This is probably how Britney felt the day she shaved her head.

Wednesday morning it became evident that it was going to be one of THOSE days.

You know, one of those days when my inherited tendency to act like a MENTALLY DERANGED LUNATIC is blatantly obvious to anyone within a 32.7 mile radius.

So, this is kind of like an update to let you all know that getting off The Pill really improved my depression and gave me back my libido, but it has done nothing for the fact that I am often an irritable, highly anxiety-prone, mega-BITCH who canNOT cope with the small things of life.

Fortunately, I am often in complete control of my emotions and behaviors.

Wednesday morning? Not so much.

We had plans to go to the zoo with some lovely friends of ours.

I made John get up with Braden, and laid in bed, feeling GRUMPY. (Why? I have no idea, because I really was excited to go to the Zoo.)

Finally got up, while cursing the idea of EVER NOT SLEEPING.

Tried 239402938402938 times to fix my hair. And then it still looked STUPID.

Was exceedingly fat all morning.

All my clothes were UGLY.

NONE of them fit. Who sent a midget clothes shopping for me?

Did not eat breakfast. Instead ran around trying to find my bra. WHO HID MY FREAKING BRA!? HM?

Was mad at John for breathing. Forced him to do more house-leave-prep than usual because I was emotionally hyperventilating.

It is possible that I may have been frothing at the mouth at some point.

Tried to make a grilled cheese sandwich for Braden. BURNED THE HELL OUT OF IT.

Beat on the stove with the spatula because of the burned sandwich to teach it a lesson.

The stove did not respond in the approved manner, which would have been to unburn the sandwich for me.

Damn asshole, that stove.

But later, at the zoo, I was all better. And really, once we were at the Monkey Exhibit, I was reflecting that I hadn’t behaved much better that morning than one of those hairy, tree-swinging beasts.

I have yet to fling poo.

But do not underestimate me.

Depression, Emotionally Unstable, Fatness, Jerk, Losing My Marbles, Mental Issues, The Zoo

This entry was posted on April 3, 2008, 12:01 AM and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through RSS 2.0. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

#1 by Sadie on April 3, 2008 - 12:10 AM

I really hate those days!!! Glad you got through it! And I’m glad you had fun at the zoo!!!!

Sadie’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #9

Reply Quote

#2 by Kara - down to earth mommy on April 3, 2008 - 12:26 AM

well its good news that you haven’t thrown poo yet. Sorry you had such a crappy day. Make tomorrow better, and hire taller clothes shoppers!

Kara – down to earth mommy’s last blog post..Stinky Bread Machine!

#3 by Sarah on April 3, 2008 - 12:36 AM

Man, oh man, we had to have been channeling each other. I’m still a moody pissed-off bitch without birth control as well. And yesterday (since it’s Thursday, ROFL) was hell on wheels for me as well, no matter what.

*hugs*

I hope your Thursday looks up.

Sarah’s last blog post..Twitter Updates for 2008-04-02

#4 by tommie on April 3, 2008 - 12:39 AM

those are the days that you just have to breathe in, breathe out!

tommie’s last blog post..Thursday 13…..#34….the letter N

#5 by Maggie on April 3, 2008 - 1:15 AM

Yah, as long as you don’t get to the poo fling stage, I’d say you’re OK. Punishing the stove is pretty funny though from the outside looking in. Just saying.

Maggie’s last blog post..Stinky Chefs

#6 by Golightly on April 3, 2008 - 1:18 AM

I HAD this day today!! THIS is me! I’m so serious, I don’t know if I should laugh or cry.

Some of the circumstances were different, but man, I was CRANKY! With a capital C. R. A. N. K. Y.!

At least I’m not alone.

Thanks for stopping by my blog today. I hope tomorrow is better for both of us!

Golightly’s last blog post..I Get Knocked Down – But I Get Up Again

#7 by cyndy on April 3, 2008 - 2:09 AM

You just described me. But mine has nothing to do with BC, and everything to do with My Issues.
It’s fun!

cyndy’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: @#$%*!

#8 by MizFit on April 3, 2008 - 4:19 AM

ahhhh the normalizing I always need from BLOGLAND!

and Ill bet britbrit felt sooooo freed post-headshorning.

been there (not in anger but in dreds).
done that.
LOVED IT.

(not that Im encouraging *wink*)

MizFit’s last blog post..food glorious food: guest chef edition.

#9 by Rebecca on April 3, 2008 - 4:48 AM

I HATE days like that. I hope today is better.

Rebecca’s last blog post..Octopuses: part two of an occasional series

#10 by Lightening on April 3, 2008 - 4:48 AM

Oh.My.G…… You have just described ME to a “T”. How scary is that????

Lightening’s last blog post..Emergency Fund

#11 by Lightening on April 3, 2008 - 4:49 AM

Oh, except I would NEVER have been able to describe it as funny as you just did!!!!

#12 by PlanningQueen on April 3, 2008 - 5:04 AM

When I have a day like that, I console myself with the fact that eventually it will end!

PlanningQueen’s last blog post..Planning Children’s Birthday Parties – Strategy, Themes and Invitations.

#13 by Adrienne on April 3, 2008 - 5:28 AM

Great entry. Totally tells the story of my life some days. I think more than anything it’s when my clothes don’t fit and that just sets me off right there. It’s a bitch (no pun intended) being a woman, with all those friggen’ hormones screwing with our stability.

Adrienne’s last blog post..Live and Death (and all the insults in-between)

#14 by clickmom on April 3, 2008 - 6:02 AM

I het that way every month abotu 4 days before the “visitor”. But just to show my support for you I have my stove the cold shoulder this mornign and used the toaster instead.

clickmom’s last blog post..dear blog 365

#15 by daysgoby on April 3, 2008 - 6:08 AM

HOW did you have my day?

daysgoby’s last blog post..her hair smelled like new leaves

#16 by Taz on April 3, 2008 - 6:10 AM

hi..

hrmm.. i have those mornings often..

flinging poo.. definatly not my cup of tea..

Taz’s last blog post..23 Weeks Old

#17 by witchypoo on April 3, 2008 - 6:20 AM

Priceless! You nailed it, and am so glad somebody saw fit to punish that pesky, disobedient stove. It was time.

witchypoo’s last blog post..Gone Yesterday, Hair Today

#18 by Veronica on April 3, 2008 - 6:25 AM

Soulmates.

Come live in my backyard.

Veronica’s last blog post..Ducks? Mmmmmm

#19 by Alison on April 3, 2008 - 6:31 AM

It had to be the day….Wednesday that is because I had the same type of day. Except I DID fling the poo.

Alison’s last blog post..Night Terrors

#20 by Kim on April 3, 2008 - 6:46 AM

I think that the flinging of the poo might make you feel better? Maybe I will try it next time I have one of those days.

Kim’s last blog post..Get On The Bus, Gus

#21 by feener on April 3, 2008 - 6:48 AM

i used to behave like this at least 2 to 3 times a week. i am on lexapro and now i only act like that maybe once a week ??

feener’s last blog post..Running and stress fracture question ?

#22 by Shannon on April 3, 2008 - 7:03 AM

I totally hear you! I bang on random household objects to “punish” them several times a week. It doesn’t make me feel better, but it feels like the only thing to do at the time.

Shannon’s last blog post..lock down

#23 by AnnD on April 3, 2008 - 7:11 AM

I hope you have a great day today!!!

AnnD’s last blog post..W O R D L E S S W E D N E S D A Y

#24 by Lou Lohman on April 3, 2008 - 7:41 AM

Feeling a little hormonal, are we?? Perhaps it might be wise for John to tell the neighbors. After all, Tennessee is the land of the hillbilly, pickup truck and gun rack and I don’t think anybody around you should be leaving guns and ammo anywhere YOU can find it – at least, not without warning.

Lou Lohman’s last blog post..Hidden, a 100 Word Challenge

#25 by Jacki on April 3, 2008 - 7:42 AM

LOL. Oh I can so relate to this post!! I am like this a few days before I start my monthly cycle. And Peter knows not to say anything or make any unexpected moves. And I know if I have been unusually bitchy if he gently tells me that I need to go to Borders to “relax” with a cup of coffee and read some magazines.

Jacki’s last blog post..No Passport Required: Copenhagen (Part 1 of ??)

#26 by Fianna on April 3, 2008 - 7:50 AM

It is one of those months for me…

Around these parts, we call it not handling the ADL’s well. Those normal activities of daily living simply kill me.

Alarm clocks. Cats. Weather. Hate Hate Hate. And I have only been up oh 30 minutes.

Fake it till you can make it is another irritating phrase I overuse.

Feel free to steal these stupid phrases. Or Not.

Fianna’s last blog post..Walk This Way

#27 by Hannah Specter on April 3, 2008 - 7:57 AM

Flinging a little poo could be very thereputic.

…I may have been the midget shopping with you. Sorry

Hannah Specter’s last blog post..Slaves Are People Too

#28 by Z on April 3, 2008 - 8:00 AM

I know those days. Oh, how I do. Glad to hear things picked up at the zoo and there is no poo-flinging (by you, at least) going on in the Sarcastic Mom home… yet…

Z’s last blog post..WARNING: Feet Pictures Ahead

#29 by sam on April 3, 2008 - 8:06 AM

I’ve had so many of those days. I feel ya.

My husband thinks I’ve completely lost my mind, I’m beginning to wonder of he’s right.

sam’s last blog post..Recounting Some of My Hardest Days

#30 by amy on April 3, 2008 - 8:20 AM

Sucks to have days like that. I know. I hope it’s better SOON!

amy’s last blog post..The Second Guess

#31 by Shannon on April 3, 2008 - 8:27 AM

My husband is glad to know that my behavior today seems to be normal and I am not the only irrational, overly emotional female in the world. He also says he feels John’s pain.

Shannon’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday-What’s so interesting?

#32 by Kitty on April 3, 2008 - 8:46 AM

It’s like u get that feeling-this day ain’t gonna be so great…and you just know.

#33 by Kelly on April 3, 2008 - 8:56 AM

Oh, girl. I have SO been there. I am glad (for your family’s sake) that you snapped out of it once at the zoo. I don’t. when I am in one of those funks, I can’t get out of it and I piss everyone around me right off!

Kelly’s last blog post..I should probably document these things…

#34 by Michelle on April 3, 2008 - 9:25 AM

I am so glad I’m not the only one who has those irrationally bitchy days. No poo flinging here either – probably for the best because then someone would have to clean it up and I don’t want to deal with any clean up aftermath of my irrationally bitchy days.

Michelle’s last blog post..Back to mommy blogging

#35 by Angeline on April 3, 2008 - 9:34 AM

When I have days like that, it takes alot of deep breaths…in and out…much like in labour….to cool myself down.

Angeline’s last blog post..Children See, Children Do

#36 by Angela on April 3, 2008 - 9:37 AM

I absolutely HATE those days! I have one at least one every other week… Lately sometimes more! And it is sooo hard for me to “snap out of it”. I’ll be mad if I want to be mad!

Angela’s last blog post..Things You Didn’t Know About Me

#37 by A Lil' Irish Lass on April 3, 2008 - 9:57 AM

Oh my God, Lotus. That’s me to a tee today. Actually, all this week. I am a psycho-deranged lunatic. I hate my period! I hate my ovaries! I hate my hormones! AHHHHH!!!!!

A Lil’ Irish Lass’s last blog post..The Ties That Bind

#38 by Jessica on April 3, 2008 - 9:58 AM

I had an evening like this last week. My day had been great, but when I came home to make dinner, it went in the toilet. My girls wanted hot chocolate, which when trying to make I couldn’t stir, just spill all over the cupboards, so threw the mugs in the sink. Only one was ceramic, so that mug doesn’t live here anymore.
I wedged my finger between the 425 degree rack and a pizza and burned the crap out of my ring finger. Then my hubby came in while I was swearing and said “Are you going to live?” Which was the wrong answer! Needless to say, after all that pissyness on my side, and wrong questions on his, he slept on the couch that night and the children went willingly to bed. Sometimes my crazy leaks out despite my meds.

Jessica’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday

#39 by Deb (Missives From Suburbia) on April 3, 2008 - 10:07 AM

Sometimes it really pisses me off when my husband is breathing in my vicinity. What is up with that?

Fling some poo next time. I bet it will make you feel much better.

((HUGS))

Deb (Missives From Suburbia)’s last blog post..I Knew It

#40 by konkurrencer.org on April 3, 2008 - 10:15 AM

Your rants made me laugh but I understand you. Those pills are really the culprit why women feel depressed and easily get irritated…and worst, pills can sometime cause weight gain too. But when these happen, it is really best to breathe some air outside than be grumpy inside your house all day.

konkurrencer.org’s last blog post..Vind gavekort på 3.000 kr. til Bilka

#41 by Kellyology on April 3, 2008 - 10:36 AM

This is me when I went off of the pill too. I still refuse to go back on. Instead everyone else just gets to deal with my crazy.

Kellyology’s last blog post..Starving Kelly – I blame it on Twitter.

#42 by Sue on April 3, 2008 - 10:48 AM

I can so relate. I don’t fling poo (yet) either.

Sue’s last blog post..Dude! A Bra Made of Bacon

#43 by Robyn on April 3, 2008 - 11:05 AM

I hear you.I have days like that too – and feel like shaving my hair off, like it would solve all my problems. Probably would only cause more!

Robyn’s last blog post..april two

#44 by Nikki on April 3, 2008 - 11:28 AM

Gosh, what is it hormonally about having kids that turns us into these neurotic people?!?! I have lived your day so many times and felt totally helpless to do anything about it. Until I had kids, you would never know if I was hormonal or not unless I told you. Since then, anxiety and up/down drastic hormone moods is the norm for about 1 week a month. I still have to work on the anxiety other times but at least can hold my own. My YAZ birth control helped since it has an anti-anxiety component but I have a feeling this roller coaster is here to stay…yuck!

#45 by Mackenzie's Momma on April 3, 2008 - 11:47 AM

Oh *****HUGS***** Lotus. I too had one of those days yesterday, and then a certain ‘friend’ showed up *UGHS!* I have a fracking fancy dinner that requires a dress tonight!

Mackenzie’s Momma’s last blog post..It’s A……..

#46 by Ree on April 3, 2008 - 12:06 PM

hoo buddy. believe me, no one underestimates our Lotus.

Ree’s last blog post..I Am the Great and Powerful Ree

#47 by Christie on April 3, 2008 - 12:09 PM

Ack, I hate mornings like that – though I am glad to hear it improved for you!

Christie’s last blog post..A project

#48 by Law Student Hot Mama on April 3, 2008 - 12:09 PM

I find that the computer is particularly malicious. When I hit it, it not only fails to somehow “un-freeze,” but it turns off and won’t turn on again.

Cheeky biotch.

Law Student Hot Mama’s last blog post..The Chomp Chomp

#49 by Ashley on April 3, 2008 - 12:11 PM

lol glad you snapped out of your funk. That’s how I feel like most days lately. Only, I sort of know WHY…I just can’t fix it.

Glad you are feeling better!

Ashley’s last blog post..So many memes!

#50 by melissa on April 3, 2008 - 12:14 PM

You have been in my head… I can totally relate!
Glad your day improved…and you didnt shave your head!

#51 by Baby Mama aka Tamra on April 3, 2008 - 12:18 PM

I was such a nice, levelheaded, patient person… before kids.
This past month I cracked the bathroom light switch, broke the wooden door on our bedroom armoire and split a kitchen wooden spoon. All during tantrums. My tantrums.
It’s fun reading about other people’s fits, though!

Baby Mama aka Tamra’s last blog post..What a mess

#52 by Tracy on April 3, 2008 - 12:31 PM

After I had my babies, I had horrible post partum depression. My son is two and I’m just now starting to feel better from it.
I know exactly what you’re talking about. There were days when I felt like I was a pressure cooker and I was just waiting to see what tiny thing was finally going to make me blow my top.
I found your blog in a round about way and I think it’s really great.

Tracy’s last blog post..Secretly I Love Them

#53 by Kay on April 3, 2008 - 12:35 PM

Oh the ugly head of PMS. It happens to me now and then but when I was younger it happened every month. Most of the time it was the week before so I was always WTF is wrong with me.
Thank goodness it passes nearly as quick as it comes, I still feel for my hubby and kid back in those days!

Kay’s last blog post..Proof they are mine

#54 by TEOM? on April 3, 2008 - 12:49 PM

“Was exceedingly fat all morning. ”

Me too.

TEOM?’s last blog post..Resolution Tuesday: Who’se the parent here, anyway?

#55 by Irene on April 3, 2008 - 12:58 PM

Oh yeah, been there, done that. Those are the days that I finally decide to put on my favorite jeans with big ole holes in the knees and my ragged sweater that fits just perfectly. They never make me feel fat and always make me feel so much better. Then I try to not leave the house.

Irene’s last blog post..Finally, a FLOWER!!! With a couple flower photography tips..

#56 by rye on April 3, 2008 - 3:04 PM

HAHA! I can COMPLETELY relate

But, um … what if you’ve flung dog poo? Does that put you over the line?? Hypothetically speaking, of course!

#57 by AMomTwoBoys on April 3, 2008 - 3:25 PM

The zoo fixes everything.

Except for our most recent trip, which happened to coincide with the first weekday of Spring Break AND the middle of the COMPLETE re-design of the entire center section of the zoo. Can you say cluster-f*ck?

Hope today is a good day!

#58 by Summer on April 3, 2008 - 3:26 PM

I hate morning like that. I blew up last week over taking the kids out for a treat, when it was my idea in the first place. *sigh* Hormones suck

Summer’s last blog post..When Music and Politics Collide

#59 by Tara R on April 3, 2008 - 3:39 PM

tee hee… damn stove totally should have listened to you!

I blogged about you today.. just thought I’d let you know
http://tarasviewoftheworld.blogspot.com/2008/04/sarcastic-lotus.html

Tara R’s last blog post..Sarcastic Lotus

#60 by Tootsie Farklepants on April 3, 2008 - 3:50 PM

I have so had those unexplained mood days. I also often take it out on inanimate objects.

Tootsie Farklepants’s last blog post..Senseo. I’ll Give You a Hint: It’s not a Ninja

#61 by Karleigh on April 3, 2008 - 3:54 PM

**virtual hug** I know it doesn’t help, but it’s all I can do so far away.

#62 by Cat on April 3, 2008 - 3:56 PM

Smile!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DBuk91phkI

Cat’s last blog post..Tonight I read…

#63 by anne on April 3, 2008 - 4:34 PM

I think you and I were separated at birth. I love it (heh) when you (and by “you” I mean myself, of course!) get in the funk, KNOW full well you are in the funk, take it out on loved ones and objects all around you, and yet you just cannot pull yourself out of it. You must carry it through to completion. My husband is a saint.

No one could ever say we’re boring, though.

anne’s last blog post..senora crankypants offers amends for her foo

#64 by Eve on April 3, 2008 - 4:48 PM

I used to have days like that brought on by PMS or, alternatively, bill-paying. I’m better now. After the hysterectomy that I told the doctor I needed at least a year before she finally agreed and getting rid of the hormones that I didn’t want to take anyway (I threw them out after about 3 months) my disposition got lots better. And I learned to pay the bills when no one was around so that all my yelling was over with by the time I had to be nice.

Now I have a granddaughter who is 10 1/2. She is beginning to have days like this. We are all planning to move out and leave the house to her once puberty fully arrives.

Neither of us has ever thrown poo, either.

Eve’s last blog post..13 Things To Do Today

#65 by mah-meeee on April 3, 2008 - 5:41 PM

ahahahahahahahaha… you are so funny. i once again sat here in my sad little cube laughing out loud. my co-workers must think i’m a lunatic too.

but you decribe it so well…. all of us goes through those days that left us feeling like we need to fling poo.

mah-meeee’s last blog post..My Mommy-peeves

#66 by Lisa- Domestic Accident on April 3, 2008 - 5:45 PM

Flinging poo makes you feel so much better! Give it a try. It worked for all my babies. Let me know if I can send you some hand sanitizer.

#67 by the planet of janet on April 3, 2008 - 5:59 PM

there is always a first time, ya know.

and i hear there is plenty of ammunition, provided by that darling child of yours…

the planet of janet’s last blog post..Them’s the breaks, featuring a cast of thousands

#68 by AFRo on April 3, 2008 - 6:13 PM

Sorry, but I have to be a smartass and warn you to be careful of using the monkey term regardless of the context. (I posted on it earlier this week.) LOL.

AFRo’s last blog post..Metropolitan Readiness Test

#69 by A Whole Lot of Nothing on April 3, 2008 - 7:16 PM

Looks like someone’s got a case of the Mondays.

A Whole Lot of Nothing’s last blog post..T13: 100 Things: #41-60

#70 by Tara R. on April 3, 2008 - 7:22 PM

Can’t tell you how many times I’ve taken a spatula to my stove… it does make you feel better.

Tara R.’s last blog post..Random Wednesday

#71 by Beth on April 3, 2008 - 7:27 PM

I hate those days too. And I have them too often lately. TOO often.

Beth’s last blog post..Hangin’ Out at the Dirty Doughnut Shop

#72 by Tasina on April 3, 2008 - 9:39 PM

You know what upsets me about reading your blog? I learn weird shit about myself….like…I really really kind of WANT you to fling poo at something…just so…y’know…I can retell the story to other people. Just think of me as that teeny tiny devil sitting on your shoulder whispering….”do it dude…fling away…that’s so freakin’ awesome…dooooooooo itttttttt”

Tasina’s last blog post..Back….by popular demand…or…other

#73 by Angie on April 3, 2008 - 10:00 PM

I’ve had many of these days myself, dear. Write it off, apologize to the hubby, have a drink and move on. There’s no explaining it, blame it on being a woman and those damn hormones. We’re entitled to freak out every now and then.

It look like neither one of us are alone – look at all the comments!

Angie’s last blog post..April Letters – #3

#74 by Secret Agent Mama on April 3, 2008 - 10:08 PM

Must be the week; I’ve been feeling like this a lot this week. You ready to start your “time of the month”? I am. LOL

Anyway…………..

I think I’ll go fling some poo now. Thanks for the reminder. I hear it works wonders.
xxoo

Secret Agent Mama’s last blog post..love thursday

#75 by peppylady on April 3, 2008 - 10:11 PM

Are you sure it isn’t PMS?

peppylady’s last blog post..Hooky Thing, What is it?

#76 by 'cuz I'm the mommy, that's ehy on April 3, 2008 - 10:19 PM

You really should try flinging poo. It’s very cathartic. Ask the Poose. Just yesterday he pricticed his curveball, his sinker, and I pray NOT his spitball.

‘cuz I’m the mommy, that’s ehy’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen – Bored at Work?

#77 by 'cuz I'm the mommy, that's ehy on April 3, 2008 - 10:26 PM

by the way check out http://daffybananas.blogspot.com/ for some anonymous anger venting. If you email daffybananas@gmail.com, they will let you post and get your rant on! And it’s off the radar pretty well!

#78 by janethesane on April 3, 2008 - 10:27 PM

My long lost twin! I love hearing that I am not the only insane one in the world.

janethesane’s last blog post..A Whinge, a Question, and a Meme

#79 by amanda on April 3, 2008 - 11:01 PM

You know, when Britney shaved her head, I was all, “she stole my idea! I’ve wanted to shave my head like 5,000 times.” Not really, but you know, I’ve felt like it. By the way, were the monkeys regular monkeys or the red-funky assed kind?

amanda’s last blog post..Some Allie for Your Thoughts