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81 comments


  • I wish I could say 24 hours will help. A whole bunch of 24 hours strung together will help eventually…but there will be reminders and due dates to get past. I’m so sorry – it is such a hard thing and so few people get it unless they have been there. It is an ugly club to belong to. Wish I could offer something to help with the healing.

    Michelle’s last blog post..Catch up

    May 03, 2008
  • Hang in there, Lotus. Time takes time, and grief is a process that cannot be rushed. I’m still grieving.

    Maggie’s Mind’s last blog post..Haiku (Hai-r-Ku-t) Friday 5/2/08

    May 03, 2008
  • Can I rephrase what I wrote a little? I do think that you are onto something about getting closer to whole each 24 hours. Day by day time does heal more and more, even if some days are harder and then easier and then harder again while still moving to the other side of the worst of the grief. Time helps make it suck less the further along you go.

    Maggie’s Mind’s last blog post..Haiku (Hai-r-Ku-t) Friday 5/2/08

    May 03, 2008
  • i will keep you in my thoughts. it will be good again.

    missy wiggins’s last blog post..The Apocalypse Has Begun

    May 03, 2008
  • Oh Lotus I just want to squish you with hugs. This is the hardest part, it will pass, the pain will numb but you won’t forget, you can never forget and you will find yourself at the time of the due date, feeling these pangs again, and the anniversary but then time will be kind and let you live again in between the other parts.

    I have done it 3 times. I in no way ever wanted to be an “expert” in this kind of thing but fate decided differently.

    If you ever need to get it out, just email me! I will listen!

    Kay (Special K)’s last blog post..Love from my Devil Pup

    May 03, 2008
  • I’m so sorry for all the hurt you’re feeling. As others have said, it takes time. I was taken a bit aback at the photo you posted, but only because I was so moved at your honesty. The fact that you’re not afraid to face your feelings or to share them will hopefully help you. You are a strong woman. I’ve been thinking of you often.

    Walking With Scissors’s last blog post..Feelgood 80s Bangs

    May 03, 2008
  • Bri

    I still cry every once in a while, a year later. It does get easier and the pieces that your heart has shattered into will fit back together again. Hang in there, Lotus, and feel whatever you need to feel for as long as you need to feel it. We will listen.

    ((hugs))

    Bri’s last blog post..Exsqueeze Me? Baking Powder?

    May 03, 2008
  • river

    This is a hard time, but it will pass and you’ll be fine.

    May 03, 2008
  • I’m so so sorry honey, lots of love xxx

    Marylin’s last blog post..Haiku Friday #not got a clue!

    May 03, 2008
  • Oh sweetie. I am holding you close in my thoughts, even though you are so far away.

    xxx

    Veronica’s last blog post..Children For Sale

    May 03, 2008
  • Lotus, John & Braden-
    We at ‘cuz I’m the mommy are so saddened by your loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all at this unbearably hard time. We admire your bravery in sharing this pain with us. Pay no attention to all the snarky people in the world, hold onto each other, and eventually life will resume. Take care of yourselves!

    ‘cuz I’m the mommy, that’s why’s last blog post..Super Saturday – My 100th Post!!

    May 03, 2008
  • Taz

    thinking of you hun..

    big hugs..

    Taz’s last blog post..27 Weeks Old

    May 03, 2008
  • I’m so sorry.

    May 03, 2008
  • I’m not sure what to say. I want to say something, anything, to comfort you. Just know that we’re all here thinking of you. HUGS!

    wright’s last blog post..Haiku Friday – Getting Personal with Aunt Flo

    May 03, 2008
  • I’m so sorry. Be brave, you have many people who want to support you.

    calicobebop’s last blog post..More lols… Because it’s Friday!

    May 03, 2008
  • Still praying, still sending hugs & loving thoughts your way…..

    HappyCampers’s last blog post..It’s The Mr. Creepy Show!

    May 03, 2008
  • Jenty

    (((HUGS)))

    Jenty’s last blog post..3 hours is all I have

    May 03, 2008
  • I want to hug you.

    Rebecca’s last blog post..Photo Hunt: Time

    May 03, 2008
  • I am so sorry.

    RubiaLala’s last blog post..MIL E-Mail

    May 03, 2008
  • Deb

    I would feel scared too. Anything and everything you feel is ok. Let yourself feel. I’m praying for you.

    Deb’s last blog post..Coming Attractions…

    May 03, 2008
  • Sometimes, sweet Lotus, the only thing that got me through intense sad times was the mantra: “Nothing lasts forever, the good or the bad.” It meant to me that I would not always feel this way. And it helped me have some hope. Because feeling this way sucks.
    You are in my heart.

    witchypoo’s last blog post..Grown Children Confess

    May 03, 2008
  • Ree

    My friend,

    I cannot reach so far away
    to give you hugs, keep the hurt at bay
    to rub your back, to stroke your head
    to tuck you into a comfy bed,

    Since I can’t be close to you,
    to dry your tears (it’s what I’d do),
    Please know that you are in my heart
    Even though we’re far apart.

    Love,
    Ree

    Ree’s last blog post..Haiku Friday – Argh.

    May 03, 2008
  • You are in my thoughts….daily. ((HUGS))

    JenniferS^N’s last blog post..Betty Crocker Cookbook Link!!!!

    May 03, 2008
  • My heart hurts for you. I too have been where you are too many times. The pain will become less raw, but it will never disappear. Because no matter what you can never forget your babies.

    Faith’s last blog post..Is The Second One Easier?

    May 03, 2008
  • I’m new. I’m not even sure what link I hit to get here, but I just wanted to say, I have been there. In that exact devastating, terrifying, overwhelming spot. Hugs.

    Jill S.’s last blog post..The Prom

    May 03, 2008
  • This post is so beautifully written. You can hear the pain, but you can also hear the healing, in each of the words.

    Good luck, Hon.

    Sarah’s last blog post..Haiku Friday – UPDATED @ 2:37pm

    May 03, 2008
  • Like a previous commenter said, every 24 hours is different. The good 24 hours start coming in more frequently as time passes, you begin to breathe a little easier, the sun starts shining a little brighter each time, and your heart starts healing more and more. Even now with a healthy little one on the way, I still sometimes grieve the two that I lost, but it’s easier to handle, easier to grieve.

    I’m thinking of you every day, praying for comfort and peace for you. This was a beautiful post, and I’m so grateful to you for sharing your heart, no matter how broken and raw it feels.

    anne’s last blog post..and your wallet, too

    May 03, 2008
  • I have no words. I can only give you *hugs*

    May 03, 2008
  • How I wish 24 hours could bring you healing. I know it won’t. You’ll have rough days and rough weeks. Each 24 hours will bring you more seconds, minutes and hours of time where thoughts aren’t all about what you’ve lost.

    I would rush that time. It is hard, yes, I don’t deny that. It’s what makes us more compassionate for other people. We go through some trials so that when another goes through the same trial, we can be there to help them through it.

    I wish I was there to be a shoulder to lean on, to give you a huge hug and let you know it is okay to cry.

    Suzanne’s last blog post..This time…

    May 03, 2008
  • My heart continues to break for you.

    Advertising seems trashy now, so I won’t. I’ll just keep praying for you!

    Allison (aka AngelGal)’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday #3 – First in 5 Years!

    May 03, 2008
  • I’m so sorry this happened to you. I had a miscarriage July 1999. Time will make it easier to bear.
    I will keep you in my prayers.

    Wendy’s last blog post..Happy happy joy joy

    May 03, 2008
  • hang on babe! its hard, its tougher than what most people can imagine…it takes time, it needs time to heal…maybe months or years, but it will heal, it will and when that happens, it takes the fear away too…it will, it will

    Angeline’s last blog post..Mothers’ Day?

    May 03, 2008
  • Hugs. I’ll pray for you.

    seven’s last blog post..Hoh. Lee. Crap.

    May 03, 2008
  • Oh, I am so very sad. I do home that you aren’t mad at God, He is crying with you, as are we.

    Marye~’s last blog post..I’m only Human

    May 03, 2008
  • Kat

    ****hugs*****
    Lots of love your way, sweet girl. I’m glad you have your boys to cheer you and love you and keep you coming back to what is here and now and in the future.

    May 03, 2008
  • MP

    I would like to 2nd what Ree said above..I wish we had hugovision through our computer so I could hold you while you cry..or take Branden to the park so you can sob in private w/ your hunny…
    {{we’re here}}

    MP’s last blog post..GO VOTE FOR JEAN!!!

    May 03, 2008
  • Oh Mama. We love you, and I know that doesn’t help the inside hurt, but I hope we all collectively can help the surface hurt. Let all the love in.

    A Whole Lot of Nothing’s last blog post..Photohunt: Time – Telling

    May 03, 2008
  • Sending you lots and lots of hugs. xoxo

    Tootsie Farklepants’s last blog post..Apparently I Wasn’t Clear

    May 03, 2008
  • Tim

    So sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

    Tim’s last blog post..David Blaine: Brainless Houdini

    May 03, 2008
  • I am so, so, so sorry …and will send you, will you, strength.

    (and you know how I feel about hugs) :)

    cookiebitch’s last blog post..WHAT I LEARNED AT MANAGEMENT TRAINING

    May 03, 2008
  • I know the deep pain you are feeling. I know the anger and frustration. Hold on to hope and pray for strength instead of fear. I’ll pray with you.

    Understand that a miscarriage is a emotional pain that will only cease when you are ready. In your own time, in your own way. I know that I have cried to God, begging him to give me an answer as to why he hurts me sometimes. He answered me, in his own way.

    I guess what I am trying to say is that grief is a difficult process and you just take your time and find inner peace. So many are holding you up in prayer right now. Cry, Cry, and then Cry somemore. And when you don’t wanna cry anymore then don’t cry anymore. It’s all healthy, it’s all part of the grief process.

    It sucks that I know too much about this! I hope my words help in some sort of little way.

    God Bless.

    Krissy’s last blog post..Keeping it REAL!

    May 03, 2008
  • As I read, I thought, “I hope every 24 hours gets a little easier.” You obviously have your fingers crossed for the same. Maybe lots of people thinking this together and letting you know will help for the coming 24 hours.

    Jenski’s last blog post..So close

    May 03, 2008
  • Oh Lotus, I’m so very sorry. My heart aches for you. I wish there was something I could say or do that could help. But I know there isn’t. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Sending you many *hugs*.

    Sandy (Momisodes)’s last blog post..Four Time

    May 03, 2008
  • Lotus, my dear sweet, sarcastic Lotus. My heart hurts, for you and for your baby. It will get better. I promise. We had a full term, still born baby girl on December 11th, 1980. Annie still cries. We both still hurt. But she cries far less frequently now, than she did then. And it’s okay. It’s okay to hurt and to cry and to try to imagine what could have been – what might have been. Just don’t let it rule you. Don’t let the grief take you over. That baby will always be a part of your life now. Make it a good part. Because it would have been a good baby.

    lceel’s last blog post..A busy day again

    May 03, 2008
  • Amy

    I am just so sorry for your loss. I’m glad you have your husband and beautiful little boy to hold so tightly too and they can hold so tightly back at this time.

    Again, I am sorry and I will certainly pray for the healing of your heart.

    Amy’s last blog post..10 Smile Tuesday

    May 03, 2008
  • oh sweet heart, please just know that your sweet baby IS a real baby with a real soul – no matter how short of a time she or he was with you – it is good and right to grieve. Even though it feels like you will never be whole again. It helped me to remember and continually remind myself that my 4 sweet babies went straight to the arms of Jesus. They are real people and I really had them inside me, albeit briefly. And now they are happy and whole and perfect and being perfectly cared for in heaven until I see them face to face someday. And I really believe that I will know them and they will know me as their mommy.

    It has been almost 3 years since my last miscarriage and although I don’t forget time HAS healed my heart. And I will pray for that healing for you. Cling to that sweet boy of yours and allow yourself the time your heart and body need to heal. Those pregnancy emotions don’t just disappear the minute you miscarry. It takes several months for your body to return to normal again.

    Beautiful portrait. It really does express your heart.

    Tara R’s last blog post..Please VOTE FOR ME!!!!

    May 03, 2008
  • I am so sorry, Lotus.

    julie’s last blog post..Duh.

    May 03, 2008
  • Katie

    You are such a beautiful person, Lotus. Sometimes the worst situations have a way of reminding us about the beauty in life. The beauty in joy, hope and even shattering pain. Life is delicate and graceful and I am sure that God is no less. Your little one will be with you Always.

    Much Love and Prayers

    Katie

    May 03, 2008
  • Lotus, sweetheart – there is a brand new site populated by fabulous writers called Glow In The Woods dot com that is for mothers’ grief and loss – please wander over there if you think it would help.

    I hope for peace for you.

    daysgoby’s last blog post..christopher

    May 03, 2008
  • Everything I want to say has been said.

    ((((((((lotus))))))))))

    loveyh’s last blog post..OCD is Not Just Obsessive Handwashing

    May 03, 2008
  • Oh Lotus. You will be whole again. I’m convinced.

    In the Trenches of Mommyhood’s last blog post..Before & After (Home Makeover Edition Part 1)

    May 03, 2008
  • I am so sooo sorry for your loss. I wish I had some miraculous healing words of wisdom, but even having been through this pain more than once myself…I don’t. I wish I did. :(

    (((Lotus)))

    Janne’s last blog post..Encouraging Children to Write

    May 03, 2008
  • Oh sweetheart. I wont say anything… I will just hold you close and let you cry…

    kim xxx

    frogpondsrock’s last blog post..Mystery object revealed.. tadaa!!!

    May 03, 2008
  • I love your blog, and I am still sending my prayers and lots of hugs your way.

    Rachael’s last blog post..TWO

    May 03, 2008
  • Humans have one advantage, time heals … you will never forget but with the time you won’t suffer anymore. I hope for you that this time comes quick !

    May 03, 2008
  • HRH

    Love ya.

    HRH’s last blog post..An essay in favor of laundry…

    May 04, 2008
  • I’ve just been reading. I have had no words.

    You are loved. Very much. You have our support. Take all the time you need to heal . . .

    Laskigal’s last blog post..Just a Mom?

    May 04, 2008
  • Amanda

    Lotie – I haven’t called you that in awhile, but I’m sitting up tonight remembering some of our first chats and how we bonded as friends so quickly.

    I never imagined you’d have to face a loss like this, and I’m so so so sorry that you had to be caught in an emotional whirlwind in just a matter of weeks.

    As your other friends said, you’ll never stop grieving, but you’ll eventually come to terms with it. I firmly believe that God sent you an angel, just like John said. Just don’t blame yourself, ever. You are the greatest mommy in the world, and no one could have loved your baby more. I love you, and know that you’re always in the prayers.

    May 04, 2008
  • I can’t sleep tonight because at 3 AM, it’s the 3-week mark for the official miscarriage (and 3 weeks and 2 days since it ‘started’) . And so I come here, and see you suffering through the 1-week mark. I get it. I feel your pain.

    Tonight is hard. There are still moments that are hard. But I am finding more joy and happiness than pain and sorrow. It is getting a little easier. I will never forget – no, never! But I pray that it will continue to get a little easier as time goes on.

    Karen’s last blog post..Iron Man

    May 04, 2008
  • All I am going to do is offer a great big huge hug – because I never know what to say in times like this, but just so you know my heart is breaking for you.

    Kittilicious’s last blog post..Camera Critters, Weekly Winners & Weekend Snapshot for 5.4.

    May 04, 2008
  • Amanda

    You’re always in my prayers, I mean. You were the first thought in my mind this morning. Love you.

    May 04, 2008
  • So sorry.

    Meredith’s last blog post..I Need a Break

    May 04, 2008
  • Melanie

    I know that you have no idea who I am but there is help out there. I have done this three times in the last year. I know exactly how you feel. Your doctor should be able to give you the resources to help cope with this awful loss. I am still praying for you and your husband.

    Melanie’s last blog post..LBP

    May 04, 2008
  • Jerinda

    I’m so sorry.

    Jerinda’s last blog post..Weekly Winners

    May 04, 2008
  • Lotus. I’m so sorry.

    Beck’s last blog post..We’re all going to staaaaaaarve!

    May 04, 2008
  • I am very very sorry….
    Life sure dues a grand job of kicking us in the teeth.

    Nothing I say will make you feel better….but just know your sisters are all out there for you

    May 04, 2008
  • let it roll, girl, let it roll. good for you.

    Dawn’s last blog post..I’m never watching “The Toy” again…

    May 04, 2008
  • Oh, sweetie.

    I have been there. It has been six years, and I remember it like it was yesterday.

    Hugs and blessings to you.

    Angella’s last blog post..I Scream, You Scream

    May 04, 2008
  • I am so, so sorry…
    take care of you.

    Elaine’s last blog post..Wipe It All Away

    May 04, 2008
  • i’m so very sorry, lotus and wish i could give you a hug.

    thinking of you…

    Crunchy Domestic Goddess’s last blog post..Moo, Baa, La La La (Best Shot Monday 5/5/08)

    May 05, 2008
  • I’m so sorry. It seems that many of us go through it, and although we have experienced the pain (7 years ago), no words can truly help. I’ll be thinking of you and sending hugs your way…

    Elissa’s last blog post..TIP

    May 05, 2008
  • Michelle

    Oh dear. I am so sorry and wanted to send many hugs your way and let you know I am thinking of you. It is important to experience all the emotions and I know it’s not fair. My very first baby was a miscarriage at 13 weeks (just when I thought I was out of the woods the bleeding started, the pain, I remember it all too clearly).

    You are a strong woman, a wonderful Mother and person and will survive.

    May 05, 2008
  • Joe

    When we went for our forth we ended in similar results. I feel for you and your husband. It really didn’t hit me, mourning the incident, until six months later. It was like I was trying to be all strong or something and not coming to terms with it. I am so very sorry for the both of you and empathize with your difficult situation. It sux and it just happens.

    May 05, 2008
  • I read this yesterday, but didn’t comment. I still don’t know what to say, but you have been at the top of my mind and heart… just wanted you to know…. {hugs}

    jennyonthespot’s last blog post..“Aaaaaaand, FREEZE!”

    May 07, 2008
  • this pains me beyond belief. it makes me wonder if everyone pregnant woman talks to her belly and says, hey you alright in there if there’s a twinge. it makes me wonder.. wonder.. wonder..

    jill’s last blog post..May Poetic License

    May 07, 2008
  • That picture of you says so much. I cannot say I’ve ever been through what you are going through but your strength is inspirational.

    May 08, 2008
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