Posts Tagged pee

Awaiting that PLOP of fabulosity.

Posted by Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom in Humor, My Son, Parenting, Poop/Farts on March 19, 2009

allies

Elmo, Big Bird, & Cookie Monster are my latest allies in The Great Potty Training Challenge.

Braden is so good at peeing on the toilet when he’s naked. I mean, seriously, I never thought I’d be writing these words about anyone, but:

I am SO proud of the way he hops on that pot and pees!

I’ve watched him progress from a potty in the living room to the toilet that’s off the kitchen near the garage. He’ll stop playing (!!!) hold it while he runs all the way there, move a stool over, put the potty ring on the toilet, climb up, hop on & slide back, and then let the stream go.

It is the best hissing sound I’ve ever heard (so far).

We’re working very carefully right now at getting him to be just as good at it when he’s wearing pants.

Some days are good. Other days? We’re swimmin’ in Peed Up Pants, Yo.

And, just in case you were wondering?

Good Things To Swim In:

Water
Beer
Wine
The Ocean
Money (A La Scrooge McDuck)

I was going to say Jello, but enough to swim in would be enough to drown in. Yeah.

Note To Self: Save the Jello for the super awesome, fun Naked Wrestling with girlfriends at our slumber parties.

Bad Things To Swim In:

Vomit
Unpaid Bills (Speaking from experience here)
Booger Pies
Warm Spit
Peed Up Pants, Yo

We are making strides, but it is bumpy and sometimes ugly. It is as if having anything on his butt is a signal to him that it’s okay to let’er rip.

We have been calmly and lovingly letting him know that we have other expectations, and encouraging small steps towards the final, desired behavior at all times.

Simultaneously, we’ve been talking to him about how FREAKING AWESOME WONDERFUL GREAT AND FABULO-TASTICAL it is to “put your Poo-Poo in the toilet!!!!!!!!1″.

And can I just say, that on the day that he pulls down those pants and drops a log into the porcelain throne, it will be the most FABULOUS PLOP I have ever heard.

I think I might cry a tear when it happens.

Or do some Naked Jello Wrestling.

booger pies, Challenge, Child, Learning, milestone, motherhood, my son, Naked JELLO Wrestling, Parenting, pee, Plop, Poo-Poo, Poop/Farts, Potty Training, Progress, toddler, Toilet, urine

29 Comments

When toddlers pee in anger.

Posted by Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom in Humor, My Son, Poetry on March 10, 2009

A poem for my living room carpet:

They said you were dirty
but what did they know
I’ve cared for you plenty
and boy does it show

You’re not even black yet
just a dingy grey
I swore that I’d steam you
one of these days

Then a cranky toddler
had fits he did throw
got time out, and got back
at Mom with Pee Shows.

Oh carpet, it soaked in
and I waited too long
I steamed you last night
now you smell like burnt schlong (??? sorry, it rhymed)

Another Mom Lesson
with answers you seek:
don’t let it soak in! when
you do clean, it REEKS.

Carpet, clean, dirty, disgusting, enzymes, fit, gross, kids and animals, living room carpet, nature's miracle, odor, pee, pet tastic, Poem, poetry, reek, Sink, smell, soaked in, steam clean, stinky, Strong, super clean, Tantrum, Time Out, toddler, urine, vinegar, wait too long, Wet, yuck

26 Comments

One step closer to being free of Doodie Duty.

Posted by Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom in Haiku, My Son, Parenting, Poetry, Poop/Farts on March 6, 2009

The potty has moved
slowly across the first floor
towards the bathroom

for a short time now,
and yesterday something cool
happened in that room.

A certain little
boy ran in, looked around and
chose the higher stool.

He WANTS to pee on
the toilet now and can do
it all by himself!

Now if we can just
address this annoying thing
called “shitting in pants.”

Diapers, Learning, pee, pee in toilet, phases, Poem, poetry, Poop/Farts, Potty Training, stages, Stanzas, toddler, Toilet, training pants, Writing

20 Comments

Welcome back, Pee-Dog!

Posted by Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom in Humor, The Mexican on October 30, 2008

If you’ve been reading here for awhile, you know that we have a small rat fur-pest dog – a lil’ Chihuahua whose name is Zack, but who we lovingly refer to as “The Mexican.”

Like Braden, he survives in our household because he is very, very cute.

But his cuteness could not surpass the high level of vomiticousness that was his constant need to piss on everything we own. Over and over again we tried to be patient and train him, to no avail. When we moved again, we decided to try living Pee Free.

And the dog went outside.