The shoes are still sitting in the garage, being avoided. *sigh*
Dear Exceeding Disgusting Degenerate Who Frequented the Mens Room At Cracker Barrel:
I am really appreciative of the fact that my loving husband takes on diaper duties for our son when he comes home. It offers me a chance to relax a little.
Unfortunately, he entered the restroom to change a wet diaper on Monday at some point after you were there. And he occupied much of the same space that you clearly “used” during your time in the facility.
For future reference: That round, shiny porcelain thing that you were in a stall with? THAT was your primary target. Notice how it was just about the same size as your ass (not your face, but I understand your confusion, as you are clearly an Assfacian). It must have seemed like such a coincidence, I know, but trust me – it is purposeful. You are actually supposed to place your “dumping mechanism” over that lovely collection bowl and THAT is where you are intended to make your “deposit.” This is the acceptable way of doing things in our part of the world.
In other words? Shit goes in the toilet. NOT ON THE FLOOR.
The scent of “shit shoe-sole”, even after it has been furiously rubbed on dirt and leaves in the parking area, is not a pleasant thing to a pregnant lady in a car on the ride home.
Please note that your anonymity is the only thing saving your life today.
Sincerely,
One of the MANY people who understand how this whole Public Sanitation thing works.
38 comments
Leave a comment
Show Sponsors
The Awesome
river
Ha Ha Ha.
Wash the shoes. Outside, in a bucket of soapy water. With a scrubbing brush. Wearing disposable rubber gloves.
Or throw out the shoes and go shopping for a new pair.
I can’t believe someone would actually do that. (perhaps someone who is mentally ill and has a deathly fear of toilet pans?)
SJSFalter
I think I just threw up in my mouth…a lot! Im so sorry, that is freaking sick although rather funny when being read by a person half way across the world that did not experience this nastiness.
SJSFalters last blog post..Nearly 6 Months to the Day
Veronica
Ewwww. Just ewwwww.
Veronicas last blog post..Getting there
PandoraWilde
It really makes you wonder if some people WERE born in a barn, doesn’t it?
PandoraWildes last blog post..New moves, new neighbors
Walking With Scissors
Not only am I not pregnant, but I also can’t smell what you did. Despite that, I’m feeling queasy right now. There are no words. None. That’s farking disgusting.
Walking With Scissorss last blog post..Happy Birthday, Baby Girl!
Kat
The weird things people will do in bathrooms.
Kats last blog post..Alternate Universe
Zoeyjane
I can’t decide if assfaceon is funnier than you calling yourself a lady
Zoeyjanes last blog post..On breaking
vishnu @ beautiful minds : an Indian Blog
Congrats in becoming the featured site of the day in cumment luv
seo blog
Looks like this blog is getting very popular very fast.
Vic
Reading that made me feel more than a little bit sick.
Vics last blog post..Brain Storm
mapsgirl
That’s so wrong…some people are really disgusting.
But I have to laugh and how wonderfully you wrote that! I so needed a smile today!
mapsgirls last blog post..first visit with the teacher
Hockeyman
Thats gross, but what did you expect at the cracker barrel?
Hockeymans last blog post..Ideas Please
Patsy Bain
Hear, Hear!!!! Why? Part of me always wonders why? Why would anyone want to defecate on the floor when a perfectly respectable (in most cases) is available? Beyond me! And I really don’t want to know. YUCK! Nasty people ooooo just nasty people.
shiver shake make faces
Patsy Bains last blog post..Grammar 101 or a Pet Peeve
AnnD
Ewwww….I’m actually surprised to hear that came out of a men’s restroom….in my experience, women’s restrooms tend to be much more disgusting.
AnnDs last blog post..Words I’ve Read.
Meg
That is some husband you have there. Diapers off to him!!!!!
Megs last blog post..Joe the Plumber Lives, Breathes and Blogs!!!
stephanie
I wish people wouldn’t be so disgusting. Sorry all of you had to deal with that. I feel bad for the Cracker Barrel employees who had to clean it up too.
Maybe the security camera caught him walking out of the bathroom. You should ask CB if they roll the tape for you. Then we can all track that sicko down!
Sarah
That’s just nasty!! What the heck is wrong with people?
Miss Britt
Oh. Hellz. No.
Miss Britts last blog post..Why you should probably not invite me to your Passion Party
Jenn
Oh my God you’re so right! This is more disgusting than what I typically run into, which is piss all over the seat in women’s restrooms – but the same rule applies. Could these people, whoever they are, please learn how to use a potty? I mean, if they were 2 years old, fine, but I’m pretty sure they’re all grown up. Most 2 year olds don’t use the potty in public restrooms on their own.
Jenns last blog post..Sugar is not evil. Or, why Newburyport needs to calm the fuck down.
Colleen - Mommy Always Wins
Blech! Another reason to avoid Cracker Barrels! They *are* scattered like a trail of breadcrumbs along just about every Interstate I’ve ever traveled, though.
Colleen – Mommy Always Winss last blog post..The awesome adventures of two roadtrippin’ Mommies
Twitter: mommy_wins
A Whole Lot of Nothing
Really? Really??? For shiz????
That’s grounds for immediate dismissal to Land o’ Assfacia.
A Whole Lot of Nothings last blog post..Wordless 10.22.8: Grandmom
Betsey
I do not understand what it is about a public restroom that makes people lose all sense of decency….
Or sense of smell.
Betseys last blog post..
TarotByArwen
Oh wow. I can’t even imagine the disgusting human being that would do something like that! YICK!
TarotByArwens last blog post..Tarot And Food: King Of Cups Layered Stew
Shanna
That is hysterical! I can’t believe there is a human out there that would do that…. honestly – how do you miss?
Shannas last blog post..I’m Blessed
Heather, Queen of Shake Shake
That is just sick. Like sickos who draw pee-pees on little kindergarten learn to read books.
The land of Assfacian is full of perverts and disgustos.
Heather, Queen of Shake Shakes last blog post..So I lied. This IS a monarchy
jill
i was in a bathroom once where it looked like a woman had. well. crouched over the toilet while dumping instead of sitting down. shit was everywhere. on the inside of the toilet, on the floor, etc. what a mess. i told the restaurant manager the bathroom REALLY needed cleaned. badly. she sent someone right away. but still. no one else had noticed? and for god’s sake why cant people just sit down in public to go to the bathroom.
jills last blog post..Baby update…
Lisa
Ewww I really think I just threw up a bit. Another reason I hate using the public restrooms. *shudders*
Oh and by the way….Congrats on placing in the Blogger’s Choice Awards!
Lisas last blog post..Mouthwatering Monday?
Special K
Oh hell no! I am praying that it was a child and not an adult, I mean, some poor woman out there has to LIVE with that thing!!!!!!!!!!!
Stuart
I must say… that was disgusting and it is happening too often nowadays.
I had something pretty similar happen one day, was coming down the fire stairs at work.. and yes… OH YES… someone had taken a dump in the fire stairs *shudders*.
What was worse was that it took about 3 weeks to finally get a cleaner in there to clean it up and it was starting to smell about 4 floors above it by that time (as you would walk down the stairs).
Stuart
Stuarts last blog post..New WordPress Plugin – Beta Testers Wanted!
Tranny Head
Good God. The worst part about this post is that I just went to the Cracker Barrel today for lunch.
*gag*
Nobody shat on the floor in the bathroom, though. Thankfully.
Tranny Heads last blog post..I Sort of Suck, but Not Really.
dysfunctional mom
And I thought pee pee drops on the toilet seat were bad.
EWWWWWW
dysfunctional moms last blog post..If You Give a Kid a Camera 10.21.08
Meggan
You have summed up in one post why I HATE using public restrooms! Women’s are just as bad. And why do women’s restrooms have flower sented air freshner’s in them? Just what I like to smell when I walk into a bathroom, flower scented poo!
Meggans last blog post..We are Penn State
Athena
gag! I think I just threw up a little bit…
(blech – you should see my face right now…)
Jenny from Mommin' It Up!
EEEEEWWW!
Truck stop behavior at a cracker barrel!?!?
Shameful!
Gross. I just ate breakfast. Might puke in sympathy.
Jenny from Mommin’ It Up!s last blog post..Babies R Us, you are about to lose a loyal customer.
Twitter: jennyitup
Cassandra Rae
You’re funny :~)
Oh yeah, and sorry about the rank smells – pregnancy sharpens our sense of smell something fierce
Cassandra Raes last blog post..Free On-line Coaching: perfecting perfectionism
Trenches of Mommyhood
That just made me PIMMAL (puke in my mouth a little)
Trenches of Mommyhoods last blog post..Just This
HappyCampers
Ohmy gosh. I would have thrown away the shoes…no amount of scrubbing people shit off shoes would make it worth keeping!!!
HappyCamperss last blog post..Disney World: Wednesday & Thursday Morning
Talina
Oh my goodness. Reminds me of the days when I was responsible for cleaning up crap like that… People are just damn nasty.
Twitter: TalinaN