The Mexican, Aka The Urin8or
So, I know that many of you love The Mexican.
We all <3 The Mexican, right?
Even though he only has one testicle. (That’s right – he is AKA Uni-Ball.)
Of course, we don’t hold his Singular Teste against him. (And we hope he returns the favor. Ew.)
We still <3, The Mexican, no?
Even though he chews pacis, eats turds, and urinates on our belongings.
Still, we <3 him, right?
Even though he totally bit Braden that one time.
Oh, hell. I DIDN’T TELL YOU ABOUT THAT?
Well, it was an accident. Braden (25 lbs of clumsy excitement) fell completely on top of The Mexican (5 lbs. of wimpy turdburglar) while he was sleeping. And The Mexican literally bit The Battering Ram, aka Braden, at the exact moment of waking because his spleen was probably rupturing.
So yeah. He totally bit Braden in the face, breaking the skin, and scaring the hell out of the poor kid. Also, I had to resist the urge to kill him with my bare hands. And that was very emotionally stressful for me. Because I am rather volatile and impulsive.
But still, we <3 The Mexican, don’t we?
Sure we do.
Even though we also know, for a fact, that he fits in the microwave. (Seriously. Click it.)
I haven’t tested it yet, but I’m thinking he probably fits in the Crock Pot nicely, too.
But we still love him.
And also even though he is ALWAYS in “time out.” (Yes, dogs can be in “time out,” too.)
Still, we all <3 The Mexian, don’t we!?
Yes, we do.
But sadly, John and I got REALLY TIRED of living in URINE WORLD.
Because that’s what you could have called it at Casa Carroll. Urine World.
Get it? Because he wouldn’t stop marking everything and there was URINE ON SO MUCH OF OUR STUFF.
So, since we’ve been renting the new place, because we love him and don’t want to have to pop his adorable, little head off, The Mexican has been living in a little fenced-in area outside…
…coming in only at night to sleep in our bedroom (in his kennel). (Which… you guessed it! HE PEES IN.)
Eeediot.
I told you all of this just so I could show you this picture of something that happened literally months ago.
At the end of February, I walked into the living room and saw this:
And I was SO EXCITED because I thought that Braden had PEED.ON.THE.POTTY.ALL.BY.HIMSELF!!!
This is where you can point and laugh at me for being SO dumb.
Because that? Is The Mexican’s Pee.
And the message to all dogs out there?
If you could just pee on the toilet all the time? YOU WOULD SO RULE.
(and not have to live in a pen outside, dumbass.)
54 comments
Leave a comment
Show Sponsors
The Awesome
Maggie
I’ve thought about doing that potty training thing for my cats because I would *so* love it. But they won’t get it. I’m keeping my $20 and investing my hopes elsewhere. At least the Mexican did it once!
Maggie’s last blog post..Weekly Winners Sunday 5/25/08
Shamelessly Sassy
I didn’t know the mexican was a uniballer. I feel left out. Also, he totally schooled you by peeing that potty.
Shamelessly Sassy’s last blog post..Outed in A Local Paper
Angeline
What A story! I couldn’t control my laughter when it comes to the microwave part. He’s so tiny? wow!
then came the potty, wow! If only he does it FOR THE REST of HIS DOG-LIFE. That would be awesome ya?
My aunt dog actually could do that since he was a tiny little puppy. He is 12 years old now, almost died earlier this year when he vomitted blood…
Angeline’s last blog post..Kids Think Glasses Make Others Look Smart & Honest
crunchy domestic goddess
LOL why do our dogs have to be so stooopeeeeeed at times? ai eye eye!! (is that how you spell that? who the f knows.)
anyway, that was hilarious. i wish i could restrain my dogs in a little pen in the yard w/ chicken wire. they’d knock that shit down so fast.
crunchy domestic goddess’s last blog post..Breastfeeding while pregnant: trying at times, but ultimately worthwhile
bronnie
Love your wee-happy dog. I have a cat who wees in the bathroom sink, so I totally relate!
Kay (Special K)
OMG! I am LMAO!~
Why? Why? Do they do this? And I am here to tell you some male dogs are so bad at marking things that even after being fixed they still do it.
Let’s just be glad that humans do not do this. Can you imagine?
You are at the bar with your girlfriends and random guys come up and pee on you or worse, start humping your leg!
OK I am LMAO all over again at the visual. (sigh) need to go to bed now.
Kay (Special K)’s last blog post..I swear this blog is not going Aerosmith 24/7
Tootsie Farklepants
With the use of “turdburglar” and “Eeediot”, this might be my favorite post of yours!
Tootsie Farklepants’s last blog post..This Place Needed Some Classing Up
shannymar
I serioulsy just peed myself a little laughing. Guess I must have missed the microwave pic. Too funny. I have grown up around chihuahuas. They are my favorite dogs. My parents at the moment own three but at one point growing up we had five. My little man passed last November of old age. Don Juan Ralphito. I miss the little shit. Now we have a new ‘little shit’ at our casa. Not a chihuahua but a cockapoo puppy. I don’t think he’ll fit in our microwave.
shannymar’s last blog post..Rise of the Aidens?
lilacspecs
See, now if you just taught the Mexican to pee in the potty all the time, problem solved, yes? And when Braden starts to give it a try, the Mexican can just eat anything that lands outside the pot.
I should start writing an advice column!
lilacspecs’s last blog post..Music Monday – Memorial Day
Veronica
The Mexican peed in the potty? Seriously, he needs to come teach Seven all about it. I am still stuck cleaning up dog crap from the bathroom EVERY morning.
Veronica’s last blog post..For Lotus
Taz
wow..
pretty impressive stuff for the pooch..
my once toilet trained dog.. is now peeing inside constantly..
i am really loosing it…
he may become outside more than he likes!
hehe
Taz’s last blog post..31 Weeks Old
Rebecca
Oh my.
And we do still <3 him…
Rebecca’s last blog post..Except for the eventual skin cancer, it was worth it
Twitter: ramblingreba
Christy
That is totally funny! Probably more so to me b/c we have 2 cats, 2 dogs, AND 2 kids–so I can relate!
Christy’s last blog post..It’s All Down Hill From Here
wright
Too funny! We do love The Mexican!
wright’s last blog post..Haiku Friday – Lounging
Tranny Head
You need that freaky ambiguously gay Mexican to help train the Mexican. You know, the Dog Whisperer.
Either that or just threaten to hack is other ball off. BWAHAHAHA
Tranny Head’s last blog post..Memorial Day Weekend – An Almost Serious Post?!
A Whole Lot of Nothing
We have a pee dog, too. She’s almost all outgrown it, but we still find pee here and there.
I’ll give her to you so you can train her to pee in the potty.
A Whole Lot of Nothing’s last blog post..Mama Has a Dream
Allie
I am washing my bedsheets today as my dog felt compelled to punish me for leaving the house yesterday and actually having fun. Because, you know, us SAHMs get to go out and do things so often. How DARE I go on the outside and act like I am carefree instead of staying home and catering to her every whim. What a selfish FOOL I am to do a crazy thing like go to TARGET with my husband and kid without prior approval from my DOG. There is only ONE word for me… BITCH!
cj
BAH HA HA HA!
celticbuffy
Wow! I thought our chi was about the only one that had one testicle! We have the same trouble with our little guy too. He marks everything! Especially plastic and paper. It’s getting so annoying and with getting ready to move into a new house I think he may wind up spending a lot more time in his kennel than he likes. But we love him anyway!
celticbuffy’s last blog post..My Happy Songs
Michelle
The microwave picture has me laughing my ass off.
Michelle’s last blog post..Happy Memorial Day!
Kay
How on earth do you know that it’s the mexican’s pee and not bradens?
Sarcastic Mom says: Toddler Pee and Chihuahua Pee smell very, very different. Trust me. Braden’s pee smells like almost nothing. The Mexican’s Pee? Well. Smell it once and you’ll NEVER want to own a dog. Once I got close enough to the potty to pick it up, I knew immediately whose pee it was.
amy
Oh dear Lord this is cute and funny! He peed in the potty? Awesome! He’s just precious.
If you took him to the doggie dr. and had that one ball cut off, he’d possibly stop marking. May be worth a try.
amy’s last blog post..Deep South Moms
Twitter: amy2boys
Karen
LMAO! Oh. heavens! That was funny.
Karen’s last blog post..J-E-L-L-O!
Kat
Ugh. Cute dumb mexican.
Jenn
How funny that it went in the potty ,him peeing anywhere else in the house though would flip me out and he would live outside forever !
rachel
That is absolutely hysterical!
Maybe The Mexican could teach The Battering Ram how to use the potty?
rachel’s last blog post..Weekly Winners: May 18th to May 24th
Amy Shipp
Wow! Sorry about the bite. The thing is wacky! How did you get him to do that???
Amy Shipp’s last blog post..Photo hunt: Shoes
Krista
You <3 him why?
We went to the movies on Friday night (Prince Caspian, yeah! and the first time I’ve been in like a year!) and saw a preview for Beverly Hills Chihuahua… you should see it…
Krista’s last blog post..Something for Them
Tiffany
I wish i could train my bulldog to pee in a potty. She wants to eat everything though. Knowing her, she’d just chew it up. But in order to train her, she would have to be awake which is nearly impossible. How can a dog sleep so much? And the vet wonders why she’s a fatass. LOL
Tiffany’s last blog post..Oh the Dollar Store
Connie
Now THAT’S funny (sorry, Lotus~I know for you it must be frustrating)!! I laughed the whole time I was reading this
Connie’s last blog post..American Idol Faceoff
Holly
I know some dogs who should learn how to pee in the potty. Think you could train them?
I also blogged about Mexicans today!
Holly’s last blog post..Honorary Latina
Dirty Laundry Diva
My mom has a little mexican that does the same thing and has to live on th porch.. Perhaps it is a common issue with that breed of dog?
Dirty Laundry Diva’s last blog post..A night of hospitality hell…
Jenty
Ewww, that would really piss me off!!
Hee hee
Jenty’s last blog post..Sunset and power lines
Twitter: jenty
Robyn
LOL! This sound all so frighteningly familiar….unfortunately, we had to get rid of our little pisser…my guitar (worth over 2000 ) was pissed on….and I made a choice……………………………………………………
Tanya
oh lotus that was hilarius!!!!!!
lol lol lol I think dogs are fantastic.
I love my dog, she isn’t much bigger than yours but just the right height to jump up on jordon and knock him over. then lick him on the face. yuck.
I waited till she started licking herself in her nether regions then took him out to show him. Now he doesn’t let her lick him on the face.
Tracy D
I need to change my panties. LOL LOL LOL
Tracy D’s last blog post..Questions Deserve Answers….
Stephaine
LMAO……
Kecia
Ok, wife of a veterinarian here… Having an undescended testicle, albeit very, very funny, can lead to a very very bad cancer for the Mexican. Also, neutering him could very well change his peeing on all your crap problem!
Kecia’s last blog post..Latest dance craze
lceel
Oh, the poor Mexican. Thus the phrase “being in the doghouse”.
lceel’s last blog post..Sunday, sunday, so good to me
Twitter: lceel
Karen of Sillymonkeez
That made me laugh. Our chihuahua is nippy and likes to mark everything. We have to keep him in a belly band (male dog diaper). We try to be understanding because we think he had been abused before we adopted him and he has dominance issues for sure. I just thought I’d suggest the belly bands. it works pretty well if you can handle having another diaper to change. LOL!!
Karen of Sillymonkeez’s last blog post..Some Family Time Saved the Day!
Sarah
Awww…poor penned up mexican…
But I SO would’ve done the same thing!
Sarah’s last blog post..My sweet tooth is in heaven
Twitter: sadiecass
Duh
Hey! If you get him fixed he will most likely quit peeing on everything. Just a suggestion.
Beth_C
I can always count on you for an early morning laugh!
Beth_C’s last blog post..Wide Load Warning!
MP
Ohhh the poor Mexican…I love that he peed in Brandon’s potty.
My 1/2 Mexican does 69 w/ the cat.. and we get pee. He pees on the trashcan in the kitchen. At least he’s consistant
MP’s last blog post..Memorial Day Group Photo – St Louis Zoo
BusyDad
What a spunky little guy! haha. And thanks to you, this UniBall pen on my desk will forever spark a chuckle.
BusyDad’s last blog post..If Jeopardy Were Written by Parents
Penelope Anne
Aren’t they supposed to outgrow that, eventually?
I’m sorry some of it is funny, but not the biting.
The one doggie we had ate my shoes, all of them.
Because we rent and most places here do not allow pets we have not had a dog since 1992. Still have the kids though, and one went through a phase where he felt the need to mark his territory.
Penelope Anne’s last blog post..Heads or Tails #16 ~ Workin’ 9 to 5
the planet of janet
i think you must have sent some bad vibes my way — the rat dogs do the same thing (though NEVER on a potty chair. that would be CIVILIZED).
my couch is never going to be the same.
the planet of janet’s last blog post..Just kill me now. It’s so much kinder in the long run …
Twitter: planetofjanet
ourcrookedtree
The idea of getting him fixed sounds good; why would you let him multiply? B looks so sad looking in the pen ?
ourcrookedtree’s last blog post..Back Seat Driver
Anne
You can get your little guy a belly band. My chihuahua doesn’t mark at home, but he will when we go to my mom’s so I bought it and cut a little maxi pad in half and stick it in there. It’s a little wrap with velcro that goes over his ween. That should help with the marking. Also, get his ball cut off that might help. You may have no choice but to let him in in the winter because chihuahuas can get hypothermia if it’s under 40 degrees Fahrenheit so if he’s wearing a doggy diaper he can’t pee on stuff.
Redneck Mommy
Gosh I love your uniballed mexican.
I want one of my own.
Maybe even a two testicled one.
I’d just slap a diaper on that bitch (er…bugger) and throw him in the crock pot to take pics all day.
Go ahead and try it. Tell me you won’t laugh your butt off as he waddles out from the pot…wink, wink.
Redneck Mommy’s last blog post..Vaseline (and Unicorns)
Twitter: talesfromtyahoo.ca
'cuz I'm the mommy, that's why
ZOMG! “Turdburglar”? Crock Pot? you totally made me snort coffee out of my nose while tears streamed down my cheeks from laughing!
I <3 the Mexican!
‘cuz I’m the mommy, that’s why’s last blog post..S&M and Grape Jam
Elaine
The urine is part of the reason we don’t have a Mexican, or any other kind of dog for that matter.
That picture of him in the microwave is freakin’ hilarious. And the “puppy dog” eyes on your poor bitten baby are enough to melt my heart…
Elaine’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday #18 – Oh The Toys!
tiff
OMG. What can I say? I’m SO late for this party but my family totally peed themselves laughing at this. Thank you for bringing a smile to our Sunday.
Welcome back, Pee-Dog! |
[...] And the dog went outside. [...]