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52 comments


  • I’m crying just reading this.
    Your friends are a reflection of you, and Lotus, she sounds like an amazing person and friend.
    you are truly blessed and I believe you are being utilized for a purpose beyond our understanding.
    Thank you for sharing this, and thank you to Jenny for being brave and wonderful enough to write this and allow you to share it.

    rachels last blog post..What A Difference a Year Makes

    August 13, 2008
  • There are times when kids will make it hard. My kids do that, from time to time. But I read you EVERY day. And I see Braden and he makes me remember when my boys were MY Bradens.

    And I see you when you ache for another child. And I hear you when you mourn your recent loss. We’ve been through all of that, too.

    But you make me remember my boys when they were babies.

    I wish I could be as much comfort to you, as you are to me.

    lceels last blog post..One buff mama

    August 13, 2008
  • Holy Crap!! I’m First. No caps. No requests for pictures of THE RACK. I’m just feeling so cool right now. I am first.

    lceels last blog post..One buff mama

    August 13, 2008
  • Wait. Where did that other comment come from? It wasn’t there before!!! Foul!! I cry Foul!!!

    and i’m not first anymore *sniff* *whine* *SOB*

    lceels last blog post..One buff mama

    August 13, 2008
  • I am crying and nodding too. For real..here..see those tears?

    I have to sometimes make the effort to thank God for all the blessings I DO have instead of cursing God for the blessings I don’t have.

    Some days are much easier than others.

    Just Jinnys last blog post..Sleepy Beauty..

    August 13, 2008
  • Ashley @ mrs007.net

    Don’t you just love it when someone says the right thing at the right time?

    Ashley @ mrs007.nets last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Kisses

    August 13, 2008
  • That is the most beautiful piece of unsolicited advice I’ve ever read! Thank you for sharing it.

    Cassandra Raes last blog post..Funeral for a Flower {part 3}

    August 13, 2008
  • Beautiful. And so true. Thank you for sharing this…

    Tracys last blog post..Numb

    August 13, 2008
  • Anna Ellis

    Oh Lotus… you do have so many things to be thankful for. I was just weeping as I read that. Realizing myself, I really do have things to be thankful for.

    Braden is a healthy handsome little boy. He is a miracle. William is a healthy handsome little boy. He is a miracle as well.

    I’m going to pray for you tonight Lotus. I will pray that the next pregnancy go smooth and with out any complications, cause you deserve yet another miracle.

    We Love you.

    August 13, 2008
  • Now THAT is a good friend. And smart. Hugs to you (and her)

    pgoodnesss last blog post..meh

    August 13, 2008
  • I try to live by a simple rule; Never mourn for what I’ve lost, be grateful for what I’ve had.

    Your friend is a good egg. Keep her close.

    August 13, 2008
  • Wow, what words. What a friend. I will try really,really hard to remember this when my boys are running wild breaking lamps in the house. Truly, the dirt and noise beats the alternative. Thanks for the reminder.

    August 13, 2008
  • Wow. I teared up reading this.

    What she wrote was very compelling and has a powerful message. It is something I always try to remind myself of when things get tough with Aidan or when life in general gets tough.

    There will be many bumps in the road and many wrong turns made, but I have to realize that it’s the journey I am destined to make, whatever the outcome may be.

    Just try to relax and let fate take the wheel.

    A Jill of All Tradess last blog post..Project Support Beauty in Nature

    August 13, 2008
  • I’m not crying. (Guess I’m just a hardass; aren’t you proud of me?!) But seriously, this is a beautiful post. Sounds like your friend is someone else to be thankful for…

    Half-Past Kissin’ Times last blog post..Saving Face

    August 13, 2008
  • What a great friend. And she’s so right…

    Elaines last blog post..Money-Saving Tip {tee hee}

    August 13, 2008
  • I’m going to have to say that is one of the best answers I have ever read. Great job to your friend. And that is a friend indeed!

    August 13, 2008
  • Sarah

    Your friend is very smart, caring and loving. I’m glad that she let you share her email with us all. We all need to be reminded to count our blessings and be happy with what God has already graced us with. Me included. Thanks for the reminder! <3

    Sarahs last blog post..Things I have

    August 14, 2008
  • I say little on this subject to you for my own good reasons, and I am glad your friend said some of it. I just deleted the whole long ass rest of what I was going to say – doesn’t matter. Please just go hug the man and child that you do have in your life knowing that they are blessings. That is all.

    Maggie’s Minds last blog post..Columbia River Gorge-ous-ness

    August 14, 2008
  • Oh honey … I hate that you are dealing with this. I can honestly HONESTLY say that I completely understand – I lost mine around the same time you lost yours.

    It’s true. Baby steps. I have a friend that just found out she’s pregnant and had her very first ultrasound. She didn’t want to “bore” her LiveJournal friends with the picture so she didn’t post it. I told her that ultrasounds are so not boring – they are wonderful! I have three baby showers to go to in the next 2 months – and I am a little wistful, although obviously happy for my friends. I just wish that instead of losing 10lbs in the past month and walking past the teeny-tiny baby clothes that had been pulled out of the attic for no reason I could be not only celebrating the impending arrival of their babies – but also my own.

    I just have to keep reminding myself that God has a plan. He’s got it all worked out and He would not give me (or you) something to deal with that you can’t handle.

    Hold Braden close and keep taking those wonderful photos. Someday, when it’s your time, you will have another to photograph.

    Christines last blog post..Guess What Everyone!

    August 14, 2008
  • Lotus this was me over the past 16 years. I never got that 2nd child and I mourned it, fretted over it, hated it but then I got my answer times two. Two little grandchildren who make my life worth living. There will be an answer let it be!! :)
    HUGS

    Special Ks last blog post..I don’t deserve this!

    August 14, 2008
  • Amazing all the wonderful things around us every single day to be thankful for, isn’t it? All we have to do is open our eyes and our hearts to see them. Great advice from Jenny. (((((hugs)))))

    xxoo
    ~A

    Athenas last blog post..Green Life

    August 14, 2008
  • One step at a time, Lotus. You’re getting there.
    Proud of you.

    Allies last blog post..Are You There God? It’s Me, Allie

    August 14, 2008
  • Baby steps.

    xx

    Veronicas last blog post..Some Things Are Only Meant To Be Exit Holes

    August 14, 2008
  • Taz

    what lovely post..

    thinking about you hun.. :-)

    Tazs last blog post..Weekly Winners.. no. 7.

    August 14, 2008
  • chotzie

    i need a tissue.

    your friend is a good doobie for sending that. Thanks for posting.

    August 14, 2008
  • You are lucky that not only do you have such a good friend but that her timing was so perfect that you were at a point where you could be open to her message. Have fun in the park with Braden.

    shannons last blog post..Wordless Wednessday – View From Our New Home

    August 14, 2008
  • Fortunately, we did not have to try very long to get pregnant, but I’m one of those perfectionists that just expected it to happen (while knowing better rationally of course), so the first few months I was angry and frustrated and then tried to force the hubs into bed during that special time to try and conceive. He told me in no uncertain terms that that wasn’t a good idea that he’d rather have it be because we loved each other and not because we were ‘trying’– and he was right. The things your friend said came to me and I just tried for a while to enjoy what life was giving, and I did. And then I got pregnant. And I try not to complain because I know there are those out there that would kill to be in my position. So I take each leaky bewb and odd cramp and giggle about it, because I know I have a gift waiting at the end. Sure it’s stinky and will whine way more than I’m capable of tolerating, but it’s a gift anyway. Like my freedom before this, I will revel in it and be glad.

    jills last blog post..How healthy are your finances?…

    August 14, 2008
  • Your friend is both brilliant and a supberb writer! Her words are so powerful! She is right I suppose…when you break most people’s lives down I believe that 90% of it has been blessed. 10% of it is full of pain, loss and death of some sort. I’ve noticed that some people have a tendency to spend the majority of their time in that 10% of their life that has been the worst and forget about the other 90% that has been blessed.

    I’m not saying you are or are not one of these people but your friends’ words are a reminder that we all need to focus more on what we already have and be grateful for the light in each of our lives.

    AnnDs last blog post..Happy Birthday Daniel!

    August 14, 2008
  • That is wonderful advice and such a healthy way to look at life. Thank you to your friend for sending this and to you for posting. It’s certainly a message to keep in mind during the hard and good times.

    Lilacspecss last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Blackberry Peach Smoothie, no added colors, really, I swear

    August 14, 2008
  • I’ve never gone through what you are, so I have nothing to tell you. Other than I’m sending hugs your way!

    Jackis last blog post..Wining and Dining in Hanstholm

    August 14, 2008
  • Aw, that was a beautiful post. Sounds like you have a wonderful friend there, too.

    Mandys last blog post..Bedwetting

    August 14, 2008
  • What a great friend with great advice:)

    Angies last blog post..Hey! Another Honor!

    August 14, 2008
  • I was reading through the other post and there isn’t anything I can add to what has been said. I do however have a Bible verse I want to share with you. I keep it on a 3×5 index card on my mirror to read each morning. *”For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11* I lost my first husband over thirty years ago to cancer. At that time I didn’t understand why — still don’t, but I have a wonderful life now and God knew all along what would be. You have wonderful friends and a great support group —

    Patsy Bains last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #7

    August 14, 2008
  • Tatiana

    My husband and i have been trying to concieve a child for a very long time and i am considered infertile (which by the way is one of the worst words in the english language). I am in grieving. I am not grieving over a loved ones death, or even death in general, i am greiving because i can’t create life. I go through a lot of different emotions everyday.I feel angry, and sad, and jealous, and guilty for feeling jealous, and guilty because i can’t get pregnant. I feel like i don’t want to see any pregnant women, i dont want to buy baby gifts for other people and somedays i could care less about pretending to be happy for other peoples great news of conception and birth! Every month we pray that its our month but we are always dissapointed. Andy rubs my belly and says ” is there a baby in there?”. It breaks my heart because the answer is always no. Lotus thank you so much for posting this email. I am going to print this and stick it in my purse for some my unbearable days.

    August 14, 2008
  • Beautiful email and wonderful words.

    Thank you for sharing.

    August 14, 2008
  • What a great friend!

    Mrs. Schmittys last blog post..Proof That I Am A Reincarnated Adolescent Boy

    August 14, 2008
  • WOW, such a good friend, one more reason for you to be thankful.

    It’s not easy though, and is really a moment to moment process. Recently, someone reminded me of the saying:

    God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the strength to change those that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

    I always think of people in AA using this as their mantra and never really stop to apply it to my own life…but taking it into context in my current struggles, well, it’s good stuff.

    The accepting things I cannot change part is the hardest for me.

    MommyCosms last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: So Very Wrong

    August 14, 2008
  • Crying while reading this. It’s hard when you have bad days, months or years to look at the good. I’m just getting back to it, to remembering how good I really have it.

    Thanks for posting this, it’s important to read.

    Issas last blog post..Medicate or not medicate, this is the question.

    August 14, 2008
  • That is a great friend!! Wise words. Thanks for posting!

    Trinas last blog post..Saved 96% at Kroger!

    August 14, 2008
  • Ree

    {{nodding}} Such wise, wise words – words we all need to remember…

    Rees last blog post..Read Down For the Title

    August 14, 2008
  • I remember reading one time that the opposite of anxiety and worry is gratitude. Obviously that is what you are reaching for.

    rjlights last blog post..Scale

    August 14, 2008
  • Wow, what a powerful email. I’ve been there and dealt with those emotions. We adopted our little angel two and a half years ago after coming to terms with our infertility. He’s a beautiful gift.

    Allysons last blog post..Just Savoring the Moments…

    August 14, 2008
  • Beautifully written. Beautiful advice. Thank you for sharing it!

    The Long and The Short of Its last blog post..Lies in Marriage

    August 14, 2008
  • That was beautiful and so true.

    People forget how lucky they actually are.

    Well done to the author and well done to you for wanting to share it with so many people who it will mean a lot to.

    August 14, 2008
  • That is a good, good friend.
    I am a bad, bad friend – I never answered the question in your last email to me. And the answer is of course I would. I’d be honoured.

    Becks last blog post..Thursday Sapfest.

    August 14, 2008
  • What an amazing letter. Thank you for sharing it.

    Rachaels last blog post..Lost without LOST

    August 14, 2008
  • kateanon

    I’ve been in a similar spot to your friend and I am not sure I had half the sense she apparently does. How wonderful that you have a friend like that close to you.

    kateanons last blog post..Love

    August 15, 2008
  • What a great friend & such a blessing for you!

    Connies last blog post..Happy 22cd Birthday Lydia

    August 15, 2008
  • That was beautiful. Thanks for sharing your friend’s kind and intelligent words.

    August 15, 2008
  • I have to remember things like this all the time or life and the pain that it brings with it would destroy me.

    Of course, it still avalanches down on my head from time to time and I wallow in the black bitter pit for awhile, but then I haul myself out of the sludge and have a shower of gratitude.

    I think everyone has times of bitterness and anger at some of the unfairness of life…It’s pulling yourself out of it that matters.

    Loralees last blog post..Sideblog: Got links?

    August 17, 2008
  • […] my post last Thursday I shared an email from a friend about remembering to be grateful for the blessings we have in our […]

    August 21, 2008
  • […] the spirit of reveling in the good, the night I was writing this post, I decided to take Braden to the park the next day, watch him run around, and just generally enjoy […]

    September 22, 2008

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