Screamie McGee

Braden still hasn’t stopped screaming his head off. In fact, he seems to have stepped it up a notch, and added another lovely behavior: The Fake Cry. “Wah-huh, Wah-huh, Wah-huh…*pant, pant, hyperventilate* Wah-huh, Wah-huh, Wah-huh!!!” So, there’s that now, too, along with The Shriek.

We tried and failed miserably at Operation Ignore The Shriek. Because, DUDE. You can’t ignore The Shriek. The Shriek demands your attention! The Shriek calls you to action!

The Shriek? MAKES YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF.

Ignore it. Mmm, hm. How do you ignore the fact that you are standing in the kitchen, holding an ice pick up to your temple, and you have no idea how you got there? Huh?

I’ve started time-outs with Braden recently. Oh, wow. THAT is fun. They really seem to diffuse his craptastic behavior for awhile, but that’s after I have to watch him cry about being in time-out. YUCK. And let’s not forget that it’s all about me, so that sucks, right? Hah.

But seriously, the screaming has to go.

I have nightmares where my son’s mouth is fused to my ear, and The Shriek is on a never-ending loop. And there’s blood coming out of my other ear, my eyes have popped out of my face, and my hands are scratching down my cheeks, nails leaving behind long, deep gouges. What? That’s not at all psycho. Stop looking at me like that.

But, does he really need his vocal chords? I mean, kids learn sign language pretty quickly, right???

Of course, he also does some loud things that are really cute… so, hm.

I guess I’ll let him keep them.

For now.