Yup. Spazzazoid.
After yesterday’s slight moderate okay, huge heart-attack moment, I’m trying to stop shaking like a dorkwad and breathe normally. Why does something like that make me go all bat-turds?
Oh, yeah. Because I’m a slightly moronic Spazzazoid. Yes. I just made up a word. Use it freely.
My plan for today was to keep the “meme drawer” clean and do a couple of these thingies I’ve been tagged for. Because if you’ve been around for awhile, you have seen what can happen when I don’t keep the Meme Drawer Clean. And if you haven’t been around awhile, feel free to click and find out, man. But be warned. That’s a shizzo-lotta crap to read about me.
But hey! If you’re really into getting to know me better you can read about My Eights. Or, if you’d just like to point and laugh at my stupidity… Get In Line. Uh, I meant, you’re in luck, because you can now do that… with such wonderfully embarassing anecdotes as the “floating turd story” and finding out that you’re not alone if you have, indeed, sharted… just by reading this sexy post.
*ahem*
It’s also Thursday Thirteen, and dangit if if I didn’t get my Go-Go-Gadget Brain! in gear and decide to be the incredibly whizzomatic, geniusoriffic, and smartastical person I am (*snort*) by bringing you today’s…
7 Things Meme PLUS 6 Things Meme = Your Fabuloso Thursday Thirteen!
Holy turds, who knew I could add?
I was tagged for the 7 Things Meme by the following awesomeatious persons:
Napaboaniya
Christie
Kat
Vegan Mama
And for the 6 Things Meme by these wonderiffical peeps:
Sarie
Ray
Cookiebitch
13 Random Thoughts that floated through Sarcastic Mom’s head today:
1. Why.do.I.have.to.wake.up?
2. I’m totally unprepared for the first time I catch Braden eating a Booger. Words of advice?
3. I wonder if it’s possible to vote for Coffee for President.
4. Why can’t groceries just regenerate themselves?
5. Kevin & Leroy are still touching me innapropriately.
Hi. This is my backfat.
6. Has anyone’s vag.ina actually ever fallen off?
Hm. I googled it (“vag.ina fell off”) and discovered 2 awesome things.
1. It doesn’t look like there are any documented cases of vag.inas falling off.
2. The #2 Google Hit for that search is on THIS SITE. I’m putting that on my resume.
7. What’s that SMELL?
8. My hand just had to slip while I was checkin the diaper, didn’t it? My finger just HAD to slip into the sh*t, didn’t it???
9. Poop should not be allowed to exist. (Then there wouldn’t be any Scatastrophes.)
10. Tabitha D’umo is still mocking me. Die, whore!
11. I am a good mother. Ignore the picture below and just maintain eye contact with me, damn you.
12. It’s really not that hard to ignore your child’s screaming when it’s coming from inside the closet on the other side of the house. Really.
13. I don’t have to pull any cheap tricks to make people visit my website. It’s just because I’m such a good writer.
“The Rack”
Have a great (rest of) Thursday, friends! And don’t forget… *insert words of wisdom*
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Groovy Mom
The booger question? Don’t worry about preparation, your natural reaction will be priceless and will no doubt encourage Braden to eat many more boogers just so he can watch it over and over.
Groovy Mom’s last blog post..Fifty Pounds – How I Lost Them
Gordo
Words of wisdom … I’m a cub leader and still cackle like a fool when Akela asks for them at closing .. LOL
Continue with the rack pictures to get more votes. I’m just sayin’ …
Gordo’s last blog post..Tom Cruise, Whack-Job
regina
I have an award for you!
regina’s last blog post..More Awards To Pass On! Bare with me…
AMomTwoBoys
Spazzazoid. I like it.
Vagina falling off. I’m curious as to what the #1 hit is
Booger eating advice? My perfect child has NEVER done that. Oh wait. He does it all the time. I haven’t been able to figure out what works, so I’m no help there. At least it’s not other people’s boogers, right?
AMomTwoBoys’s last blog post..And Another Thing..
MommyTime
Isn’t spazzoid, like, something, like, totally 1980s and, like, so totally the big-hair girl way of saying, like, “he’s a TO-tal dork” about the loser boy in 9th grade?
Not to cast any aspersions on your fabuloso ability to invent words. Which is legendary. And much appreciated. Only, I just think those Valley Girls don’t, like, get enough credit for stuff they, like, totally invented themselves. They weren’t all dumb.
Also, who are you tagging for the six+seven meme — or the six (opps, just typed sex and had to fix that typo) AND seven memes? Must stop now before I typo my way into disaster…
MommyTime’s last blog post..Calling All Astronauts
witchypoo
Booger eating: “Would you like a cracker to spread that on?”
witchypoo’s last blog post..Beauty in the Eye of the Beholder
Jodi
the word dorkwad is not used enough. thank you.
Jodi’s last blog post..I Like Cheese
zoeyjane
BEST.TEESHIRT.EVER.
zoeyjane’s last blog post..Not Quite Ready For Potty Training
Dawn
just look away. ( re: booger )
Dawn’s last blog post..Hair Thursday
Veronica
Booger reaction? I have no idea. Knowing our kids, it will probably happen on the same day to both of us.
Of course it is because you are a brilliant writer. No, really it is.
Veronica’s last blog post..Predictability
mikster
I think this post has to be the most sporadic rambling post I’ve read in some time. (I’m all about random posts.) Oddly I kept somewhat focused though.
mikster’s last blog post..So I’ve Been A Slacker
Penelope Anne
You didn’t make up the word…..we were so using it in the eighties baby!!!!!!
You are a spazz though!!!!!
Penelope Anne’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #17 ~ Watched ___ Never ___
Rachel
I love that you keep reviving “The Rack” and all the other favorites!
keep up the letting D’omo kick your tushy and before you know it, Kevin and Leroy will be no more!
I enjoyed your spazztasticness yesterday, truly!
Have fun
Smooches
Rachel’s last blog post..Come on inside, I won’t bite
Cassie
LOL, love your list! Have a great weekend!
Cassie’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen: This Week’s Positives
Mrs Fussypants
Great post!
Mrs Fussypants’s last blog post..Fussy’s Dream Comes True!
Misty Dawn
You have now made my beverage come out my nose (beer really burns the inside of the nose!) I hope you’re happy!
Misty Dawn’s last blog post..From Molly
lceel
There’s that rack again!!!! That’s it. I can resist no longer. I’m going to save the pic and use it as wallpaper – until Annie sees it, of course, and then it’ll be back to the same boring old …..
lceel’s last blog post..Thursday 24 Jan
Twitter: lceel
HRH
Coffee for president totally makes sense. I am willing to join the campaign. Speaking of campaigns, I was sent here to see the OTHER word that should and someday will be in Websters…
HRH’s last blog post..My drug of choice is motherhood…
Z
Um, that whole vagina falling off thing? I have a story I could tell you from taking Med School Anatomy… Yup. It’s not pretty, but it does appeal to those with a morbid sense of humor – like students stuck in Anatomy class…
Z’s last blog post..Here’s the Deal
Di
If coffee is president, then I think there should be a totally hot male “barista” for VP.
Di’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen (Vol. 65)
Mackenzie's Momma
I have NO IDEA how to handle the booger thing… really i am just as dumbstruck as you are about it.
Its really really really really easy to ignore the screaming if you
A) step outside and pretend you don’t hear it
or
B) scream at the top of your lungs I did that once to kenzie and it really shut her up. (just mimick the shriek)
Oh just for braden over at my blog is a picture of one of our ‘bigger and more’ doggies
Mackenzie’s Momma’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
Beck
Why do I have to wake up, indeed. Mornings suck.
Robyn
Personally…I am all about voting Coffee for President….(or in my case Prime Minister….) Probably do a better job…and HEY…It could stay awake at the same time…and smell good…and..(ok..not going there….)
Robyn’s last blog post..Thursday 13….
tommie
no advice….even on the boogers….mine are 3 and 4, and still I catch them. I am like, isn’t that really gross….the first time of of them actually says, “No, mom, it is good, I think I will lose it!”
tommie’s last blog post..Paying it forward
zoe
hmm. i have never seen or heard of a vagina falling off. but i have seen a uterus fall out…one that someone tried to keep inside with a potato. nice rak…brave on the back fat.
zoe’s last blog post..My big Bad
Kay
Ok, I’m having my own massive freak out moment: where the hell is the link for a braden a day????
peppylady
Me give word of wisdom you got to be kidding me.
peppylady’s last blog post..Crazy Timing
cookiebitch
First of all … nice rack.
Second … you are the bravest woman I know, putting your backfat on the internet. Seriously. Rosa Parks, Wonderwoman and Emilia Earheart have nothing on you.
Third … the booger eating. My advice would be to lock him back in the closet. Who needs to see that shit?
cookiebitch’s last blog post..THE DANGERS OF FREE BOOBIN’
Katie Ann
Just wanted to sprinkle a little commenty goodness on you and let you know that I’ve spent the past couple days reading all your back (and back fat) entries and you are just hi-larious.
Kara - down to earth mommy
boogers – some days all I say is “finger out of nose.” Usually he will forget about eating it if I distract him. Still haven’t figured out how to keep him from digging in the 1st place though.
Kara – down to earth mommy’s last blog post..Alternate sleeping arrangements
ecky
I like the sound of Spazzazoid
ecky’s last blog post..Day dreamer
Jenty
That’s such a cool list!!!
Jenty’s last blog post..It only takes an hour to make a difference
Twitter: jenty
janet
aren’t boogers one of the five food groups?
janet’s last blog post..Haiku Friday: the off-we-go edition
Twitter: planetofjanet
Erika
I stumbled across you, during Nablopomo and have been lurking since.. You make my day, everyday, I just wanted you to know! Ps Braden is so cute, as if you didn’t already know
Erika’s last blog post..BPA- free is the way to be
river
Okay, now I have to go back and read all your archives.
Rian Fike
Coffee IS President in our house.
Rian Fike’s last blog post..It’s Friday, Prepare for Flurries.
justmylife
The things you learn. It was a surprise to find out that you are #2 on the google list. Boogers? Ignore it while thinking GROSS.
justmylife’s last blog post..I am here…….
AJ
Ha! I love this list.
AJ’s last blog post..13 of the Cutest Things I’ve ever seen
jill
eww boogers. and your hoo-hoo can fall OUT but not off. gross enough.
jill’s last blog post..Organ Donation for All
LunaNik
Using the “rack” to get some readers…NICE…why haven’t I tried this tactic yet???
LunaNik’s last blog post..Blogging Basics 101
Christi
ahhh….I MUST be moving toward the popular girls of internetdom if I got a mention on the website of someone who has been nominated for such prestigous blog awards!
Christi’s last blog post..Losing teeth!