Tena | i am lotus

My Guest Post (clever title, eh?)

Posted by Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom in Guest Post on June 12, 2008

Much trepidation has gone into what I should write as a guest post. You see, little ol’ me, I’m still green around the edges on this blogging thing. It was only a few short weeks ago, I saw a blog titled “Sarcastic Mom”. Hmmm…I’m a mom, a mom who loves her kids, a stay at home mom, but I’m also a bit sarcastic so, naturally, I’m intrigued. It wasn’t until her pornographic longing of a vacuum cleaner that I knew she was my type of gal.

I have visited each day since. In that time, I have witnessed lots of skin ( 5 O’clock shadow pits, backfat and multiple baby butt shots), a battle against addiction ( ”The Evil One”), and heartbreak (missing Austin, TX). I was hooked, who wouldn’t be? So who was I to refuse the request for a picture of my BEWBS? The formerly size A’s that were transformed time and time and time and time again by pregnancy and failed nursing, then failed nursing again, then successful nursing (cha- ching!) for 6 months and more successful nursing (cha-cha-ching) for 13 months more surely wouldn’t stand a chance! Little did I know that my Victoria Secret Bio Fit Bra would assist to lift me and the girls to a respectable 3rd place finish with 73 suckers , I mean, voters who chose me! Me and my almost 36 year old BEWBS were delighted and flattered by our showing at the polls. Imagine my delight when Lotus informs me that it doesn’t end there! What, there’s more? I get to guest post, wow!

Cue anxiety. Again, I’m new to this. It’s something I do by myself -for myself (blogging, you pervs!)- secret, you could say. I don’t have what you big shots would call a reader ship. I have a couple of friendly people that I have met out here in the blogosphere that occasionally stop by- more like a reader row boat. So getting to guest post on a cruise liner like ”Sarcastic Mom’s” is truly an honor and one that must be researched.

So, I have been scouring the archives and learning all about the complexity that is Lotus and what she is all about. The beautiful love story of long-haired ponytail rocker boy meets crazy party girl ONLINE, boy knocks up girl and adorable exhibitionist baby comes from girl’s loins- you can’t make that shit up, that’s stuff movies are made of! Add in the amazing photographs of beautiful scenery and a fecal eating canine, the tear jerking depiction of a loss, battle with depression, and a tree hugger, to boot- this girl is oozing humanity!

The good news: I have learned that I love her even more. The bad news: I never thought of the earth- shattering subject for my illustrious guest post!

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Tena can usually be seen sharing her real thoughts and pleasing herself *snicker* through blogging at My Therapy. Go say hi!

Guest Post, My Therapy, Tena

17 Comments

The BEWBS Just Keep Showing Up

Posted by Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom in Awards, BEWBS/The Rack on June 10, 2008

The Travelling T-Shirt is on the way to its next Bloggie Stop: Kaiser Mommy.

Dawn is the owner of the Fabulous Rack (BEWBS!) that all of you wonderful readers voted as best.

CONGRATULATIONS, DAWN!

Official Acceptance Speech From Dawn:

I’d like to thank the academy of wonderful Sarcasticmom.com readers who voted for me, my husband for always offering to hold mah bewbs for me when the load is too heavy, my son for encouraging me to carry him all the time to build my arm muscles, I’d like to thank God for um … blessing? …. me with porn star dimensions naturally, I’d like to thank contestant #12 for giving me such a run for my money – I voted for you, you HAWT thing! and finally, (music plays …) I’d like to thank my Panache Tango II Superbra for supporting me all these years! Thank You All!

Let’s not forget our 2 fabulous runners up! Congratulations, BEWBS Ladies!

Second Place: Nikki, Secrets of a Black Heart

Third Place: Tena, My Therapy

Now, I may be a total assbrain for so many reasons, they would not even fit on this page to think it would be a prize for someone to guest post here. But I’d love to harass these three fine ladies into guest posting… you know, so that we can get to know them a bit more now that you have all given them accolades for their, um, obvious endowments.

What do you say? Let’s get to know the BRAINS behind our winning BEWBS!

An honorable mention goes to a sweet, sassy, and silly friend of mine, Angie, who didn’t want to be considered since she’s not officially blogging yet. Instead, she just wanted to send me her Bouncin’ Preggo BEWBS just for fun. Everyone needs a friend like that, right?

Here’s her Rack:

On to the next bit of BEWBS Business. (Have you noticed yet how much I like to type, “BEWBS?”)

There was a slight BEWB Mishap in putting together the Best Chest Voting Post. EEEEK!

These BEWBS got lost in my inbox!

And these BEWBS got eaten by my website’s Spam Filter!

It is SO very sad when BEWBS lose their way. *sniff*

In order to make it up to these BEWBS, I’m offering “You Didn’t Even Have A Chance, And That’s Not Fair!” consolation prizes to their owners. Each will receive a Brookstone Floating Photo Frame.

How does it work?

It’s Magic, Dummy. Just like a fine rack.

Last bit of BEWBS Business (for now):

These BEWBS…

…made me laugh so.very.much.

And the fabulous woman (”Mr. Lady“) who owns them has so many creative words of wonderfulness and hilarity on a regular basis that if you’re not subscribed to her website, you are missing out, and should go over there and do that. Now.

For veritably choking me with laughter when I saw her last minute entry into the Best Chest Contest, I am going to give the owner of those BEWBS what she needs. A T-Shirt.

A John Carroll T-Shirt.

Kudos to the designer