Because I am kind, polite, and always helpful.

I’m here to help you all out with a bit of friendly information for bloggers and those who use social media applications for business or networking with others. This is also good information for halfwits who have access to a computer and whack at the keys in random order.

Having some type of contact information on your website and your social media pages is a good idea if you’re interested in interacting with the outside world. And I’m assuming that if you use things like Twitter, etc, then that is most likely the case. Especially if you send out @’s to people.

One might want to contact you about something – elaborate her feelings. Maybe relate to you something FYI. (By the way, since I’m being helpful today, FYI means “For Your Information.”) A person might want to do that privately, between you and her, out of respect for you. Because hey, that’s the decent thing to do, right?  So she looks for your email address.

But if you don’t leave your contact information anywhere, this becomes difficult.

It doesn’t have to be your personal email address – set up a business account, whatever.

I can’t find an email I need right now. And I can’t shut this.

So here I am! Lucky, lucky you.  You feel so lucky, don’t you?  Come on… tell me you do.

And by the way, I have a general rule of not calling out specific people on my website, but damn it, if you belittle my friends publicly? When you stand up in a public forum and go out of your way to put down someone I love – someone who is a damn fine person, both intelligent and compassionate? You’re pushing me.

This was brought to my attention yesterday:

And it is bullshit.

Because, hai! You can follow and unfollow whoever the hell you want on Twitter. But announcing it as a Tweet is about the most STUPID ASS THING you can do. You deserve an immediate STFU when you do that.

I was not happy. Leslie is a close friend.

photo credit: Angie

*cough*

So, anyway, she is a close friend and she doesn’t deserve that kind of treatment.

So. I checked out this Keyboard Whacker.  Here is her bio:

And you know, I have no problem with that, whatsoever.  I want to say that at the outset here.  I am not a Believer Basher or a Jesus Hater.  If you know me, you know that.  But, and here’s another FYI moment for you, know this:  Your Twitter Bio represents who you are, and everyone visiting your page will take it as that.  Because this is how you’re representing yourself in a nutshell.  So, hey, if you write it there, people are going to refer to it.  Doubt that not.

Ok.  Taking out the name, but I’m well aware you can easily find it. Just don’t see the need for it here.

So -

from @SarcasticMomLC

from @VDog

from Keyboard Whacker

Someone forgot the daily challenge they typed in their own bio. Rut-roh!

Oh, and this was the offending snatchiness.

As far as I can gather, he didn’t separate himself from sinners, either.

from @SarcasticMomLC

from @VDog

from Keyboard Whacker

from SarcasticMomLC

from Keyboard Whacker

Just for FYI.  You know, in other words, just for for your information.

Man, I think those might just be the most sincere apologies I’ve ever seen.

from Keyboard Whacker

Pioneer Woman Blog College? LMMFAO Oh, my.

from @VDog

from Keyboard Whacker

You might want to revisit the process.

from @VDog

from Keyboard Whacker

Wait. What the?  Hold on.  Okay. “you got did from my bio…” *scanning, scanning* Nope. Does not process.

from @VDog

That is, more or less, what unfolded.  It’s ridiculous, and yes it’s drama. Oooh, the gossipy drama.  Which, yeah. But I had to go there this time.  (Please to be scrolling back up and reviewing the Flinger Kissing photo and the part about she’s mah beesh forevah.)

And then the rest of that crap just left me needing to talk to this woman a little, but not really out there, or only in 140.  But I couldn’t nail down her damn email address.

And so here goes it, the open letter to Keyboard Whacker.

I definitely don’t hold Christians to a standard of perfection.  However, most “followers of Jesus” generally aim to be more like Him.  Is that not what you are challenged to do every day?  Enlighten me to your different way of following Him if that is not the case.  If you are announcing these things about your relationship with and to Jesus on your Twitter page, you might want to try harder to represent his ideals appropriately to the public as you use your account.  You make a very poor example for others if you can’t even filter yourself enough to avoid attacking other people for minding their own business and being themselves on their own turf.  Jesus’ aim is to deliver us from sin, not belittle us for it. I have high doubts that he would say to anyone “You cuss, I can’t hang with you because I don’t like foulness.” Instead, I’m thinking He would show that person love and compassion.  Do you think he would publicly humiliate a person for their sins?  Personally, I don’t.  So get a clue.  You’re not perfect, we get it.  But I’m calling bullshit on you this time, because it needs to be done.  Even your apology to Leslie (mrsflinger) is a cop out – you apologized “if you offended her” – you didn’t apologize for belittling her.  And you claimed she needed to know why you were unfollowing her – as if she needs to change who she is comfortable being so that she doesn’t lose followers.  Some things are more important to people in life than their number of Twitter followers – Leslie is secure in who she is, and she doesn’t need your “for FYI” comments.  But if you really feel the need in the future to connect with someone and let them know why you are unfollowing, I suggest you email them.  Most of us have really easy to find contact information on our websites.  And that’s probably the decent thing to do.  I’m thinking it’s likely what a modern day Jesus would do.  So your challenge continues – and yes it IS your mission, unless you were lying on your Twitter bio.  So I hope you’re better able to accomplish it today, tomorrow, and every day after, if that is what you find fulfilling.

Peace.

So that’s that.  And I feel better having gotten it out.

But I saved something delicious for you to end with.

There’s a Tweet Bot that auto-retweets certain user tweets – somehow I ended up on this list. (I know, I’m SO HONORED. Yeah.) Well.  It retweeted my earlier messages to Keyboard Whacker.

And? She actually talked back to it.

from Keyboard Whacker

from @SarcasticMomLC

The End.

Thoughts?

Yes, I am a dumbass. Now let’s pretend this isn’t over a month old.

Here’s a story I never shared with you… b/c I forgot to post it.  Wow, can anyone say, “dumbass?”  Well, would you still like to read it?  Hope so!

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

In the spirit of reveling in the good, the night I was writing this post, I decided to take Braden to the park the next day, watch him run around, and just generally enjoy being outside.

Does it sometimes seem like just when you’re trying to turn the corner on depression, the shit rains down on you?

Braden had a horrible night sleeping that night. I was just saying to John last Tuesday night that Braden has been sleeping so well for some time now, and even though his sleep habits used to be awful with crying and carrying on all night, now he does wonderfully!

News flash: JUST DON’T EVER SAY THINGS LIKE THAT OUT LOUD!

The very next night (the night I decided to be all happy and travel to the park the next day) he took hours to go to sleep. I had to hold him 3 times and spend over an hour in his room after his original bedtime, to help him go down. Then he got up at 2:30 and decided it must be morning.

WHAT THE HELL? He never does that!

Oh, hai, did I mention that I had not gone to bed yet at that point (yes I’m an idiot)?

I tried taking him to my bed when he wouldn’t go back to sleep in his. For an hour and a half we played the, “Sleep For 10 Minutes, Then Play for 15 Minutes” game over and over again. As cute as it was, by 4am, NO ONE IS CUTE TO ME IF I’M STILL AWAKE AGAINST MY WILL. So I took him back to his crib.

Luckily, he only screamed for a little while.

The next morning, I was shitasstired.

I reminded myself to be grateful and to go enjoy the day anyway. So we did breakfast, and I packed up things we would need at the park. My face only dragged on the floor 93% of the time while I was rounding things up.

Coffee is good, but it does not work miracles. Drugs are bad, but I would have snorted cocaine that day.

It seemed like everything was going very well. Braden was fed and dressed, I was fed and dressed. The bag was packed. Suddenly, I realized it was hot out and I needed to pack water for the boy.

I put the diaper bag in the car, and came back to get water. Braden rounded the corner into the kitchen and saw the door to the garage open. I closed it. HE DIED A SLOW AND HORRIBLE DEATH.

It was LOUD.

Time-Out was had.

During time out it was LOUD. I stood in the kitchen and tried to remember not to curse hatefully.

I also tried to remember not to wish I was dead.  Or deaf.  One letter, either way, it would be quiet.

Once that episode was over, I took the water and the child and we got all situated, snapped, and buckled into the car. While I was buckling Braden into his seat, he pointed to the dome light and gleefully exclaimed, “Iiiiiiigggghhhhttt!!!” Aww. How cute!

I hopped into the front seat and strapped myself in, slamming the door shut.

Key in ignition. Turn.

Nothing.

Blank stare.

Key turn.

Nothing.

Extreme restraint of desire to say pissfuckshitdamnhellmotherfuckercuntlickercocksuckerWHORE!

(And, while I have potty mouth, it’s really not usually that bad.)

From the back seat, “Iiiiiiiiiiggggggtttt!!!” (gleefully)

I looked at the dome light. All the doors were closed. It was still on, dimly. Guess who had GLEEFULLY exclaimed about the light the other day when we were getting OUT of the car, slapping at it and messing with it? Oh, hai, that would be my child, who must have switched it to the CONSTANT ON POSITION right before we got out of the car, unbeknown to me.

Hahaha. I can has dead battery? YUP.

So, jumping way ahead (past me whining on the phone to John) and the AAA guy shows up. He was there in no time, he was polite, he juiced my battery in no time. (John, don’t read the next part.) It did not damage my day that he was a really super-hot hispanic guy with a dazzling smile.

(I might kill the car battery on purpose next time? KIDDING! KIDDING!)

The rest of the day was lovely. The park outing was beautiful… even though I forgot everything but the water the second time we loaded up. It didn’t matter. We didn’t need any of it.

We ran and played in the grass. The sun shone down on us.

The world did not end. It went on, and it was even fabulous.

Even though I’ve felt the need to vomit out all that crap up there on you? (Thanks for letting me do that!) I’m choosing to focus on the good stuff, this time.

More baby steps.