I wish I had his bravado.

Hidden treasures in my phone.

Was actually
thinking about not posting
at all on Friday.

Just not feeling like
it really. I vomited
my soul yesterday.

So what’s left today?
Then browsing my phone’s photos…
felt compelled to share.

Here are some photos
taken with my phone since B
was born.  Such treasures.

In the hospital, day after birth. (10.17.06)

Grin

March 30, 2007

Cutesie

Just like Momma.

Just like Daddy. (04.28.07)

Lookin’ good together. (10.21.07)

Baring it all. (11.14.07)

Jammin’ a nanner. (11.18.07)

Bathing with a buddy. (12.05.07)

Evil car nap. (12.18.07)

Being his silly self. Such long hair! (02.09.08)

There are many more,
to be sure, but I will spare
you further photos.

These hidden treasures
are there to be found when we
seem to need them most.

Photo Hunt, #3: I Love _______

Theme for November 17th, 2007: “I Love _______.”

I think the answer here is obvious. Cheese.

Haha, just kidding. It’s John & Braden, of course.

This photo holds the 2 most important parts of my life. These guys are the reason why I get up in the morning, and they keep me going every day (boy, do they ever). They both make me laugh even when I think there’s no laughter left. Each of them can push my buttons and frustrate me like no other: A sign of true love. I dream of them while I slumber, and when I’m awake in the middle of the night, alone, I miss them both.

Cheese was a close second, though.

Wanna see more Photo Hunt?

The Best Gig

Waking for Braden

Last night I awoke, at about 4:30 am, to mildly-annoyed-baby-whine sounds. Listening to the monitor intently for a moment, tapping into that special Baby Sound Meanings-Deciphering Super Power us mommies have, I decided Braden must be half asleep, but missing his paci.Sometimes, the sounds say, “I miss my paci… but it’s not a big deal, and in a few seconds, I’m gonna murmur off, back into deep sleep without it.” When they say that, I roll over and go back to sleep.

Sometimes the sleepy sounds say, “Uh-oh. I miss my paci. While I sound pretty deep asleep still, right now, if it doesn’t jump in my mouth soon, things are going to change pretty quickly.” When they say that, I’ve learned to get up quickly, walk quietly, search furtively, find the paci and plug the hole.

Of course, sometimes they say, “OMG, I’M NOT GOING TO MAKE QUIET, SLEEPY SOUNDS AT ALL! I JUST WOKE UP, MY PACI IS GONE, AND WE’RE GOING STRAIGHT INTO DEFCON-5! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Those are the nights when I really, really wish I hadn’t given up the sweet, sweet alcohol. (Because getting drunk while rocking a child back to sleep for the next seventy-eleven hours is a good idea. ? )

So, anyway, while I was standing by his crib reaching into the corner to retrieve The Paci, the soft glow of his crib-side light gave me one of those sweet glimpses of my Nighttime Braden. He was nestled near the corner of the crib right next to me, on his back, sleepily rubbing at one eye, with both eyes still shut. His blonde hair was falling back softly from his forehead. He had that, “I’m an angel in dinosaur pajamas” look. I sighed as I put the paci back into his little mouth, and listened to his sleepy, happy sucking sounds.

Back in bed, I spoke to him in my head for a few minutes.

“Braden, you have amazed me just recently.

I can’t believe how much you JUST changed on me again. I can’t believe how often you are talking to me, and that you’re asking me QUESTIONS!

I can’t believe that you can RUN and point at things and ask me, “Ish?” (this?) and “Wah-DAHT?”

I can’t believe that you spit out large paragraphs of garbled baby-language about the things I identify for you.

Braden, I’m just amazed by you and I don’t know how to tell you that. I still can’t believe that God decided to let you live with me.

But, you know what, Braden?

I hope He never changes His mind.”