What it means to be a Crayon Nazi, by Lotus Carroll.
- Crayons are stored in a closeable box, and said box is kept out of child’s reach.
- Child may have crayons and drawing paper if it is requested.
- Child may draw only on paper with crayons.
- Child with crayons must be supervised at all times.
- I repeat: When child has crayons, you must stay in the room and supervise crayon use.
- At no time may child be allowed to wander away from paper while still holding crayon.
- If child has crayon(s) in hand, child must stay in room with you.
- Seriously. CHILD MAY NOT LEAVE ROOM OR YOUR SUPERVISION WHEN IN POSSESSION OF CRAYON(S).
- When child becomes bored with drawing, crayons are placed in box, box is closed and placed out of reach.
What it means to have a Daddy who doesn’t understand
what it means to be a Crayon Nazi, by Braden Carroll:
Son Expresses His Inner Artist On Walls Of Kitchen
Yup. John let Braden wander out of supervision with a green crayon.
Braden is notorious for doing wrong things with green crayons.
The only thing John had going for him was that this happened when he left the room to do laundry.
For future reference – You can do almost no wrong if you are doing laundry for me.
Also, I can’t very well be too high and mighty. It’s not as if Braden hasn’t marked on walls or made other spectacularly astounding messes on my watch. 
Besides, I should really be touched that, of all the things he could have drawn on the kitchen wall, Braden chose to do a rendering of me and my glorious rack. Look at the photo of his scribbles again and see if you can isolate the stick figure with the nice bust. He’s talented.
HEY! Speaking of Racks! Don’t forget to send me a photo of your BEWBS or your PECS to enter the contest to be the next stop for The Travelling T-Shirt! Read THIS POST to find out about how you can join the fun and win a chance at a cash jackpot.
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Hecticmom Undone
Four Words for you: Mr. Clean Magic Eraser
Seriously… Best thing for crayon (or markers, or chalk, or paint, or speghetti sauce) on the walls, hearth, doors, floor or toilets….
Trust me on this one…
Hecticmom Undone’s last blog post..First Plunge in the Pool
Mr Lady
Even better….one can of aerosol hairspray, one sponge, one father doing penance, and no scrubbing.
Mr Lady’s last blog post..Where’s Waldo?
lilacspecs
Wait till he starts biting the tips off of markers and showing up with black or green tongue/gums. That’s always fun…especially when he figures out that he can spit in colors.
lilacspecs’s last blog post..Dona Nobis Pacem
Paloma
My six year old gave my four year old tattoos all over her body (with black marker) while I was reading other people’s blogs the other day. (I am such a FINE parent)
Just thought I would get that out there.
Paloma’s last blog post..I Like to eat Berries
zoeyjane
all of those nazi rules? we have the EXACT SAME ONES, after my kitchen was rendered a canvass with black crayon. my girl? total goth.
zoeyjane’s last blog post..Step One and Two are in Effect (and Three)
Walking With Scissors
My nearly six year old? Likes to draw on his own face…
Walking With Scissors’s last blog post..Beautiful AND Talented
the planet of janet
what? and stifle his creativity??????
pish tosh, girl. that child has talent. you must let it flourish and grow …
(but i second the vote for mr. clean magic eraser
)
the planet of janet’s last blog post..The weekend from hell … a memoir
Twitter: planetofjanet
Kara - down to earth mommy
Not only do I see the wonderful rendering of you, but I also see an Amazing uppercase “A”
Now that’s talent!
Kara – down to earth mommy’s last blog post..What else is a blog for
river
Yup, those rules were in my house too, with one extra. All drawing was done at the kitchen table only. NO EXCEPTIONS. (Except for water colour painting which was done outside in the summer).
I see you in the wall art. Nice rack…….
Taz
hehe..
well written
Taz’s last blog post..Because I Love Her….
Ness
Ha ha ha! You know what? you could have left explicit instructions with your hubby to supervise at all times and being male wouldn’t have noticed anything, and the kid probably would have wound up drawing on the walls anyway right under his nose- because well, men are just less perfect than us females who can smell crayon going onto walls from 5 miles away. I must admit though, my 2.5 yr old (nearly 3yr old) has never been kind enough to draw me on the walls though….hmm.
Ness’s last blog post..Happy Two Months – Yesterday!
Twitter: droversrunness
MizFit
I used to try and work when my daughter wants walking yet and sit her behind me on the office chair, don a sports bar and encourage her to give me a back piece (tattoo) with washable markers.
Id entirely forgotten that till your post!
MizFit’s last blog post..Viewer Mail.
Beth_C
Looks like you better stock up on Magic Erasers!
Beth_C’s last blog post..Four is…
Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near You
I totally agree – the magic eraser works MIRACLES – and truth be told – the ones at the DOLLAR TREE work just as well (and are 1/2 the price). My daughter used to do this all the time. I had to go all crayon nazi on them too. LOL
Dawn @ Coming to a Nursery Near You’s last blog post..Happy Thoughts Please
Veronica
Yeah, it is going to be worth me coming back and reading your comments later to learn all the different ways to remove crayon.
And I can see the magical boob lady.
Veronica’s last blog post..Snippets. Sort of.
AnnD
I love how you saw a picture of you and your rack in his scribbles! Braden loves his mommy’s love cushions!
AnnD’s last blog post..17 months old!
Gordo
Lotus, how did Braden get that high on the wall with the crayon? Or is that a cupboard door?
Gordo’s last blog post..Followed by yet another round of embarassments
Xbox4NappyRash
You should be encouraging his creativity, surely!
Xbox4NappyRash’s last blog post..So you don’t fancy my soul
wright
Too funny! I think the drawing is a great likeness!
wright’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Floating On Air
Christine
You can always put a frame on it and call it his first work….
Crayon Nazi to Crayon Nazi that is….
Christine’s last blog post..The Secret is in the Sauce
Katia
…yeah. I learned my lesson last week when my daughter and her friend got into some acrylic paints from a paint-by-number kit and decided to paint their faces. Acrylic paint? It doesn’t wash off with soap and water. sigh.
Katia’s last blog post..my kickboard is wearing a thong
Angie
WD40 takes crayon off of walls super easy. No scrubbing!!!! Believe me, I’ve been there ( many, many, many times).
Connie
Been there, done that~STILL there, still doing that!!!! LOL!! As a matter of fact, I’ve got 3 works of art on 3 different areas of our house to work on & remove. I agree, MAGIC ERASER & WD40 will be your new best friends
Never heard the hairspray remedy~will have to make a mental note of that!
Connie’s last blog post..Quick, fun MeMe
Christy
Oh boy! At least it’s an easy fix…unlike when say your husband is home with your kids, and falls asleep in his chair, and your 4 yr old cuts her hair…AND her 1 year ol sister’s hair!
No, no. That didn’t happen at my house a few years ago (wink wink).
Christy’s last blog post..Is This Normal?!
Miss Britt
I’m seeing the stick figure.
I’m seeing the BEWBS.
But wait… did your son just draw you with some junk in the trunk? Or is that poo??
Miss Britt’s last blog post..In Which I Owe Grandmas Everywhere An Apology
Shannon
All I can do is laugh! Each of my boys did this. My girl was happy drawing on paper and LOTS of paper! Be thanksful that it is crayon and not say hmmmmm…….. poo, fingerpaint, sharpie markers, blood, or one of the many thing my children have used. We curbed Bradley’s need to do this by buying a sheet of dry erase board and hanging it. Now he has a safe place to draw and I keep my mind, what little there is left.
Shannon’s last blog post..Reading Material
Kim
Okay, I can’t stop laughing at Miss Britt’s comment.. hahahaha
Kim’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – LET ME OUT!
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas
My husband once let a 2.5 year old Shark on the loose with a purple marker. Not crayon. Marker. On the blinds, carpet, couch fabric, walls….The child had to have had 30 minutes alone. I didn’t even ask where hubs was while this happened. I’d have lost my shit completely.
I still have purple marks going up the steps that for some weird reason even Magic Erase won’t take off.
Sigh…
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Parenting
Twitter: amy2boys
Tiffany
HAHA My son does his damage with red crayons. And don’t even ask me about markers. Markers=Hell.
Tiffany’s last blog post..Where the Hell did Spring Go?
Allie
Wow, it all seems so tame. John doesn’t suck, I suck. Wake up today, kid bites dog, dog cries out, dog whips head around to get away and catches kid on head with tooth, now kid cries out. Mom blames kid for biting dog yet dog is sent to solitary bedroom jail. Later Mom tries to navigate baby gate in place so kid does not get to dog water bowl to dunk food and other various objects. Mom trips over gate (9 months pregnant), sees kid and Radio Flyer horse in path of certain destruction, arms flailing wildly in windmill formation, mid-air, manages to push kid out of the way so she doesn’t land on him, scares kid, kid crying again, mom sprains foot and pees a little in process. Honestly, wall drawings would be a blessing, it’s only 11am…
Madness
Madness can relate to the crayon nazi business.
Madness is a Popscicle Nazi… and a Fresh Fruit Nazi.
With the COST of Frest Fruit these days being as rediculous as it is.. and the fact that Madness has FIVE starving children at home, she must threaten her kids with bodily injury if they have the audacity to take a piece of fresh fruit without prior approval.
The popscicle thing.. its because Madness has a PHOBIA for STICKY things. If Madness goes to HELL, she will certainly be damned to being STICKY for all eternity.
Madness damn near hoses her kids down after eating popscicles.
I spotted the stick figure with the nice rack. Hawt.
Madness’s last blog post..Oh. Hell. Yes.
Madness
Madness wonders if John told Lotus that he was doing laundry when said Crayon Offense took place *only because* he knows that it would get him off the hook? Hmmmm .. just a thought.
Madness’s last blog post..Oh. Hell. Yes.
MadameMeow
You know, I totally sympathize with this post… I’ve been told a lot that those Mr Clean Magic Erasers are great for crayon, but seriously, SO EXPENSIVE!! Another alternative is WD-40. It cleans of crayon like NOTHING and mascara too! (Discovered that one the hard way when MiniMeow found my makeup bag and got mascara all over himself and my computer desk…. and my walls… and my nightstand… and my tv… etc.)
Manic Mom
Damn crayons everywhere. This is what I will probably be saying soon. My Kaden has yet to discover those little sticks of joy. But, when he does I will set rules like yours & I too will be a Crayon Nazi. But, just in case I will get a Big Ass thing of WD-40 & that bald mad eraser dude thing!
Manic Mom’s last blog post..My 7 Whys of Wednesday
Michelle
I won’t even allow crayons in our house – that is how much of a crayon nazi I am. I can’t wait until she is older and we can color together but right now it wouldn’t end well. And we rent. She only sees crayons when we go to restaurants that give them out and we leave them behind after dinner. Mean, mean mommy.
Michelle’s last blog post..Dinner for Dummies
Angeline
Probably that explains why Mr. Clean Magic Eraser is a hot product, ‘cos all mommy needs it!
Angeline’s last blog post..Unspectacular Quirks Meme
justmylife
Magic Clean Eraser to the rescue I am sure. But I can see he is talented, maybe you should just frame it. heh!
Little Miss wallpapered her wall with stickers one time, magic eraser did not help, a lot of elbow grease did the trick.
I would get dad to help out, seeing as how he broke the rules! heh!
justmylife’s last blog post..It’s still nasty people!!!!
Kay (Special K)
Me thinks you have a budding Picasso on your hands! I totally see the bewbs! Awesome!
Also remember this and never forget, Magic Eraser is your friend!
Kay (Special K)’s last blog post..Mini Vacay Part 2
Kay (Special K)
Just for future reference because, ahem, I just found this out, but when he is two and finds the Sharpies? Plain old rubbing alchohol takes it off skin, desks, even wood.
Kay (Special K)’s last blog post..Mini Vacay Part 2
Sarah
See my crayon nazi doesn’t even allow crayons except for brief periods of time, and on very rare occassions. The moment one tries to leave the table, the crayons are put away. Although, it’s not like my walls couldn’t use a little color.
Sarah’s last blog post..Opening the floor…
Twitter: sadiecass
RubiaLala
Ga! Step away from the crayons!
RubiaLala’s last blog post..Rocks
Bee Repartee
hehe, you had me at crayon nazi.
ps.
non-stick cooking spray will get it off as well as the aforementioned tips. It helps to have an arsenal for those creative-type children that make the world their canvas.
Bee Repartee’s last blog post..Do I Look Five To You?
Joeprah
Wow, that is nothing, seriously. I will tell you when I post my tale of whoa.
Amy
Time for the Magic Eraser!
Ut Oh! At least it wasn’t a Sharpie!
Amy’s last blog post..Hammer Time
rye
Is it just me, or do those boobs look a little pointy? Has Braden been watching old-school Madonna videos again?? hehe
TX Poppet
Goo Gone was the only stuff that worked on crayon on the walls back when mine were little. Hope it helps.
TX Poppet’s last blog post..But Don’t Give Me The One That Makes Me Look 20 Years Younger
Shannie
Yes, crayons, markers, playdoh, stamps, stickers, tape, applesauce and yogurt are all used at our house to produce very fine art indeed.
Shannie’s last blog post..Wrong Number… (I Hope…)
Barbara
don’t worry, I’m a crayon nazi too – I almost enjoy being terribly strict about the drawing materials. No walls of mine will be defiled (please god). But how talented is he – that is so your rack! I won’t be posting mine on your beautiful site as I wouldn’t want to defile it with a saggy rack.
Barbara’s last blog post..156/366 – Cheeky
Eve
When my daughter was little I thought she was exceptional (well, she was, really). But I digress. She had never marked on a wall with crayon, marker, or pencil. Such a good little girl. Then I started packing to move. When I cleared out her closet and a bit of light got in there it was obvious that she had been coloring the walls for quite some time. And, no, I didn’t get any pictures of her masterpiece.
Eve’s last blog post..Dona Nobis Pacem
regina
Hummm, very artistic!
regina’s last blog post..*Sticky Post* Scroll Down For Newer Posts.
kat
Thank god for magic erasers.
You could perhaps print out the Crayon Nazi rules and affix them to the top of the crayon box?
kat’s last blog post..This Blog is a Work of Fiction
Tanya
I saw the stick figure with the rack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ourcrookedtree
It is always the green ones! If I turn my head a little to the left I see teh stick figure!
ourcrookedtree’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
Elaine
Love his rendition of you – very abstract. Hope it was fairly easy to clean off…
Elaine’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday #19 – First Haircut
Tara R
ah yes, I have had the very same experience… except it was a black permanent marker that daddy didn’t notice in my two sons’ hands.
Tara R’s last blog post..From A Distance book review
Secret Agent Mama
I’m with ya on the Crayon Nazi thing….and Sharpie Nazi….and Lipstick Nazi….and Eye Liner Nazi….
BTDT. Not. Funny.
Secret Agent Mama’s last blog post..Project 365 (286/365)
shannymar
He’s already obsessed with BEWBS. What a little dude.
shannymar’s last blog post..Life lessons from 90’s sitcoms
Deb (Missives From Suburbia)
You look as hot in that crayon rendering as you do in your photos. For that alone, you have to give the kid credit, right?
I’m not a crayon nazi, but so far, my kid seems pretty benign when he wields the Crayolas. Should I be concerned that this is going to change at some point?
Deb (Missives From Suburbia)’s last blog post..Real Observations
Rachael
My kid just eats them. Crayons. Eww….
Rachael’s last blog post..TV Tuesday: Top Chef, SYTYCD, Battlestar Galactica, LOST
Twitter: rachael1013
» Obsessed With Drawing
[...] course, any drawing is cuter than the one he did on the kitchen wall last [...]
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[...] Yeah, so this is what happens when you publicly poke fun at your husband for letting Braden get away from you with a crayon and drawing on the wall. [...]