The elevator to nowhere.
Do you hear that? Yeah, that’s muzak. Muzak plays in my head sometimes when the words won’t come. Most of the songs have no name that I can conjure, even though I recognize the melodies, and I could hum a few bars ahead if you asked me to. But you probably wouldn’t. Would you like to do a really lame, mellow hip shake and head bob with me? No? Suit yourself.
I was vegetating, just now, staring at a blinking cursor for so long that my tongue dried up and got stuck to the roof of my mouth and a weird “glick” sound came out of me when they separated suddenly. That’s when I realized I was just sitting here with my mouth hanging open like a moron. You know the expression – you’d never be caught dead with that expression on your face in the presence of anyone you respect in the least.
Of course, that’s why you usually end up realizing you’re doing it when you’re in the room with someone you idolize and/or adore. Maybe lust. Fortunately, this time, it’s just me and the laptop and a bunch of unfolded laundry. And unless Keifer Sutherland is hiding in the hamper, I think it’s safe to say I got lucky this time. (Or not.)
Sometimes I have so many things I need to say that I literally have a handful of posts, in varying stages of completion, open on my desktop at the same time. Right now, I want to write about something, and my brain just feels, well, dry… like my mouth.
I want to complete a writing challenge, but my heart isn’t in it. I want to tell a funny story, but the words won’t come. It’s not that I’m in a bad mood, or sad. I’m not stressed out, distracted, or overly tired. I’m not depressed, anxious, or tense about anything. But I know when it’s not right, because I feel like I’m forcing something. When it’s good, and real, the words flow onto the screen, and I can’t stop them.
But tonight, I’m just doomed to step on the elevator to nowhere. The lift operator has on one of those funny hats and he won’t even smile at me. He’s kind of cute, though, and it looks like there’s a guitar case propped in the corner behind him. Maybe halfway up, I’ll goose him and see what happens.
I think “The Girl from Ipanema” is playing now. I always liked that one.
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Mrs. Flinger AKA: Your Beesh
No need to be hard on yourself. That’s the thing about this writing challenge- Anne Lamott (aka; Henceforth known as THE GOD OF WRITING) says to just write. Remember, it’s shitty first drafts. And babe? You hardly EVER have a shitty first draft.
Go easy on yourself. Ride the elevator. LIsten to the Musak. I’m riding with you. XOXO
.-= Mrs. Flinger AKA: Your Beesh´s last blog ..Proud to be the bacon – or alternate title: If I was gay I’d totally be in heaven right now =-.
Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom
Totally not stressing it – that’s why I just wrote this instead.
PS: *smooch*
Twitter: LotusCarroll
Gabriel
I too am surprised of how many of these moments I have, Lotus. Sometimes I’m writing 10 posts at the same time, sometimes I go through a week without being able to think of anything I can say.
If you don’t mind, I will just ride the elevator with you. I can actually sing “Girl from Ipanema” either in Spanish, English or the original Portuguese. Which one would you like me to perform for you, Lotus?
.-= Gabriel´s last blog ..Silly Monkey Stories #81 – I’m going nowhere, somebody help me =-.
Junebug
Portuguese of course!!
.-= Junebug´s last blog ..Guess What Grandma’s Been Doing? =-.
Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom
I’m with Junebug – let’s have the Portuguese!
Twitter: LotusCarroll
Ness at Drovers Run
Firstly, *love* the new template. LOVE it. Laaaaaahhhhhhhve iiiiit.
Secondly, have you had your thyroid hormones checked lately? I too suffer from the beast that is the underactive thyroid, feels a bit like dragging a stuffed gorilla around on your back (my husband will NEVER understand the difficulty of the energy deficit) but it also does the whole ‘brain on pause’ thing. Add to that the activity level that comes with caring for a little dude and you have brain pause.
I upped my thyroid meds with doc approval just slightly, and it’s like suddenly finding another 5 percent of my brain that hasn’t been utilized in a while.
Just a suggestion.
Hormones, they suck hugely when they decide to develop lives of their own instead of being the obedient little nano slaves that they should be.
Twitter: droversrunness
Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom
Yup, yup, tested in November – mentioned it in the hair loss post. My hormones are “normal.” No answers there. TSH is on the low end, though I’m still in reference range and my doc says no meds needed.
I do have to say that sticking to a regular exercise routine consistently has resulted in a much better mood than I usually have during this time of the year, though.
Probably just a bout of regular writer’s block or laziness.
Twitter: LotusCarroll
Ness at Drovers Run
Oh and I also wanted to ask – what plugin you’re using that sticketh those nice social media icons that poppeth up? Looks SO nice.
Twitter: droversrunness
Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom
Sexy Bookmarks, baby!
http://wordpress.org/extend/plugins/sexybookmarks/
Twitter: LotusCarroll
Amanda
Even on your “off” days, you entertain. Even if it’s writing about how much it sucks that you’re not going to write today.
Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom
<3
Twitter: LotusCarroll
amy2boys
I’m in the next elevator over. (And I LOVE “The Girl from Ipanema,” so I’m dancing just a little bit.)
Thanks for coming over for Matthew’s birthday. The one in which he did not participate, but oh well. We had the big family party that evening and by the end I was toast!
.-= amy2boys´s last blog ..I Just Whisper Your Name =-.
Twitter: amy2boys
Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom
Hah, Matthew was adorable, and I thought he really did well, considering his age. And you did a great job – everything was awesome. B loved his takeaway prizes.
Thanks for including us – B enjoyed himself and so did John and I. We never socialize with other adults, seriously, so that was a nice change.
Twitter: LotusCarroll
Karin aka perpstu
My elevator has been stuck lately too. I have 32 posts saved as drafts because I start and then they go nowhere….you’ll get through it. I love the new blog look, it’s beautful!
.-= Karin aka perpstu´s last blog ..I’ll Add It to My Schedule =-.
Twitter: perpstu
Marylin
I get this sometimes, probably much more than you!
We’re always around anyway, ready when you are honey.
x
.-= Marylin´s last blog ..Just ONE photo?? =-.
Evan
Elevators always give me a sense of claustrophobia.
Lotus, aka Sarcastic Mom
May I suggest that you stick with the stairs to nowhere, then?
Twitter: LotusCarroll
lceel
Oh yes, my butterfly. I see you’ve escaped your cocoon. I love the new look … the wings look so good on you.
But listen, once you’ve spread your wings a bit and become accustomed to your new persona, I would like to invite you to join us on ‘The Inferno’ , where writers respond to an occasional challenge word or phrase, for no other reason than – it’s there.
The current challenge is “Turbulence” – it’s due on Saturday and i know that’s WAY too short a time to respond. But the next challenge is going to be based on a short movie called “The Butterfly Circus” – I hope you’ll feel up to joining us then.
Until then, fly. Fly, Lotus, as only you can.
.-= lceel´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – Mishi =-.
Twitter: lceel
Issa
Ooohhh the new site looks so purty.
I struggle with words all the time. Other times it flows out of me. Like verbal diarrhea. Shrug. I hope it gets easier for you soon.
.-= Issa´s last blog ..Will you help me out? I mean it is delurking day after all. =-.
Sweetney
This is my life.
Also, this is when the photo post comes in handy.
.-= Sweetney´s last blog ..I’m all legal and shit (with bonus delurking fun!) =-.
Kellee
Can I just say damn you?
I know have that farqin’ song stuck in my head. AGAIN! ARG!
.-= Kellee´s last blog ..Finally Some Photos =-.