San Antonio Photowalk Saturday December 17th!

Join the lovely Jackie Burroughs Anderson and myself as we host a Photowalk on the famous and beautiful Riverwalk in San Antonio. Details and RSVP on Plancast here: http://plancast.com/p/8vl1

When: Saturday, December 17, 4-8PM
Where: La Vallita & Riverwalk, San Antonio
Meet: La Vallita Fountain (noted on map)

Photowalk Map: http://goo.gl/rNbiw

We’ll take photos around La Vallita as we make our way to the Riverwalk and then follow that, photographing the Fiesta de las Luminarias. When we wrap up, we can all have dinner/drinks at one of the fabulous restaurants in the area.

Anyone and everyone is welcome. Bring your DSLR, point and shoot, or camera phone and come have fun with us! There should be a lot of holiday flavor and good times will be had by all. We hope to see you all there!

Texas, where a skull is a lovely addition to your flower bed.

Just in case any of you didn’t REALLY believe that I moved back to Texas.

Nope. No damn rednecks over here. Nuh-uh.

There are people who suffer outrageous tragedy and somehow they pick themselves up and not only survive, but shine. They become an inspiration to others. They advocate, support, march on.


Live.

They live, not without pain, not without sadness, but with a beauty in the face of tragedy that says to others that they still see good in life.  That there is still occasion for happiness, and that laughter is healing.  They help other people to believe.  To Hope.

And when their long-awaited dreams are realized, those who love them cannot stand by and just let that pass without notice.

There must be rejoicing amongst all. Lifting up. Celebration!

And, because I admire and adore her, I really wanted to join this celebration, donate a little to the cause, and congratulate Tanis on this incredibly joyous and long overdue occasion. But when I read the email and post from Catherine (Her Bad Mother His Bad Redneck Aunty) and it became clear that, in order to participate, I had to talk about the ways in which I’m a “Redneck Mommy?”

Well, I got really depressed. Because there really is nothing for me to talk about along those lines! Total bummer, man.

I mean, we are just totally not rednecks over here. You know, it’s not as if I grew up in a town that was so small it had to join with another, nearby town just to have enough people to form a high-school. Or as if that high-school actually had goats in its proverbial backyard. *cough*

And it’s not as if there were corn fields right behind the house I grew up in, and my little brother and I played in an old, falling down barn, building forts out of discarded tobacco-drying sticks. I never built a fire right up against the old house we rented that was built in the 1800s and had no central air.

We so totally did not play on old stumps in our backyard and have a pile of sand there, too, that our cats absolutely did not shit in and then we played in it some more anyway.  Seriously.  Didn’t.

I never once stepped in actual cow manure while playing at a friend’s house!  We did not burn garbage in an old water well on the back of the property we lived on.  And I have no idea what it’s like to watch my mother pluck the feathers out of a freshly slaughtered chicken.

NOPE.

And my husband is totally not a redneck, either! He is like, WAY more Not A Redneck than me, even! He doesn’t play country music for a living, and he has most certainly never, ever said as a part of regular conversation, without a hint of joking intended, the words “over yonder,” or “them are.”

Or “here in a little bit” to mean, “in a little while.”

Definitely not.

He is not from Texas.  He does not refer to our dog as a “turd-hound.”  He has never danced the Two-Step or gone hunting a day in his life.

(Interjection:  If you ask him, he will tell you that dancing the Two-Step is NOT “redneck.”  It’s “country.”  Then, when you ask him what’s the difference between “redneck” and “country?” he will fidget and say, “I don’t know.”  And you will point and laugh at him, and mutter, “Sooo writing about this.”)

He has never crapped in the woods and then wiped his ass with a ROCK.  And he doesn’t speak with a drawl.  Ever.

And this? It is SO TOTALLY NOT HIM.

Photo is property of John Owens, used by permission.
Facebook is a wonderful thing. Heh.

Nuh-uh. Nope.  Totally not him wearing that bolo tie.

Also?

I do not go for days without a shower or actually like the taste of Ramen Noodles. I do not go around barefoot all the time, even in the dead of winter. I have never cut my own hair. Or peed on the side of the road. Or drank the shiznite out of some Koolaid and walked away with a Sweet-Ass Red Mustache. Or used a hoe, on a garden, and not the kind of ho you’re thinking of either, because I’ve totally used the hell of out them hos.

Never worn a “wife-beater” tank top with bra straps showing under it.

If I had to put together a cowboy outfit, I’d be screwed, because it’s not as if there are cowboy boots or hats easily accessible around here. *shakes head back and forth vehemently* And there really are no guns here. Especially not a shotgun wrapped in a damn rug because we’re too lazy to figure out a better way to store it. Oh no.

Our Christmas tree is soooo not laying down in our yard, all dried out and crusty, begging to be hauled away from the reach of disapproving eyes.

WE DO NOT STILL HAVE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS ON A PORCH COLUMN BY THE FRONT DOOR.

Additionally, I never say, “ya’ll.”

My child is not, in fact, running around in nothing but a diaper, right at this very moment, banging a piece of metal he broke off of the wall-mounted toilet paper dispenser up against the living room wall. To say that was the case would be a total fabrication of the truth. Never happened.

And bah Gawd, we doan be a’ havin’ a rickety, hand-raised metal fence out tha back o’ the house tah keep tha dawg and tha youngin’ in, walk ’round half nekid in front o’ them thar open winders, and most definly doan never scratch ar hind quarters or go a’pickin’ ar noses in public!

That just ain’t decent, folks!

We are a strictly, 100% Non-Redneck Family around here.

So, I must regretfully decline taking part in this fabulous celebration for Tanis.  As I am just not able to join with the others in proper fashion, you see.

So happy for you, Tanis. My Totally Not Redneck Family and I are rejoicing for you and yours.
Heart.Bursting.
Rainbows.Unicorns.Glitter. You know.
<3

What’s love got to do with it? Nothing, it’s a hurricane.

I’m laughing right now b/c several of you yesterday were all, “Wuhh?  Why are you even ONLINE, YOU DUMMY?! You are supposed to be taking time off!”

The post from a few days ago about my lonely desk chair was indicating LESS time online.  It’s pretty much impossible for me to go completely offline right now.  Too many commitments call for my attention, loves.

As I type this, the Man o’ The House is on the road again, having left a few hours ago.  (And having left me with some midnight delight. Heh.  I’m gonna catch hell for that one.)  Not to worry, though!  This time instead of being gone for 3 weeks, he’ll be home in a short 2 days.  Can I get a Hell Yeah?  HELL YEAH!

Also, as I type this, I’m thinking of everyone with a home on the coast of Texas.  We called Austin our home just a few years back, and if you recall, I still miss it something awful.  Right now, Ike is beating the hell out of the Houston area, and John has quite a bit of family there.  Some of them evacuated.  Some didn’t.  We’re praying for them, and for any else who are there… and all those who have homes and loved ones there, as well.

Ike, go back to beating on Tina, okay?  Stop Messin’ with Texas.

Luckily, I was not forced to Monster Hurl.

First, this happened.

Fast-forward two and a half years… quite a lot happened during that time, and I’m sure I’ll find the time to tell many stories about those two and a half years, but today I’m telling you about the day I said, “I Do.”  So just insert lots of courting, romance, too much drinking, and just enough laughter and silliness.

I’ve never wanted a big ring, a big dress, or a big wedding.  It’s fine if those were/are your dreams – we are all different, and that’s what makes life interesting.  For me, all of those things were just never part of my fantasy about what would make me happy.

In fact, the idea of a big wedding really just made me want to throw up in my mouth a little.  No, scratch that… it made me want to Monster Hurl.

As it happened, I was not to be disappointed, and the match between John and myself extended to the lack of desire for pomp and circumstance. 

We looked around in our area for awhile, and decided on a lovely park, which was described as one of the most isolated and untouched parks in Travis County, and it did not disappoint.  With 2 miles of shoreline along beautiful Lake Travis, we knew when we saw it the first time that it was where we’d come the day we wanted to unite.

How laid back was our wedding?  Just to give you an idea… my dress, purchased from Goodwill, was $7.99 plus tax.  The dress shoes John wore that day cost more than my wedding dress.   The bouquet?  I made it the morning of our wedding from some flowers I picked up at the HEB grocery store right by our house, tied with some craft ribbon I had.  I matched it to the flowers on my dress.

We told our pastor to please dress casually – he did not disappoint, and wore one of his signature Hawaiian shirts for the occasion (I could not love him more for that).  We told him, and our two witnesses (Elaine, a woman who helped me prepare for my baptism the previous year, and Joan, our pre-marital counselor) to meet us at the entrance to the park on Sunday, March 28, 2004.

When everyone was present, we all loaded up into John’s truck and headed in.  At $8 per vehicle, it was a pretty cheap rate for our Wedding Site.

Once inside, we made our way to the spot we had previously chosen, right along the banks of Lake Travis.

One problem.  The forecast was for rain, and it was clouding and graying up rather nicely.  The clouds above us were ugly and threatening, and we were anxious and nervous.

Our Pastor took his place, and, with our witnesses behind us, we stepped up to him. 

He began the service.

Suddenly, like some crazy fairy-tale, the clouds directly above us shifted and opened up, revealing a section of blue sky and the sun, which shone down upon us, pushing against the clouds still bordering.

As that light and warmth hit us, I knew again that my heart had found the right place to live.

I will never forget that day and the promises I made.  The way I felt and how hard it was for both of us just to speak our vows without crying like blubbering idiots.

Or how badly my highlights had grown out and that my hair was only a little bit longer than John’s.

Or how beautiful the man at my side was, inside and out.

And how, even when the sun isn’t shining on us, he is still where I want my heart to live.

Hot

Theme for November 24th, 2007: “Hot.”

Hot, as in the jalapeno peppers I had planted in my garden in Austin, TX back in 2005. Hot, as in this picture was taken in NOVEMBER and my garden was still producing bounty! Why? Because there is no fall (or spring) in TX. Only SUMMER, a week of winter, and then SUMMER again.

My lovely garden – how I miss thee! I had green beans, banana peppers, bell peppers, tomatoes, eggplants (3 varieties), zucchini, and cantaloupes (in addition to the jalapenos). Had just planted a lime tree, too. And it survived the “winter!” I was seriously going to never do without a lime in my Coronas again, my friends.

But times change. John decided he needed to leave his Cory Morrow gig (*sniff* I miss you, Cory!) in TX and went to play for Chris Cagle again, based out of TN. For the entire first trimester of my pregnancy with Braden, I saw him about 3 or 4 times. In fact, I had to call him on February 14, 2006 to tell him we were going to have a baby. Best Valentine I’ve ever delivered, shittiest method of delivery.

He was basically living in TN and I in TX from Jan – April 2006. It’s hard to be a nauseous Preggie without someone else to torture and make miserable! My poor employees… I can only imagine how I must have taken it out on them emotionally. Sorry, guys!

In May 2006 we moved to TN, into an apartment, while we tried desperately to sell our home in TX. It took FOREVER and a shortsale to get rid of it. Bleah. Living in an apartment after you’ve owned a house SUCKS, btw.

After living with the asshole loud stair walkers, idiots who smoke in a pregnant lady’s face at the pool, drug dealers in the parking lot, mega loud horse-laugher upstairs, package losing mf’ers in the office, and rampant brown recluse spiders in our unit for a whole year, we moved out of that apartment and into a (rental) house in May of 2007. (And yes, I know what they say about HOUSE RENTERS.)

We are just insanely happy lately. We love living in a house again. There’s a swing for Braden in a tree in the backyard. And come spring there will be a sandbox for him out there as well.

And a new vegetable garden for Momma.

Wanna see more Photo Hunt?