And the townspeople were safe once more.

Braden is sick again and that means he’s coughing in that special way that toddlers have which makes you clench up and wait for the inevitable choking sound every.single.time.  Over and over again, I listen to him gag and gasp and make the phlegmy struggling sounds for breath that keep my blood pressure just a little higher than it really ought to be.

Last night he couldn’t sleep, and was pulling out one excuse after another to climb from his bed and yell down the stairs to us.  His pleas for us to turn the music on, then off again, to find his toy car, and to turn on the light were all mingled with whimpers and punctuated by cries and sometimes soft, tired moans.  Every request was just code for, “I need you, please come be with me, I’m feeling poorly and I just can’t be alone tonight.”  Mommy is the ultimate translator – all those words and words and words, but a Mommy can see right through them.  They pour off either side of the real request like oil parting and running this way and that on the surface of turbulent water.

But this night it was not just Mommy to the rescue.  Often Mommy has to be the one who answers the call, who throws her hair over her shoulder and dashes off, valiantly. Mommy is so often the one who is here, so Mommy plays the heroine.  But sometimes I get to fold my cape up for a beat.  I write my story, I speak from my point of view.  But he cuts through my view, too.

Daddy.

He listened to the translation of messages Mommy could hear floating down the stairs.  When Mommy came down after a visit with the little sleep fighter, he heard all the things she said about little boys who are  terribly unable to fall asleep because ohhh, they are just in need of togetherness and tender closeness.  Mommy, who was distraught because of deadlines and projects.  Mommy, who felt torn between work commitments and life priorities.

Daddy saw the worry and frustration on her tired face, and even though he had already done the bath routine and the bedtime routine, he smiled kindly, then set his face and stood up.  He dashed off to go sit with the unwitting mini-villian upstairs, who was really just a little boy making too much noise for his tiny, tired body, until he could be tricked (loved) into falling comfortably asleep.  He went in search of hugs and cuddles that would be stronger and more fierce than coughs and sneezes.

He answered the needs of the boy and the needs of the Mommy, all in a single bound.

I briefly saw his brightly colored cape flap at the corner of the stairwell right before he disappeared from view and I continued to tap at the keys, only momentarily wondering who that masked man was.

I ate snot. I win.

Being sick in Spring is not fun, wonderful, or delightful.

Being sick in Spring while your toddler is also ragingly sick? Well, that’s about as fun as being a balloon animal at a drunk porcupine convention.

And let me add, you have really not LIVED until you have been force-fed a handful of Honey Nut Scooters (generic brand of Cheerios, for you rich assholes) coated in toddler snot. Until you experience this, your soul just has.not.awakened.

I could be wrong though, since my brain is stuck in this mucky haze which is part “I WANT TO KILL YOU ALL RIGHT NOW WITH MY BARE HANDS” (menstrual hag) and part “OMG I AM DYING, I KNOW IT” (pathetic, whiny, sick douche).

I just… well… he has been SO miserable and sad lately. And his nose has been steadily and continuously leaking sick toddler snot in copious amounts. I try to keep up with it, but most of the time he beats me to it. That little hand just darts up and swipes it away.

And while, yes, this is gross, it’s not nearly as disgusting as that tendency some kids have to try mimicking a cow by sticking their tongues on up into the Snot Fest. So, I’m thanking my stars, here, that my kid hasn’t thought of that yet. (We’ll talk about how he licked snot off his fingers another day, okay?)

Anyway, today, he ran into the living room from the kitchen with a handful of his cereal. He made a bee-line for me on the couch, and since I was kind of slumped over towards the floor (yeah, I’m that pathetic) he had full access to my face. Which delighted him, and he just started shoving the cereal into my face.

He had this sparkle in his eyes as he crammed every last piece in my mouth.  Delight was painted across every inch of his face.  There was absolutely no way in the world I could bring myself to stop him.

His little fingers kept going in with the cereal.  I could detect the flavor of sweet, delicious cereal.

As well as the lovely sensation of cold, sticky, wet sick toddler snot.

And I just kept repeating in my head, “It’s okay, you’re going to be okay, just don’t think about it, don’t think about it, it’s going to be okay….”

I ate snot for my kid today.  WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR KID?

Haiku Friday

There’s nothing quite as
crappy as your little one
being really sick.

Crying, whimpering,
headache, fever, pathetic…
a sad little boy.

Sleeping on the hard
floor in his room is no day
at the park either.

We do what me must
to give them comfort, though, right?
Yeah. *hobbles away*

Oh, Those Eyes…

Somehow, those eyes even override the disgustingness that is Crusty Sick Nose.

They also help him get away with crap like this.


Yeah. He can reach stuff on the counters.

Haiku Sick Sucks

I know that kids must
suffer colds, flus, and other
ailments – it’s normal.

But I can’t stand to
see my little Bean so ill…
snotty, whiny, sad.

He coughs, gags, sniffles…
sneezes make his eyes water.
He’s tired, frustrated.

He comes to us and
all he wants is to be held;
cuddles up closely.

His eyes speak to me,
“Mommy, make it stop hurting.”
My heart is breaking.

Hai-This Suc-ku’s

Once upon a time,
our gas bill was very high
and I wrote this post.

Called to complain to
the Property Management.
Something must be wrong!

Owner of this home
didn’t care to make it right.
“Let’s just ignore it!”

We wanted to move.
Instead we turned down the heat,
trying to save cash.

Latest water bill
clued us to the real problem.
And then the gas bill.

This time the gas bill
was a whopping three-fifty.
And from LESS HEATING!

Checked water heater.
OH MY LORD, it is leaking!
Both water and gas!

And, oh my, the mold!
It is being birthed right here,
then coming inside.

This mold in Braden’s
room is growing because of
leak in the heater.

Mold on all windows,
making us sick for a month…
now we know the “why.”

Inform the owner…
“Someone will be out sometime,
for an ESTIMATE.”

But we need help now!
Leaking! Dangerous! COME ON!
But they do not care.

Two days after that,
our hot water is all gone…
check water heater.

Both water and gas
spraying out of the unit.
This is REALLY BAD.

Call and tell the turds
“property being damaged.”
Here within an hour.

“It must be replaced,”
says the contractor who comes.
But then what happens?

They send another.
Owner did not like the first
estimate he got.

So still we’re waiting.
Now owner says “his man” will
fix the old heater.

But this is not good.
It is beyond fixing, and
this is dangerous.

And while we still wait?
We have no hot water here.
Wash dish? Take Bath? NO.

I bet that you can
smell me from where you are now.
I really stink. Yuck.

I look at this shot,
and I long for my shower.
It’s now but a dream.

Oh, yeah, and the mold?
Will cost a lot to clean up.
We doubt it gets done.

Can’t stay here like this!
Our health is compromised, and
that is not okay.

But lease runs through May.
Will they let us out of it?
What do you guys think? :-S

But look at this face.
We will do whatever it
takes to protect him.

We must get out now.
Things might get pretty ugly.
Please send us good vibes.

Haiku: The Wind Cries Pukey

[Anything you ever wanted to ask me? Don't miss your chance - Click Here and leave your questions in the comments. I vow to answer every one. ]

___________

Saturday night I
realized: We’re sick again.
John came home Sunday.

He was set to leave
on Monday. But then a change.
He’d stay through Wednesday!

A loss of money,
but a blessing in that he
could take care of us.

Monday night, the boy
was very restless, needy.
John was at his call.

Braden cried out so
John went to soothe and comfort.
Sick, I stayed in bed.

But, by monitor,
I heard gagging and choking,
struggling to breathe.

Before I could think
I was halfway there, body
propelled to his side.

My kid was trying
to pull a Jimi Hendrix.
Heart attack for me.

Much adrenalin.
Later, while attempting to
rock him back to sleep…

My body trembled.
So much at stake; every
moment is fragile.

How will I ever
Be able to let him go?
This wisdom eludes.

Crackin’ The Whip

Day 2 of Lotus Is Sick & Whiney.

Slept horribly last night. My nose was insanely stuffed up, so my mouth kept dropping open. Apparently, this causes excessive drying of the mouth. That was my guess, anyway, when I woke up and and tried to get some saliva going, only to realize that my tongue was permanently glued to the roof of my mouth. It’s a good thing this isn’t radio, or I’d be sca-rewed.

The next Project Support Beauty in Nature post will go up on Monday, March 10th.

The Breastfeeding and Birth Story Carnivals (mentioned in yesterday’s post) are on. FYI: Bottle Feeders are MORE than welcome to link in with posts about their own decisions for feeding (we did both!). We’re NOT here to judge. We’re here to share and celebrate nurturing and the experiences that resulted, period. Similarly, I’d LOVE to hear Adoption Stories as part of the Birth Story Carnival. I’ll let you know the dates soon. I’ll be sure to give you advanced notice. So Stay Tuned! There’s more to come.

Here’s what we’re doing today:

The Question Game.

I saw Beck do this awhile back, and thought it was cute – thought I might try it eventually. Then I noticed that other people (like Sandy and Secret Agent Mama) were doing it. They seemed to have fun, and I enjoyed reading their answers. And I figure, it’s a good thing to do, at a time when I’m tired and sick… I’ll put YOU to work for a bit!

So, do you have questions for me? Ask away. What do you want to hear about? I’ll let this post simmer and collect whatever questions you may have, and then later, I’ll answer them all.

Besides, what else do you have to do with your time on a Tuesday? Procreate?

Now get to typin’ yer questions!