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  • So I totally blogged about something similar to this today:

    “Anyway, I think that I’ve been lacking in the actual FEELING of gratitude because I’m not being intentional enough about SAYING that I’m grateful. I mean, it’s the same as when I realize how much saying, “I love you” to Joe actually impacts ME and makes me desire to show him love more often.”

    I think you’re great, and I think it’s great that you want to tell other people the great things you like about them. Good luck! :-)

    Tabithas last blog post..Two Words.

    January 29, 2009
    • @Tabitha,

      Great minds think alike?

      Then again, I’m rather self-deprecating, so I’m more likely to tell you that you’re just as much of an emotional wusspot as I am.

      😉

      January 29, 2009
  • OK, taking your cue, I will tell you that I love your blog posts. You either crack me totally up or bring me to my (arthritic) knees. Thanks for sharing so much of your Self! Love your photos tonight.

    Terri – teelgees last blog post..Thursday Challenge: Containers 01-29-09

    January 29, 2009
  • Why do I feel like that little dog in the wagon is mooning me?

    Terri – teelgees last blog post..Thursday Challenge: Containers 01-29-09

    January 29, 2009
    • @Terri – teelgee,

      Zack, aka ‘The Mexican,’ always has a way of making his ass the center of attention.

      😉

      January 29, 2009
  • Holy hell. All this time I thought you were kidding about the underwear gnome. Forgive me.

    Lisas last blog post..Pickapeppa Makes Ass Taste Like Filet Mignon!

    January 29, 2009
  • I knew we were so similar that it’s scary. I do this too. The fake arguments and everything.

    Veronicas last blog post..90 Minutes

    January 29, 2009
  • Positivity is the future. I can get onboard with that. I am mindful to get my child to focus on the positives, I utter those words to him regularly when he’s having a bit of a fit because he can’t have chocolate for breakfast. Like, focus on the positive that you get to have breakfast, and that the chocolate will still be in stock for a more appropriate time. He’s either going to run with it, or hate me a little more. But I would take both if he grew up to ignore the negatives.

    SingleParentDads last blog post..Every Loser Wins

    January 29, 2009
  • I do this constantly. And it works. Make it work for you. :)

    btw, why do I have to have a photo of Zach as my avatar? I want a flower or something. lol

    Athenas last blog post..Technical Difficulties

    January 29, 2009
    • @Athena,

      Hah. That’s the default. Go to http://en.gravatar.com/ and sign up. All you have to do is register the email that you use when you comment on a blogsite, and choose the photo you want. Then it will automatically show up on gravatar enabled sites when you leave a comment (with that email address). Pretty cool!

      And, hey, Zack as the default isn’t so bad. He’s cute! I cold have put a picture of a buttcrack or something. 😛

      January 29, 2009
  • How ironic, I used to do that a lot more often than I do now, arguments in my head – my own worst enemy bull crap. You have a great idea to stop the madness and I wish you the best of luck.

    Oh, and Lotus… I love you girl! (hugs)

    Carries last blog post..Surprise, I have something new

    January 29, 2009
    • @Carrie,

      You know, I actually have done it way more in the past than I do anymore, too. About a year or so ago, I really started to force myself to stop it whenever I caught myself doing it. It helped, and I do it less now… but I still catch myself doing it. And I hate that!

      January 29, 2009
  • I felt like you wrote this post about me. It’s nice to know I am not alone in my thoughts. That being said, I appreciate you a great deal and always value your words of wisdom. Even when they contain phrases like, “lazy douche”.
    Douche, I love that word…

    January 29, 2009
    • @Allie,

      Hahaha, well, we can thank “Dana” for the lazy douche bit.

      Even Dana deserves to get some positive reinforcement, right? Thanks for the great running gag, Dana!

      YOU ROX.

      And so do you, Allie. (Like, more than Dana, and stuff.) :-)

      January 29, 2009
  • Chris

    I know that we didn’t really know each other that long in the ol’ Brookstone days, but we did work a lot of hours, lol. I didn’t want to like you when you started. I thought I had gotten the short end of the stick in that whole store manager decision. But, I couldn’t not like you. Honestly, you’re one of the best people I ever worked with. Okay, so, technically worked for, whatever. Haha. I know you get lots of comments and such, but sometimes, I don’t think you really get how awesome you are.

    January 29, 2009
    • @Chris,

      Way to make a girl cry, Chris, GAH. 😉

      You know, I never thought of our working relationship as a tiered one. You were my peer in every way. An incredibly valued one, at that. I was SO BUMMED when you left. There was no replacement. Seriously.

      *sniff*

      Right about now I wish I had a crotch to grab or something to dispel all the estrogen that’s flowing. What can I do that’s macho?

      *butt scratch*

      January 29, 2009
      • Chris

        @Sarcastic Mom, aka Lotus,

        Well, if you’re looking for a crotch to grab, I’ll get on the road today. 😉

        This will help…bathroom door. Unlocked. hahaha.

        January 30, 2009
  • That’s a really great idea Lotus.

    Good for you for coming up with such a postive plan. :)

    and I fake argue with people in the shower too lol

    Mistress Bs last blog post..Mail Time

    January 29, 2009
    • @Mistress B,

      Schmutzie really got me thinking with her Grace in Small Things movement.

      That community is joinable. Have a look. :-)

      January 29, 2009
  • Dear Underwear Gnome,

    Thank you for keeping Lotus’ crotchless panties safe.

    Love, Dawn

    January 29, 2009
    • @Dawn,

      Wait. I just looked through them all and there are no crotchless panties.

      NOOOOOOOOooooooooo!!!!

      The UG’s must have stolen the crotchless panties I never even knew I HAD!

      *note to self: buy some crotchless panties just to show the UG’s who’s boss*

      January 29, 2009
  • Jill

    I also prepare discussions in my head, worry about what i would do if something like a fire happened, etc etc. i waste a lot of time on that. at least this year i have decided to give up on thinking about things in the past that pissed me off. like those beyatches in high school who treated me like crap because i was poor. its their parents and their bad manners to treat those less fortunate like that, and i am moving on from feeling like trash, yes, i have up to this point let their nastiness from over 10 years ago make ME feel inferior. Jesus. That was a prayer, really it was. I’m SO over those beyatches. Because I, like you, lotus dear, ROCK!

    Jills last blog post..We’ve moved

    January 29, 2009
    • @Jill,

      You DO! I’ve always concentrated on the past too much, as well. That is a really hard thing to stop doing, and it takes constant practice to keep yourself from going back there. Congrats on that, it is really an achievement!

      January 29, 2009
  • I have done the fake argument thing, but usually because there IS something to discuss/argue about and I am anticipating real conflict. I also try to put good vibes out to the universe, although lately no one seems to be listening. But I don’t have the energy for negativity these days. So good for you for trying a new path!

    MidLifeMamas last blog post..Can you get a contact high from albuteral?

    January 29, 2009
  • This is perfect, I will do it too!
    Thanks!

    Jackies last blog post..I HAVE HAD A LOT OF ROOMATES

    January 29, 2009
  • I’ll just go ahead and thank you here for inviting me over to Grace in Small Things. I’ve been doing it daily for almost a week, and it’s a great reminder. So, thanks! :)

    Maggie’s Minds last blog post..A is for…

    January 29, 2009
    • @Maggie’s Mind,

      It really does help you focus when there’s kind of an “assignment” side of it, isn’t there? Schmutzie sure had a good idea here. :-)

      January 29, 2009
  • I thought I was the only person who had fake arguments “just in case.” I have been known to get so angry at the real person in my fake arguments that I can’t speak to them for days.

    I will follow your positivity cue!

    January 29, 2009
  • I don’t often argue with the people in my head, they
    scare the living day lights out of me.

    I have totally felt like I was being way to negative though, I am also trying to be more positive. Love your idea, might just steal it.

    K~

    Love your gnome;)

    January 29, 2009
    • @Kristal,

      How about if I just happily pass it along to you?

      Then you don’t have to feel like a dirty, dirty thief. Hah! 😉

      January 29, 2009
  • Tranny Head

    Good luck with that – it’s definitely a noble effort.

    (I, of course, am a horrible biotch and relish at mocking other peoples’ ineptitude, stupidity,and douchebaggery. But I DO enjoy the thought of you doing something positive. Good for you!)

    Tranny Heads last blog post..Dear Tranny Head: Releasing the Fury

    January 29, 2009
    • @Tranny Head,

      I don’t think I have to give up the humor or the rants. But my overall life attitude could use a change. Because the negative stuff I’m referring to is different. It’s ugly and I use it to bring MYSELF down.

      And I am so awesome, that is really stupid to do.

      (I love it when I can insult and compliment myself in one fell swoop. Heh.)

      January 29, 2009
  • Yup. Yes. and OH HELL YEAH.

    I was just like you (sans the underwear knomes) so negative. So paranoid. So WORRIED about how I was percieved. And just like you I had TONS of fake arguements. Fantasys really. Where I said everything I wanted. Told people off. Yelled.

    And just like you I CHANGED. Not completely. But slowly. I just started putting my energy into the positive things. Paying it forward or whatever that crap is…but really…I smiled more. Went out of my way to tell a waitress what a great job she did. Actually told my husband I APPRECIATED HIM AND WAS GLAD I PICKED HIM. Shocking stuff.

    And now? I am far happier. sure I still worry what people think from time to time. But in general I made a better life for me. AND MY BOYS.

    Oh and by the way? I totally value you and think you are stellar cool.

    The Glamorous Lifes last blog post..MarcyThen: The glamorous years as a pre-teen performer.

    January 29, 2009
    • @The Glamorous Life,

      I’ve made small strides in this area in the past… but I’ve needed a kick in the butt lately to pick myself up and keep going in that direction.

      I’m a work in progress, and damnit, I want the final product to be something I’m proud of.

      And I want Braden to be proud of it, too. :-)

      January 29, 2009
  • You may kick my shins for saying this, but I’m an absolute believer in the mind-body connection and its affects on every feeling you have. I also believe that you can change your thinking, and it’s a minute-by-minute struggle, but over time, it works.

    Commence kicking.

    Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]s last blog post..Wordless 1.28.9 – Florida Winter

    January 29, 2009
    • @Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing],

      Now, why on earth would I want to kick you in the shins for THAT?

      It kind of makes the point I was making.

      Oh yeah, I do like to beat myself up a lot. Let’s stop kicking ourselves and each other, though. Chicks making out is wayyyy hotter than kicking.

      January 29, 2009
  • I have a lot of fake arguments in my head… and man am I good at it. You wouldn’t believe all the ways I can tell you off.

    But you’re making me think it might not be something to be proud of.

    Gah.

    Betseys last blog post..Put Your Hands In The Air And Slowly Back Away From The Dog, Buddy

    January 29, 2009
    • @Betsey,

      Hahah! I am starting to think that we are different and the same all at the once. And I like it!

      :-)

      January 29, 2009
  • Bootiful. I admire YOU, Lotus.

    (And is that gnome holding a pickle? Or a biscotti?)

    Colleen – Mommy Always Winss last blog post..When worlds collide

    January 29, 2009
    • @Colleen – Mommy Always Wins,

      1.) Thank you. :-) You’re pretty special, yo-self.

      2.) Oh, COME ON. I worked HARD on that photoshop!
      He’s holding my sexy, silky top that has lace and beads sown to the edges.

      It was a rather expensive and indulgent… oh, who am I kidding. Total Walmart special.

      Biscotti, for crying out loud….

      Heh.

      January 29, 2009
  • If only there was a job for a master of arguing inside your own head. Lady, we’d be swimming in job offers.

    I think you’ve got a great idea. I try to always thank people or compliment them whenever I can, but I can always do more to be positive. This reminder to work on the positive and shut down the negative is a good one for me, too.

    And as a side note, I’m doing my nursing clinical in a psych ward this quarter. Do you know how hard it is to realize people there have been locked up for doing things like talking to themselves, and wondering how you get to leave each day? It’s a fine line, I tell ya.

    Christinas last blog post..How A Bendy Straw Nearly Made Me Cry

    January 29, 2009
    • @Christina,

      Seriously! I have had so much practice. In my own head I RULE ALL OTHERS. (Well, except for when I lose, like I said. But mostly that’s when I’m fighting someone just like me. So, therein lies their awesomeness. Heh.)

      No, really, I think I’ve always done this because of my high level of insecurity. Man, that “I” word drives so many destructive behaviors.

      I actually do thank and compliment people… but I’m thinking if I make SURE I do it every day, and write it down, even… well, then I’m focusing more on the positivity. And I seriously, SERIOUSLY need that right now.

      Also? What you mentioned at the end of your comment is one of the many reasons I ended up changing my mind about becoming a Clinical Psychologist. I’d never be able to leave at the end of the day and not take it all home with me. What you pointed out, as well as so much more, really. And the weight of that would have been far too much for my fragile, emotional being.

      January 29, 2009
  • This: “And my first step is going to be… instead of having fake arguments with other people?” I understand. I know. I once wrote a post called, “My inner bitch could kick your inner bitch but you’d never know it”. Because I went through that phase. It’s gone now.

    Truly.

    You’re coming up from a hard year and you’re amazing, loved, and wonderful. You push beyond the shit all the time. You? Are valued. And those you come in contact already know you love them because even though you might not realize it, you’re a shining star, babe. You make us all warm and fuzzy. :-)

    Mrs. Flingers last blog post..Moms of Sons

    January 29, 2009
  • Yep very true! My tagline, “Life is only what you choose to make it, perception is key!” was a result of a similar realization on my part.

    We all have times when the negative consumes us, some have it more than others and most everyone wants to change it. Recognizing it is the first step.

    Girl you are growing so much as a result of recent happenings and your honesty about the journey is super helpful and inspirational to others, meaning me (even if you refuse to believe it)!

    Talinas last blog post..18 week milestone for baby Tater Tot and parents

    January 29, 2009
  • Melissa Ann

    I am also a perpetually conflicted/negative/saracastic person. I don’t ever want to lose that part of me permanently – I mean, I have no desire to be a happy-go-lucky bushy-tailed kinda gal. But, like you’ve been describing, occasionally it begins to interfere with my life – my functioning – my relationships.

    Now I am NOT a journaling kind of gal either – hate it, actually. But someone once suggested to me journaling at the end of each day about the positive things that happened that day. I quickly realized that this wasn’t going to happen, so I grabbed an old notepad, and at the end of each day, I forced myself to write three sentences:
    1 – one thing I was grateful for that day
    2 – one thing I was proud of myself for that day
    3 – one thing I wasn’t so proud of and would work on doing better next time

    I found I could manage three sentences, and surprisingly? IT HELPED.

    Just a thought :)

    January 29, 2009
  • Whoooo, those some sexy undies, Lotus.

    Sorry, the undies distracted me. Let me just say, I thought I was the only person who did the fake argument thing. I call it prep arguments. And I’m going to stop myself. Pinkie swear.

    jennielynns last blog post..I’m So Ashamed

    January 29, 2009
  • I don’t have underwear gnomes, just the dryer snacks on them from time to time.
    I thought i was the only one who argued in my head to figure out what I would do IF I was in that situation.

    Jennifer As last blog post..You mean its only Tuesday????

    January 29, 2009
  • I guess I’m a very cynical cock-eyed optimist, personally.

    January 29, 2009
  • Lisa

    I totally have pretend arguments in my head, just in case. Especially in the car. It was getting pretty bad so now I listen to audiobooks (: I also have pretend scenarios about “oh my god what if my husband is in a horrible accident? Or I drop the baby going down the stairs?” A girl can go crazy with the what-ifs. Just my own private neuroses I guess.

    January 29, 2009
  • My therapist told me once that it is ok to be negative sometimes….some beautiful flowers have been seen thriving in shit. 😉

    January 29, 2009
  • river

    Those damned underwear gnomes! They’ve been using my knickers as slingshots, I just know it! Because the elastic is all stretched and loose now….

    January 30, 2009
  • Sarah

    I was reading Eckhart Tolle last year and he really hit me over the head w/ this realization. All those “imaginary conversations” are less now because I have been better at catching myself in the act. I think that is where the phrase “what will be will be” came from.

    Sarahs last blog post..I Don’t Care about Saving on Crap.

    January 30, 2009
  • Just wanted to say that I love the knome.

    that’s all I have to contribute. :)

    Rhea – Experiencing Motherhoods last blog post..Labor is Hard, It Hurts, and You Can Do It

    January 30, 2009
  • Jules

    Gnomes scare me. Especially Underwear ones. And I try to make my imaginary arguments into more like conversations now. I have daily in the shower…and throughout the day….but definitely in the shower.

    January 31, 2009

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