My Homies
Braden James here again. All I have to do is offer that Mommy can take a nap, and I’m in. This manipulation stuff is WAY too easy. (Case in Point: I’ve just learned that I can give hugs and bat my eyelashes to get out of trouble.)
Recently, I asked some darn fine ladies to tell me a little more about themselves, and they did not disappoint. Further proof that The Womenz love me.
A fellah has to keep up the rels with the ladies… but you never leave out your homies – yer dudez, man.
So, this is a chance for all my dudez to talk a little about what we do best – Cause Trouble.
Guys – Let’s talk about the thing we enjoy most. Driving our parental units NUTS. Outline your best techniques for shattering the minds of your Mommy/Daddy. Tell us the stories of your complete domination of the homestead.
My personal outline (aka The Plan) is HERE.
(You can also see Mommy whining here, here, and here.)
And, in fact, for the past 2 nights, I’ve messed with Daddy’s head BAD. I usually go to sleep for him like a champ. I refused to go to sleep for anyone but Mommy (read: NOT for Daddy) for the past 2 nights.
But you just wait. Just when Mommy’s head is starting to feel all bloated, I’m totally going to spazz on her, too. I’m just waiting for Daddy to hit the road again this weekend, so she won’t have anyone to turn to when I do it. Total Domination. Completely Ruin Her Mind.
That’s what THE PLAN is all about.
I’m callin’ on:
Adam
(*sigh* Mommy stumbled in here and says you better go vote for his Daddy at the Blogger’s Choice Awards… go back to sleep, Mommy!)
Alex
(*SIGH* Mommy won’t leave until I tell you to vote for his Mommy at the Blogger’s Choice Awards, too.)
The “Little Monkeys” (any/all of them!)
The Mayor (His Mommy just told of his awesome Mind Wrecking powers.)
Show me how you dominate The Parents!
For all other Toddlers out there: Even if you were not tagged, but are reading this post:
1) Congratulations on hijacking the computer.
2) Leave a Parental Domination/Mind Destruction tip for fellow Toddlers in comments.
Viva Los Toddlers!
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I am way cooler than Mommy.
That’s right, peoples. This is Braden James. It’s been awhile since I’ve hijacked Mommy’s super-silly-space to talk to you internetz. I see that she has made some improvements. She is still blabbing on and on, though. *sigh*
You are lucky I am here to save you from her for a day. At least she spends a lot of time talking about ME, which is excellent. And if you like that, this will be right up your alley.
If you don’t like that, you are OBVIOUSLY slightly moronic.
Kim tagged me for a Meme, where I’m supposed to tell 8 things about myself, and then tag 8 others to do the same. There are really way more than 8 things that you should know about me, but for now, I’ll just stick to 8, since the doggie is way more fun to play with than you guys, and he’s waiting for me.
1. When I came out of Mommy, I broke the umbilical cord myself. Daddy wanted to cut it, but see, that was between me and Mommy, and I wanted her to know the score right from the start. I am in control around here, and I want my independence. I just need to be held a little sometimes.
2. I enjoy reading books. I have been reading books for ages now. Recently, I decided that reading books is pretty fun to do sometimes, but the more fun thing to do with books is to throw a bunch of them on the floor, pick the coolest one, and then start pushing it across the floor as far as I can, rubbing it in real good. See, I think that eventually, this technique will help me discover a trapdoor to a magical wonderland. It hasn’t worked yet, so I usually end up screaming and crying. Mommy is baffled, but that’s b/c she doesn’t know about the magical wonderland. What a clueless moron.
3. My doggie is the best doggie in the world. He is small so I can grab him, and it’s really easy to lie down on top of him and roll around. He makes funny sounds with his mouth/nose thing. Sometimes he runs really fast (Mommy and Daddy call it “Happy Laps”), and he can also jump high. He always looks so hungry to me so I like to feed him all my crackers and cheese when Mommy’s not looking. He likes to lick my sippy cup. We’re best friends.
4. Airplanes are AWESOME. They fly over my house all the time. Mommy & Daddy aren’t very smart, so I have to point them out and let them know that is an “Ay-tah.” That is special for “airplane.” The cool kids call it that. Mommy & Daddy are not cool.
5. I am a tiny dancer. I can raise the roof with my stomp dance and when I sway side to side all the womenz swoon for me. A few years ago, they would have said that I shake it like a polaroid picture. I do.
6. All food is good, but Applesauce is the BEST food. It would be okay if no one ever ate anything but applesauce.
7. I like to go for long stretches in PCM (Perfect Child Mode) and then kick it up a notch (BAM) by whipping out The Plan. It is really special to sleep well for awhile and then start in on waking up over and over again all night. I am great at this (as are Amy and Alex), and I think I can keep up the switch between PCM and The Plan for at least 17 more years. I will only get better with practice, people.
8. Paci is Love. Nuff’ said.
Because I love the womenz, I am going to tag 8 hot ladies out there that I want to know more about.
Rooster Girl
The Baby
Pie
Ella
Hannah
Miss A
Ella
Little One
Come on, ladies… you know you can’t resist me.
With Love,
Braden James Carroll
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