He gives me the best view, even with finger smudges constantly on the lens.

Today’s Photohunt Theme is “View”

How is it that every theme has my mind swirling in so many directions, but I always come back to the littlest man in my life who, somehow, always finds a way to be the biggest part of my heart?  I guess I just answered my question, at the same time that I was asking it.

View.

Everything about “my view” is impacted, constantly changing, and challenged daily by my son.  This little guy who amazes me, challenges me, tests me…

This whole person in a super small package who believes every word I say, rarely doubts me, looks to me for what to think and feel, who is amazed when I can do something interesting…

This complex work of art that was a tiny helpless infant, is now a little boy, and who will become a grown man (far too quickly, probably in the virtual blink of an eye)… he is my view of the world now.

He is the filter that colors my world.  He is the compass that guides my direction.

He makes me rethink all the things I think I think.  Sounds weird – but you get it, right?

I’m prompted by him to question the way I have seen, see, and will see everything that passes through my visual, mental, and emotional scope.

I have changed because of him, never in spite of him.  I have changed in many ways for myself… in ways that are ultimately so that I will be “better,” for him!

My view of myself has even changed because of him.  He’s knocked me down several pegs, for sure (which is really not a bad thing).  Kids have a way of making you feel like a complete and utter dumbass laying bare your faults.  They have a way of exposing your pride and forcing you to halve it.

But he’s also taught me to love myself more. He’s shown me the parts of me that are good – things I couldn’t see, or maybe wouldn’t see.

Sometimes it’s really deep and complex – quiet moments and warm embraces full of meaning and feeling…  Lessons we’re unfolding together between us.

At other times it’s seemingly simple, and on the surface, a casual observer would never notice the depth of the emotional exchange that is occurring between us.

Tonight, as I was combing through Braden’s wet hair after his bath, he was looking at animals in a little book.  There he sat, on the top of his dresser, on a well-worn diaper  cushion, in his cute little pajamas, just pouring through that book, calling out names of things.  I was combing through his hair, questioning him about the sounds animals make after he named each one.  He got to “squirrel,” and when I asked, there was a silence.  Then he barked like a dog. (snicker)

“No, no,” I said.  “A squirrel says *insert chattering little squirrel sound that I can’t figure out how to spell here*.”  As I made the sound I moved my face around in front of his, and made eye contact with him and he tilted his head up and looked at me.

If you could have seen the amazement, the adoration, respect, love and awe that his eyes poured into mine… for such a small thing…

Well, you’d know the view from here is more than good enough for me.

And the more I focus on the view right now the less I care about anything else.