I think the mayo was spoiled or something…

So, if you came by my website sometime on January 2nd, you probably got the feeling that something was not quite right.

You were given that strange feeling either by the huge black background and prominent red scorpion on the front page, the pictures of crying children and declaration to stop the killing in Palestine, or the approximately eleventy-million popup windows that tried to open so your computer could be infected with viral slime.

I mean, I’m just guessing.  It could have been something else.  Maybe you just ate a bad sandwich that day.

Hoping that the new year will bring with it change for the better is not met well with getting online for the first time in over 24 hours only to find that your site has been COMPLETELY hacked and replaced.

I almost threw up.  I cried.  I thought about just shutting down the website forever.  Seriously.

I climbed the walls.  I was VERY ANGRY.

I Twittered like crazy.  Remember the other day when I said how great Twitter is?  PEOPLE, TWITTER IS GAAAAHHHH-RATE.  I found help from people there!  The site is back up. Security measures have been taken, and more are being researched/planned/undertaken.

I wanted to apologize to anyone who experienced any inconvenience because of what happened.  I mean, it really wasn’t my fault (I didn’t make that bad sandwich you ate, yo), but I still feel pretty bad that the ugly happened on my turf, ya know?

I’m throwing out that bad mayo, and I’m hoping you never get a rotten sandwich here again.

Can we still be friends? 

With a Little Help from My Friends

My mojo read my post yesterday, and she sent me a really bitchy text message:

“Duh, there are lots of really great bloggers around you who might be willing to help you out a little bit until I feel like coming home.”

And, darn that hag, but she’s always right. She’s got the groove like that.

So I asked around a bit yesterday (do you guys realize just how freaking great Twitter is?), and it looks like some really great people are going to help me get through this, while keeping you all quite pleasantly entertained. Each of them is simply fabulous in his/her own way. And I am immeasurably honored and delighted that each of them said yes when I asked them if they’d guest post for me sometime in January.

So, as I bounce around trying to find my motivation, and hammer my way back to producing content I feel like showing you guys, there will be some amazing guest posts here, from those other bloggers.

If you’d like a sneak peek at who’s going to be popping in sometime during January, check the sidebar. I’ll be adding a list of them there as they sign on to guest post.

I’ll still be in and out, making sure you don’t forget all about me in the presence of real talent posting here and there throughout January. Because, let’s face it: Mojo or Nojo, I will have things I need to say.  (That whole “mouthy” thing.)

But they’ll be filling in the gaps I would have otherwise been leaving while mired in the Muck of Blah.

They’re giving to me (and you) of their minds and their time. That’s the most sincere gift you can give a person, quite frankly. I am thankful to them.

And I know you are all in for a treat. I hope you enjoy each post. I know I will.

But how the hell my mojo even got a cell phone is beyond me.

And it’s going to be bothering me for some time.

Where I ramble on and lose your interest.

(If your eyes glaze halfway through, at least read the last bit, okay?  Pinky swear you will.)

So, I wanted to make a clarification after yesterday’s post.

No one emailed me or commented anything to move me to do so, btw.  I just tumble things around in my head a lot, and sometimes lots of things occur to me about what I’ve said that did not originally ocurr to me.  Okay, sometimes?  ALL the time.

Call me slow on the uptake, or something.  Just don’t call me, “Fluffly McNutterButter.”  Don’t ask.  Just don’t call me that.

I wanted to make sure that people understand that I really do love being a mother.  I am not committing myself to making my family suffer so that I can do this writing/blogging thing. 

[The only thing I would willingly make my family suffer for is a free Dyson.  I'd strap their asses to a medievel torture rack for one.  Or railroad ties.  Or dangle them from a balcony in front ot the media.  You know, anything incredibly dangerous and irresponsibly insane.  DYSON PEOPLE, are you paying ANY attention to me yet?!]

In no way am I saying, “I’m willing to deny Braden the time with me that he needs, because I just feel like hangin’ out over here being selfish and stuff with my keyboard and typish thingies and my digital camera whatsidoogie.”  And somehow, I feel the need to blow a valley-girlesque bubblegum bubble and pop it with my cherry red press-on nails afer the way I just typed the previous quote.  But I have neither bubble gum nor press-on nails, so I’m gonna have to miss out on that for now.

If I did think, for one minute, that writing for this website, or any other, was doing detriment to Braden as a person, or harming our family, I would drop off The Mighty Interwebs.  In a heartbeat.  But honestly, I just don’t think that’s the case.  Not here, anyway.  So that’s not what’s happening.

What I am going to be doing is enlisting John to help me carve out some specific time to work on things of the “me” variety.  I’ve been trying really hard to juggle everything on my own, and what has ended up happening is a lot of not sleeping very much and letting myself get run down.  Generally, I’ve been staying up very late to work on things around here, and frankly, that just makes me a crappy mother, because it shortens my fuse considerably.  I need to be gettin’ my ass in bed at an hour that would make any grandma proud.

All apologies to any Rock’nRoll Grandmas who might have been offended by that last statement.

Also, a couple of you made reference to the “job” I referred to in yesterday’s post.  I wanted to point out that I wasn’t talking about a “real” job so much as I was talking about this website.  It’s my “not really paid” job (unless you count the ad revenue, and really, that ain’t sendin’ Braden to college, ya dig?)… but it’s a job, because I put myself on a schedule and I expect a certain level of performance from myself.  Does that make sense?  Not that I make it unpleasant by doing that, because it’s still my website and I can do/write/say/post/etc anything I want.  That’s liberating.  But expecting a certain standard of things (stop laughing at me for saying I have standards) from myself here also makes this something to me that is important, and not just a plaything.

And that means something to me, inside.  Ya dig?  It’s like what a “real” job does for your psyche.

That being said?  I do have a couple of fun new gigs starting up, thank you so much for asking! :-P  Neither is a paying gig, either.  Either I’m a glutton for punishment, an Attention Whore, or I really do enjoy this whole “writing thing.”  You decide.

So…

I’m officially one of four contributing authors on a new ”Moms” column, “From the Mouths of Babes,” at Quirkee.com.  Please check the website, and the column, out.  There are great writers and cartoonists there, and quality content you are bound to enjoy!  I’ll be publishing a piece there every fourth Thursday (starting THIS Thursday!).  On other Thursdays, you’ll find great stuff on our column by the lovely and talented ”Babes,” Piper, Kadi, and dKaye, as well as many other articles and interesting content across the board on the website.

I’m also on the cusp of being a contributing author for Deep South Moms, a blog that is part of the Silicon Valley Moms Group.  The site abounds with amazing women writers, as do the other blogs in the group.  Lovelies you’ll find contributing at DSM include the ladies of Queen of Shake-Shake, BlondeMomBlog, Milkbreath & Margaritas, Mommy Needs Coffee and many more.  There is definitely a “tall glass of southern sass” being served up there daily.  So mosey on over yonder, ya’ll, take a load off and have a look’see.

 

So, there ya have it.  Much more than you wanted to read about me and my thoughts, dreams, and plans on a random Tuesday.

What’s up in your life this lovely Tuesday, eh?